I Happen to Like Jokes Part 2
by EmperorJoker09
Summary: Joker and Harley meet, lives will be forever changed, second part of I Happen to Like Jokes series. I strongly suggest you read part one before diving into part 2 of the series. I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Strangely, and Joker laughed loudly as he thought about this, he couldn't seem to get a certain song out of his obsessive mind.

Harley, before she had been rudely taken away by the Bat, had winked at him oh so casually. A small perhaps invisible wink towards him that showed she was boiling up a pot of trouble, also letting him know to just let her go. Joker shook his hands in excitement, how wonderful it was to have been able to get her to start thinking like he did. Perfectly marvelous, yes truly marvelous, _oh, I can't believe it's happening to me, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this_!

He jumped up and down still laughing madly.

"Perfect! Perfect! Thank you Batsy! You're such a doll ya know!"

Joker jumped up again and clicked his heels, he pulled a gun from his pocket and shot crazily at the windows for the store, mouthing 'pow' as he shot at each window.

"What the hell are you doing Joker?" Ike called from behind.

"Oh sorry about that Ike…you see I'm just a tad excited." He shook his hands again tossing the gun to the side.

"Why are you excited?" He was extremely puzzled which made Joker laugh even harder, he himself didn't think he could possibly laugh any more deep than what he had been doing.

Joker held onto his stomach leaning forward gasping for air, he finally came up, "Well…I'm engaged!"

"What? Engaged, you? The Joker is engaged? To who?"

Joker swung his arms towards the mass of broken glass on the floor, but more towards the pile of glass the Bat had broken, "Harley!"

"Why would you be excited that your fiancée…got taken by the Bat?" He scratched his head thinking about the new windows he would have to get now.

Joker skipped happily over to Ike and then wrapped his arm around his shoulder, "Ike…you're too simple of a man to understand the deep complexity of this moment. But, in time you will come to appreciate this wonderful beginning, yes in due time you will." Joker patted Ike's chest and stared at him, "But!" Ike became startled after the long pause, "I would like you to, in the mean time, make my tux for the wedding, purples…greens…and all that, you have my dimensions haven't shed or gained a pound since the last time you measured me. Oh and I want you to come…I really do, Harley will probably take care of the invitations when I get her back…you know women like those tedious little things. Anyways I'm rambling on, I'll see to it that you get one!"

Joker motioned for his suit and Ike handed it to him with a concerned look on his face, "Well Ikey boy…Gotham needs attending too!" He stepped over the broken glass then stopped when he was on the outside of the building.

"I'll have someone come by and fix this awful mess you have here…you know you should be more careful…lot's of weirdo's running around…they might break in!" Ike watched Joker skip out of view listening to his maniacal laugh.

"Joker's engaged? What the hell is this world coming too?"

Harley sat in Batman's batmobile, it smelled awful. Pure sweat, nothing like her Puddin', and oh how she already missed his incredible charm and wit…

"Oh thank you so much Batman! I thought I would never get away from him…" Fake tears rolled down her cheeks, "I was so scared…thank God!"

Batman noticed the bruising on her cheek, "He hit you? What else did he do to you Miss Quinzel?"

She laughed within herself, "He…he touched me…if that's what you're asking." She made a disgusted look on her face, but she loved it when Joker touched her…absolutely loved his tender and brutal touches.

"Did he…"

"Yes, but I let him. I fooled him into actually thinking I liked him…_loved him_…I thought maybe somehow it could turn into a valuable situation."

"I'm sorry, I'll take you to the commissioner. You'll be safe there. You're very brave for being able to get through this with your head still on straight, although I'm sure you'll be scarred for a while. Joker is a sick and psychotic man…he is incredibly dangerous and cares for no one."

_That's what you think…God I could wring your neck right now…talking about him like that you asshole! You don't even know him. None of you actually know the terror that man went through. I miss you so much Joker!_

"Tell me about it…he treated me…like…like I was nothing but a…toy."

"Doctor Quinzel, again I'm incredibly sorry. I wish I could have gotten to you sooner."

"Hey…at least you got to me, I can be thankful for that right?"

Batman smiled towards her and nodded.

_Look at that cheesy ass smile you have…it's so ugly! Jokers smile is always perfect…so bright and loving, his lips so soft…yours looks like someone grabbed them and ripped them off and then stuck em' back on your pathetic face, mistaking you for a pig! Ya a pig! Joker always and foreva' B-Man!_

They pulled in front of the police department, "Thank you so much Batman…you are a true hero…"

Batman walked her inside and then vanished in a second flat; Harley was then met by Commissioner Gordon.

"Dr. Quinzel…it's an honor to see you…alive to be honest."

She faked a new set of tears and held herself as if she were disgusted with her body

"Please Miss Quinzel follow me, would you like some coffee, tea, water…anything at all?"

_All I want is my Joker back, and I'll take him now please…_

"A glass of water would be perfect."

The two of them sat down in his office and discussed the time she had been with The Joker. Harley carefully picked her words and used each tone of the words to her advantage, she had learned from the master of course.

"…and that's pretty much it…" She concluded her statement wiping her eyes with the tissue Gordon had given her, "I'll probably be scarred the rest of my life…thanks to that…monster."

_Sorry Puddin'!_

"Well, Doctor Quinzel, I can't tell you how good it feels to know you are alive…I can only imagine what it must have been like for you."

_Truly blissful…_

"You can go home, we'll triple the amount of protection around your house this time…Joker won't be able to get near you, and I give you my word."

…_I want to laugh so hard right now! My God you are all so stupid…we're going to get married for goodness sakes! All part of the joke I suppose._

"I trust you commissioner…I trust you'll do your job right."

With that, Harley was taken back to her home, outside three squad cars, not under cover this time, sat in the streets. Two large body guards stood at the apartment entrance, and two guards stood in front of the doorway to her room.

Harley noticed the time, just pass one in the morning. She usually was still awake at this time, talking to Joker, listening to his hypnotic words. Harley cried hard, she truly missed him…missed his hugs, kisses, ruffling of her hair. She had become so used to feeling Joker wrap her up in a warm embrace whenever she cried…and now he wasn't there…

Harley stepped carefully into the warm water in the tub then sulked down so the liquid was just beneath her chin line. She flicked the water with her fingers, bringing back the memory of how Joker had washed her so lovingly.

Harley wiped the tears from her eyes. He had told her so much about him, something no one else in the entire world new about…and she promised to never reveal his secret. He had told her that he loved her, that she had been the only person he ever loved.

"I miss you Puddin'…"

She finished her bath and got out. She dressed and then went to the bed and sat on it, twiddling her thumbs as she did.

_I really did have a boring life…if Joker were here we would be having fun. Whenever he's around we always have fun._

Harley sat up after a moment of thought and walked to the window to look out at the squad cars below.

There were no dead bodies on the hoods, _damn_.

She laughed at that, remembering how he had made a stalkers entrance into her life…she loved him so much.

Harley thought about his childish little acts, his unique breakfast meal, the love he had for gummy bears…she couldn't stop giggling.

"I love it when you laugh pumpkin…"

She turned around quickly and to her amazement Joker was leaning against the wall, dressed in his new vibrant suit.

"Puddin'!" She screamed loudly and then covered her mouth in fear that the officers might hear her.

"Don't worry cupcake the officer's work for me…" His voice deep and dark just the way she liked it.

Harley smiled as she ran across the room to him and jumped up into his arms smelling his wonderful scent, "I missed you so much Mistah J!"

Joker licked her lips, "I've missed you too Harley, I just can't get enough of you. But really it's only been what about six hours at the most?"

"Six hours too many…I love you! I love you! I love you!" Harley kissed his neck and nose.

"Harley I can't stay, even though the guards work for me…it's too risky. I wrote this so you can get a vibe for the plan…it's a good one you'll love it!" He handed her the sealed letter.

Her face dropped down a mile, "Please don't leave me…it's so boring without you."

Joker shrugged his shoulders, "I guess it couldn't hurt really."

Harley shrieked with joy and pushed her head into his chest.

"You're going to be the perfect wife Harl. That sounds odd huh?"

She nodded, "Yea."

Joker set her down on the bed and closed the blinds, "Harley?"

Harley kicked her legs in the air, she was so happy that Joker had come to her, "Yes?"

"How do you want to get married?" He sat down next to her and rubbed her back

"As long as I'm married to you I'll be just fine." Joker felt her place her head onto his shoulder, he ruffled her hair.

"You want a wedding…" He dug his nose into her cheek.

"Well, I wouldn't mind one."

"If you want a wedding Harley, then you'll get a wedding. I'd do anything for you just to see that gleaming smile of yours…it gets me so well."

Harley crawled underneath the covers of her bed and watched Joker stand up and stretch, "Are we going to bed Harl?"

"Yes…I've had a long day."

Joker slipped out of his suit and hung it delicately into her closet he walked back to her bed in his boxers, scratching his armpit as he went.

"Attractive…" Harley giggled.

He snuggled under the covers next to her and tapped her nose, "I do it for you babe."

"Guess what!" Harley shouted excitedly.

Joker jumped and then mimicked her tone of voice, "OMG what?"

She quieted her demeanor, "Did you just say omg?"

"Duh, get with the times Harley…"

"Don't say it again…it's weird…even for you."

"For you, I shall retire from using the phrase of omg…"

"Thank you, anyways…I got to ride in the batmobile!"

"Yea? I've always wanted to ride in that thing…it must have so many buttons."

"Buttons?" Harley questioned.

"I like buttons…" He said it so casually.

She giggled, "I figured that you would…I missed you so much."

"I know Harley…"

"Batman said that you were a…dangerous man…that you cared for no one…" She rubbed his chest underneath the covers.

"Oh really? What did you say?"

"I said 'tell me about it', but I wanted to tare his head off and wring his neck…bastard…he doesn't know you at all…"

Joker kissed her forehead, "What else happened?"

"I called him a hero…I felt like throwing up when I said that, and then I met Gordon."

"How did that go?"

"Well I faked some tears, got him to think that I fooled you into thinking that I loved you. It was fun but challenging, trying to keep my true feelings from flushing out."

Joker pulled her closer to him, "You did well…you did fantastically well."

"They took a urine sample though…to check if I was pregnant…"

Joker looked hard at her, "What were the results?"

"…Negative."

"Oh…"

Harley rubbed her thumb over his lips, "Well…that's good right?"

"…Yea, that's good."

Harley saw a look of sadness flutter throughout his eyes, "Hey…"

Joker kissed her forehead and then looked at her.

"If I was pregnant and they found out…who knows what would have happened, besides it's too early to tell anyways right? I would want you to know first also..."

Joker noticed a tear fall from her eyes and he rolled his, "Harley stop all this crying! What's the reason now?" He responded to her jokingly and Harley recognized the tone of his voice.

"You're going to be a great dad Joker…I honestly wouldn't want anyone else to be the father of my children…"

Joker popped his neck, "Thanks Harley…"

* * *

Thanks for being so very patient as I repost part 2 of this story. For now here's the first chapter of part 2, I will post the rest later on tonight as this part of the story is fully completed and I have a bit of work to get done. I did promise a few folks that I would repost part 2 today and I intend to keep that promise. Thanks again everyone!


	2. Chapter 2

Joker woke up and slipped out of bed. He went to the closet and retrieved his sacred suit and while he dressed himself into it he walked over to Harley.

He stared at her as he put his legs into the slacks, noticing the bruise on her cheek. Her cute lips, the sound of her voice when she spoke to him, a beautiful harlequin just for him.

Joker adjusted his lapels and collar as he bent down towards Harley, "Sweetie…wake up." He nudged her shoulder.

She rubbed her eyes and yawned trying to focus on her surroundings. When she finally was able to control her lazy eyes she looked up at Joker, "Hi…"

He smiled wider, "Hey beautiful…" Joker rubbed Harley's cheek with his hand, "I have to go."

Harley's dreamlike persona seemed to vanish upon impact, "No."

"Harley don't do this…just read the note and it will explain what to do next."

"Can't I go with you?"

"No Harl, just read the note."

Joker started to pull away but Harley grabbed his hand, "What I don't even get a goodbye?"

He looked shocked with himself, "Well, what the hell was I thinking?" Joker cradled her face kissing her lips affectionately and then he pulled away.

"You sure you have to go? It's so boring without you around…"

He chuckled, "Harl…I promise I'll be back."

"When?" A look of hope covered her face.

"Maybe today, maybe tomorrow...maybe in a few minutes, who knows?" He patted her head and exited through the window.

Harley grabbed the note and opened it anxiously.

_Harley that wink you gave me drove me absolutely bonkers!_

_You're learning so much! I want you to go to Commissioner Gordon's office today and tell him that you are going to go on a vacation to get away from this, I'm sure, horrible dilemma that has just been thrown on top of your pretty little head. Try not to let him know where you're going, but if the old man persists tell him your going out of state. He'll most likely ask for your cell or a number he can reach you at to make sure you're…safe. Give him this number (925) 354-4219, tell him it's your cell. After you've done that one of my men will pick you up, he'll take you to a safe spot and we'll discuss the rest of this joke later. You set this up perfectly._

_Harley, babe, love you forever!_

_Always your Clown Prince of Crime_

_Joker_

Harley clicked her toes together underneath the covers, "Oh Mistah J, what do you have cookin'?"

She prepared herself for her second meeting with Gordon. Faking tears in front of the mirror and then laughing at how good she was doing.

Roofie, an incredibly ridiculous name Harley thought, was to be her driver to and from the police department.

Harley had met him when she stepped out of her apartment room, "Good morning, I'm sure you have read the note, now there is no time to waste, Boss said we need to get moving quickly."

"Sure, I'm ready let's go." Harley moved swiftly next to the man and they soon exited the building and stepped into a small car.

"You understand what you need to do correct?"

"Yea, do you know what happens after?"

"I'll I know is that I bring you to Gordon and then I take you away from Gordon…if Boss has a plan, I have no ear in it."

"Oh. Can I ask you question?"

"Yes, of course." He seemed eager.

"Do I look like uncomfortable, you know like I'm disgusted with the way I look?"

Roofie looked her over, "Well, I'm sorry to say but you look very attractive, but please don't tell Boss. He would kill me in a heart beat."

"No." She stated simply, "I mean do I look like I was taken hostage by the Joker and am now scared for my life?" Harley squeezed her body as if imitating what she would be doing in the office with Gordon.

"Oh…yes very uncomfortable."

"Good." She relaxed her shoulders, "Oh and don't worry about what you said, me being attractive and all. I promise not to say a word."

"Thank you so much…"

After a brief time Roofie parked his car on the opposite side of the street, "Good luck, I'll be here when you get out."

"Thanks Roof." She closed the door and walked at a steady speed towards the entrance of the police building.

Once inside, a man behind a large desk confronted her, "May I help you miss?"

"I'd like to speak with Commissioner Gordon." Her voice hesitant and shaky.

"Do you have an appointment with him? If not I'm sorry to say, you'd have to make an appointment to see him."

"No, I don't have an appointment…but it has to do with…with The Joker."

"Oh, I'll call him right away, what's your name miss?"

"Harley Quinn…I mean Harleen Quinzel, sorry."

"Oh Doctor Quinzel! Please come with me Gordon said if you came by to take him directly to you."

Harley followed the man to Gordon's office. He had been busily working on papers until he looked up to notice Harley walk through the door, "Doctor Quinzel, how are you doing? It's a pleasure to see you again, please sit."

Gordon stood up and motioned her to a seat, she graciously took it.

"So, what brings you in? No signs of Joker I hope…"

"Oh no…no signs thankfully, but I came to let you know that…I'll be going away for a while. To you know, get away from what has happened."

"Well, I think that's a splendid idea…but I'd like to ask for you're number just in case I get hints on the whereabouts of Joker. I'd like to keep you informed as much as possible."

"Of course, I'll write it down for you."

Gordon passed a pen and paper across the desk towards her, Harley jotted down the number and gave it back.

"Is this your cell, I presume?"

"Yes…" She looked away for a moment, "You don't think that he'll…go out of Gotham to find me do you?"

"Well, from our records he's never really left Gotham to cause any chaos, but I can't guarantee it."

"Good enough for me…please call if you have any leads."

"I will Doctor Quinzel, when will you be leaving?"

"I have a car right out front ready to take me. I hope it does me some good to get away."

"I do as well Doctor, well, have a good time and try to relax, do you mind if I call in to see that you're doing okay?"

"I would appreciate it thank you Commissioner." Harley stood and shook his hand limply, then walked out the door in a shaky motion.

_Joker would be proud…_

She stepped back into the vehicle, "Wow that was easy."

"Good."

The car proceeded forward and they pulled back onto the street.

"Any idea where this place is, or do you only have directions?" Harley asked looking out the passenger window.

"Just directions are all."

Harley didn't mind the short answers she was tired and rolled onto her side in the seat, "Mind if I snooze for a while."

"Not at all."

She closed her eyes listening to the hum of the vehicle.

"So…what's the fascination with him anyways? Why do you like him?"

Harley smiled a little pondering the reasons why, "He makes me so happy, but it isn't a like…it's a love."

"Why is that?"

"Well, he let's me realize things…things I would have never come to see without him."

"Oh…he told me you two were engaged. What's that all about?"

"Were engaged, what's to tell."

"He doesn't seem the type to want to start a family."

"Not many people would think that…but me? I know him better than anyone else, but I still don't underestimate him. Not at all will I do that."

"Why? What did he tell you?"

"Look I'm kinda tired…you can ask me questions later."

"You got something on him...I want to know."

"It's none of your business really." Harley turned over further toward the passenger door.

"Come on just tell me."

"Drop it, or I'll tell Joker about what you said earlier."

He paused for a moment, "What did I say?"

Harley squinted her brows; obviously he wasn't very bright, "About how you told me I was attractive."

"He said what!"

Harley opened her eyes then felt the car slam to a stop next to the side of the road. She turned over to see Joker.

"Puddin'!"

Joker pulled out a phone and dialed a number his face growing with anger until someone answered the phone, "Kill Roofie." He hung up without further explanation.

"You didn't sound like yourself…how did you do that?"

"You know someone could have taken you so easily, you never even looked at me...you need to be more cautious. We've been driving for twenty minutes!"

"How did you change your voice?"

"Who cares about my damn voice!"

"I do, I love your voice…"

"Shut up!"

"Okay." She sulked down in her seat.

Joker sighed and tossed the phone into the back seat, "I missed you Harley."

Harley sprang up, "I missed you too!"

The two embraced and Joker kissed her ear, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I just got a little tense."

"It's okay…but really how did you change your voice?"

"Practice…did I surprise you?"

"Yes! I thought you were Roofie…why did you switch with him?"

"I told you Harl, I just can't get enough of my little cupcake."

The two pulled away and Joker pulled back onto the road, "I like your voice better."

"Why is that? He put his attention onto the road.

"It's awesomely sexy."

Joker laughed, "Not just sexy, awesomely sexy huh?"

"And that laugh…_wow_." Harley exaggerated her words.

Joker looked over at her, "Pumpkin, seatbelt."

"Oh thank you…"

"You don't need to thank me for that…its part of my job."

Harley was melting second after second, "You watch out for me…so cute."

"Is not…"

"Then what is it?"

"It's…something not cute."

Harley reached over and gave him a hug, "I don't like being separated from you…"

"I know."

"You are cute though…"

"I am not cute, they have to put a warning label on me!"

Harley acted like she put a label on his forehead, smacking it softly, "Warning incredibly cute…"

Joker kept his face straight as Harley burst out laughing.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Yes…yes…" She stopped her laughing.

"Good…" He opened his hand for Harley to take, once she pressed hers into his, Joker brought it up to his face and kissed her fingers soothingly.

"So what did you do while we were separated for about three hours?" Harley asked quietly as she felt Joker rub his cheek against her hand.

"Oh…nothing much." He eyed her through the corner of his sockets.

"I know you too well now Mister…what did you do."

"Nothing…just planted…a bomb is all."

"Oh…a bomb?" She shook her head as if impressed, "Where at?"

"…Not important." He placed her hand on his thigh, and put both of his hands on the wheel.

Harley rubbed his thigh, "Where did you put it?" She asked sternly.

"Eh, just some apartment building." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Which apartment building?" She had a clue which one he picked.

"Yours…" He spoke quietly.

"Why are you blowing up my apartment building?"

"Because then they'll think I'm trying to kill you."

"Oh, okay." Harley didn't seem bothered by his scheme.

"I knew you'd understand!" He reached over and kissed her cheek.

"How could I get mad at someone who is as cute as you are?"

"I am not cute!"

"…Well you're cute to me." She pulled her hand away and set it in her lap.

Joker looked disappointed, "I'm sexy not cute…"

"I'll give you that." Harley giggled, "_Damn that laugh!_"

"You like my laugh?" He chuckled, "Other people hate it."

"Well…they also don't have sex with you, and when you laugh…_wow_, does it make it amazing!" She clenched her fists and shook them.

"I can't help it when I have sex…I just laugh when, well you know."

"Really?"

"Yea, it's odd. But then again look at me…I'm stained white, have green hair, and red lips…I'm all over odd!"

"I like you the way you are, the perfect oddball ever!"

"Well, I assumed that you did, and it means a lot coming from you pumpkin."

"I meant every word." She crossed her heart as Joker laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a damn coconut, then why the hell can't he fix a simple hole in a boat?" Joker asked Harley demandingly.

They had been discussing television shows for the pass half hour, "I don't know." Harley laughed.

"Well, it's completely illogical, I guess that's why I like it. Silly and all…"

Harley stretched her arms out in front of her, "Have you ever had coconut milk?"

"No, but I probably wouldn't like it…I hate milk." His words came out as if in disgust.

"Why don't you like milk?"

"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out'? It's just too random, even for me." Joker kept his eyes on the road.

"Okay…well, where are we going?" Harley turned herself so she could lye down and be able to look at Joker.

"We are going to a secure location, its part of the joke."

"What's the joke?"

"If you have to explain a joke…then there is no joke Harley."

"So I have to figure it out on my own?"

"Yes!" He turned his head sharply toward Harley and tapped her nose, "And you set it up so wonderfully too."

She grinned and then closed her eyes, "How much longer?"

"Not too long. I say about twenty minutes." Joker reached over to her with his right hand and stroked her head.

"Where is it!" Harley suddenly burst out.

Joker jumped and swerved momentarily, "Don't do that! Were going to the sea front okay?"

"The beach!" Harley shrieked in excitement.

"Quiet down!" He rubbed his ear.

"I love the beach and ocean! How romantic…"

Joker smiled at her, "Well the reason we're going isn't for a romantic get away…but I'm sure we can adjust a few hinges to make it work out the way you want pumpkin pie."

"Yay!" She spoke quietly this time.

After a short while they arrived at the place they would be staying for only Joker knew how long.

"Wow this place is…wow." Harley couldn't find the words to describe what she was seeing.

"Amazing huh?" Joker looked down at her.

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of beat up, dirty, what the hell were you thinking, those kind of things."

Joker cocked his head at her. He then positioned his head like Harleys to see what she was seeing, "Oh!" This made him laugh, "You think we…" He pointed two fingers at the two of them, "are staying there?" Joker motioned his fingers toward the small rotting shack in front of them.

"Aren't we?"

"No! How on earth could I let my perfectly formed harlequin sleep in there? No…we stay in the place behind it." He picked her up and moved her so that she could see the building that resided behind the abandoned shack.

"Oh wow!" Harley gasped.

"Right, now come on lot's of planning to do." Joker grabbed her hand and gave a short tug, Harley responded and began to walk still eyeing the immense beach house.

"How the hell do you get these things! First the huge house, the laboratory, the doctor equipment, the elevator within the huge house…now this!"

"This place has an elevator too." He winked at her.

Harley shook her head, "You really have thing for elevators huh?"

"They elevate nicely, what can I say?"

They entered the beach house and instantly Harley fell in love with the view of the ocean, "Awww Puddin' it's gorgeous!" She pointed out towards the horizon.

Joker set down a bag he had with him and walked up to Harley in a short zig zag motion, when he reached her, he unclasped his hands from behind his back and wrapped them tenderly around Harleys waist. He stood tall behind her, smelling her pleasant aroma, "Not nearly as gorgeous as you."

Joker heard a small whimper, "What's the matter sweetheart?" He placed his chin onto her shoulder.

"I just always wonder what mom would think about the choices I make in life. Would she agree? Would she disagree? Would she even bother to give the energy to agree or disagree?"

"It wouldn't matter would it? As long as you're happy in life…are you happy Harley?"

"I wasn't, for a long time, but then I became a doctor and met this real loony guy."

Joker laughed, "Does he make you happy?"

"He makes me feel like no one could be happier than me, and you know what, I believe him."

"Hey! I don't like the sound of this guy, taking my girl, right under my nose even!" He flicked his nose as Harley looked at him, "Could I take him on?"

"I don't know he's pretty strong…" She tried to sound serious but her small giggles got in the way.

Joker squinted his eyes, "Is this guy smarter than me?"

"One of the smartest guys in the world, maybe even the smartest."

"What about looks? I have to have him on looks…"

Harley smiled, "He's incredibly good looking…I would doubt it."

"Okay…I'm a funny guy, I have better jokes than him. Please tell me I have better jokes than this guy…"

Harley turned her head away from Joker acting as if she was in shame.

"Harley! Really? He's funnier than me?"

She kept quiet, beside the few giggles that managed to come out.

"Well, I hate to break it to you…I think our relationship is over." He pulled away.

"It's you silly!" Harley turned back to him.

"Oh! Well, in that case…" Joker picked her up and cradled her close to his chest, kissing her softly along the neck and lips. He had been able to get Harley's thoughts away from her mother once again.

"Hey you called me loony…"

"Yup!"

"I like it." Joker set her down on the couch that was right behind them.

"Would you want a girl or boy first?" Harley asked as she watched Joker turn on the television.

"I never thought about it." He sat down next to Harley, "What do you want?"

"I'm happy with either one."

Joker grabbed Harley and then gracefully dropped on his back with Harley on top of him, "Do you think we would be good parents?"

"Yes." She combed his hair back.

"Kiss me Harley."

Harley did with a sense of passion behind it. She could feel Joker become aroused underneath her, and so, she dug her knee into his groin.

He closed his eyes tighter and groaned, Harley still kissed him, laughing as she did.

She pulled away and placed her head on his chest.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say my little cupcake was beginning to take on the symptoms of becoming a sadist."

"Nah."

Joker kissed her forehead, "You seem kinda hot there kiddo…"

"Thank you!"

"No, well yes, but no your forehead seems hot, I think you have a little fever going." He pushed her off of him and felt her head.

"I feel fine, really."

"I'm not taking any chances come with me." Joker stood up, Harley did as well.

They proceeded to another room in the house, an almost exact replica of Jokers laboratory at his regular home.

"Sit down." He ordered Harley.

She did without question while she watched Joker open refrigerators and cabinets. He grabbed a small jar filled with reddish green liquid and a syringe, which Harley wasn't to fond of seeing.

"I'll give you a shot of the antitoxin for my Smilex while were down here. I finally got the shot form down." He seemed proud of his accomplishment.

"Alright…"

Joker swabbed the area with an alcohol swab and then gave her the shot. Harley felt the sting of the liquid travel down her arm.

"Wow, that sucker packs a real punch."

"Yea, the only downside of it, no side effects with my drugs, well unless I want them to."

"Really?"

"Yes, now…" He went back to the refrigerator and moved various tubes and items out of the way until he found what he was looking for, "Here drink this."

"What's it for?"

"The common cold, better safe than sorry hmm?"

Harley took the medicine, it didn't taste too bad.

"Harley?"

She cleared her throat, "Yea?"

"Do you want to know if you're pregnant?"

"Well yea I guess, but it's only been about three days since you put me through a blissful session. How could we know for sure?"

"Blissful session…anyways I have something that can tell us as early as thirty-six hours after conception…no need for missed periods."

"Really Joker, you need to tell me these things before hand, how the hell do you come up with these things anyway?"

"I'm good at chemistry…"

"Okay I'll give you that, but when do you find time to figure these things out?"

"Harley…I spend a lot of time in Arkham, they don't really let us do much there. So I play a lot in my head."

She raised an eyebrow, "Is it fun there, I mean in your head?"

"Like an amusement park…"

"I'd be scared to go there."

"I was scared at first to go there myself…believe me…But do you want to know if you're pregnant or not?"

Harley swallowed hard, "Do you want to know?"

"I do, but you don't. I can tell. Why don't you want to know?" He moved closer to her and dropped down to her height.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just scared to know if I could be holding a child within me."

"No…tell me the truth Harley." Joker widened Harleys legs and scooted himself between them. He wrapped his arms around Harley's waist and looked up at her.

"People could take our kids as hostages…who knows what could happen to them Joker." She turned her head down and away, imagining the horrible acts of torture that their enemies could inflict upon them.

"I thought about that." He licked his lips, "I can protect them, and I can protect you."

Harley didn't look any more assured.

"Harley, no one will touch them…no one will take them…because if someone does…they'll know who they would be dealing with for the rest of their life."

"But you have so many enemies, do you have anyone who is on your side?"

"Besides you? Not many…but Harley, I can do this…we can do this. Hiding what's inside of you isn't going to change anything anyways...if there is a kid in there," Joker patted Harley's stomach, "we can't really stop it."

"What about aborti…"

"NO!" Joker roared at her, "No…I'm not killing my children…"

"I wasn't thinking, I wouldn't want to do that either…I'm just scared for them is all."

"I understand." He calmed himself, and laid his head down on Harleys lap, "So, do you want to know?"

Harley stroked Jokers soft emerald green hair, "Let's just do the test or whatever it is, and I'll let you know if I want to know or not when you find out…"

"You sure?"

"Yes…"

"Okay." Joker stood up and again retrieved something from the refrigerator, he went back to Harley and presented it to her, "Drink this."

Harley grabbed the cup and swirled the thick liquid inside. It was a deep purple and when she swallowed the liquid it felt warm against the lining of her esophagus, "Now what?"

"Next time you go to use the restroom, make sure to aim for this." He handed her a small urination cup.

"Fantastic, I'm tired, can we go to bed?"

Joker lifted her up off of the chair, "Harley, it's only four thirty…"

"I'm tired…and I would like…to go to bed."

"Watch your tone…"

Harley laughed as she felt Joker lick behind her ear.

Joker bundled Harley up in the bed, and then sat beside her twiddling his thumbs.

"If you have to use the restroom Harley, wake me up if I'm asleep, I have to examine it with in a half hour to tell if your pregnant or not."

"Yes sir, Mr. Scientist man." Harley pulled the cover over her head, but she looked back out quickly, "I love you!"

Joker looked down at her, "Go to sleep cupcake, I love you too."

Harley smiled brightly and then hid herself again falling asleep within moments.

"_Mom! Dad! Where are you?"_

"_It's okay son…she had evil within her…"_

"_Shoot her Jack…shoot her she has evil within her too, we need to stop the evil before it gets to us. Do it Jack do it!"_

"_It's for the best Jack…"_

"_No Jack!"_

"_Evil has already gotten you."_

"_Jack! No, why Jack, why did you shoot him! He meant no harm! You killed him…"_

"_Mom, I got a full ride to a college. Aren't you proud of me? Aren't you proud of me!"_

"_BANG…BANG…BANG…click, click, click, click, click, click…"_

"_It's okay Mistah J, it's all over now, come here…I understand."_

"Joker! Joker! Wake up!" Harley screamed at him.

"What!" He came to and noticed Harley shaking him violently.

"I have to pee!"

"Then go pee! Damn…" He threw his head back onto the pillow.

"But you have to do the test…"

"Oh, right. Well, come one then." He stood up and followed Harley to the bathroom.

Once she was done she handed Joker the cup, and he went to the laboratory. Harley followed closely behind him.

"So do you want me to tell you or not?" He was still a little groggy and upset about his dream.

"Well…don't tell me if I am, but if I'm not pregnant then tell me."

Joker sighed and hit his head against the counter top to one of the tables in the lab, "Then you would know if you're pregnant regardless Harley…"

She thought about it, "Oh…then don't tell me."

"Alright."

Joker took a sample from the cup with a dropper and then put a few drops onto a cup slide. He rubbed his eye and sniffed loudly, stretched his arms out in front of him and then put his eye up to the microscope.

Harley watched from the door way.

Joker cleared his throat and then went to a cabinet and picked out a bottle. He looked at the name of it and then being satisfied with it being the bottle he wanted he took it back to the microscope. He added a few drops of this liquid to the cup slide and then shook it carefully. When the two different liquids had been introduced to one another a bright green color was produced. He slid it back under the microscope and examined it again. After a few moments he pulled away and rubbed his nose, stood up and cleaned his work space. When he was finished with that he yawned and left the lab room passing Harley as if nothing had taken place.

Joker jumped back in bed and Harley did as well.

"So?" Harley asked.

"So what?"

"Am I?"

"You told me not to tell you Harley. Did you change your mind?" His back was towards her.

"No, no I don't want to know…" She covered herself up, and after a few quiet seconds passed, "Can you give me a hint?"

Joker jumped up, "Look…I'm not going to be playing this game with you. Decide right now if you want to know or not!"

"I don't…"

"Then go to bed!"


	4. Chapter 4

Joker couldn't fall back asleep, his dream kept him awake. The screams of his mother shot through his imagination, loud and short bursts of horror hitting the sides of his mind. Rattling his soul every time he would hear himself laugh and shoot his mother…every night…every time he slept. But something new had come to him, this time Harley was there in his reoccurring nightmare. Relaxed and well mannered, arms graciously opened wide for him to take and be embraced with. She would always be there for him, always make things right. And he would be there for her, always making sure she was safe and unharmed. He listened to her breathe, so quiet and simple. Harley was the perfect match for him, in ways he couldn't actually describe. But she was so perfect, even his dreams knew that, every part of his body knew that Harley was the only one in the world that could possibly understand his life.

He sighed and sat himself upright, "Are you awake?" He hoped desperately that he didn't wake her perfect mind up.

A small voice answered, "Yea."

They had both been lying down for what seemed like hours, but in actuality was only twenty minutes. Joker looked over to his side of the bed, which was on the left, and noticed the time. It was three in the morning, and considering they had both gone to bed at about five the day before, he agreed with his internal clock that it was time to wake up.

"Are you still tired?" A groggy tone was present and with that grogginess a hint of death resided nervously close.

"Not really." Harley now sat up too.

She hadn't been able to fall asleep due to the fact that Joker now had a secret enclosed within his large and unending mind, and Harley forbid herself from coming in contact with that very secret. Was she pregnant or not was the only thing running through her scattered thoughts at the moment. The possibility of being the mother of The Jokers child…_the mother of The Jokers child…_was something that was terrifyingly splendid and unique.

"Well," Joker started, "let's get up and have some coffee!"

Harley shot her direction towards him, "No way do I want to see you with coffee in your system."

"It's actually quite funny." He placed his hand down on hers, which was delicately placed next to her wrapped up body.

"I don't want to be around you even if you breathe the aroma of coffee."

"Hey, you don't want to be around me, the funniest guy in all the land, the most notorious villain, the coolest of the cool, your very own Joker? I'm like…the most awesomest person ever."

Harley sighed and leaned into him, "The most awesomest?"

"Yea!"

Harley squeezed his hand lovingly, "Yea, I don't want to be around you when you have coffee…"

Joker only laughed.

"All I can think about is if I'm pregnant or not!" Harley jumped out of bed suddenly and walked swiftly to the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair.

"I can tell you if you want." Joker called out to her.

He wanted to tell her just so she would stop bothering him. He had only known for thirty minutes, and she was already ranting on and on about wanting to know or not.

"Mmmm…I don't know!" Harley stomped her feet lightly on the bathroom floor while she brushed her teeth.

Joker pushed his head back on the wall and rolled his eyes. A dark smile present on his face. Maybe this could be a means for some fun…

He stood up and stretched, cracking his back in the act, and went to also prepare for the day.

Harley spit out the toothpaste and then rinsed her mouth with water. When she was finished she advertised her clean teeth towards Joker.

"Very nice." He shook his head in approval and brushed his own teeth.

Harley stared at him, "I want to know!"

He continued brushing while looking at Harley through the mirror. She waited impatiently, biting her lower lip and tapping her fingers on the counter top.

He spit and rinsed just like Harley, and then turned towards her; supporting himself up, with his arm conveniently placed on the counter.

"You sure?"

She pushed the corner of her mouth down contemplating, "Eh, no, no…I mean…"

"Do you want to know or not?" He waited patiently unlike her.

Harley clenched her teeth and breathed in slowly, creating a hissing sound as a result.

"Think about it then…" Joker went back to the bed, and to Harleys surprise he started jumping up and down on it.

"Hey!" She ran over to him, "Stop jumping on the bed!"

"It's my bed!" He smiled darkly.

She dug for a comeback but alas could not, "Be careful then."

"I wonder…when Gordon…is going…to call!" He remarked while trying to reach the top of the ceiling.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes! Without…him…the joke…can't…proceed!"

"Oh…" Harley sat down on the side of the bed, her body moving with the jumps of the Joker.

He stopped after a few more bounces and playfully crawled up to her side, "What do you want the answer to be Harl?"

"Yes because I want to have a child with you, and no because I don't want them to get hurt."

"Harley if you do happen to be pregnant, I would watch out for you both. I'd do everything in my power to keep my family safe."

"I know you would." She fell backwards on the bed, "Aren't I supposed to be the one giving you the news?"

Joker smiled, "Now that I think about it yes. I'm playing as doctor! And here I thought _you_ were my doctor…"

"Technically I still am, have I made a breakthrough yet?"

Joker fell backwards as well, "Yes I think so."

"Well, that's good to know. I mean, I've broken most of the codes of being a physiatrist; at least I did one thing right." She laughed now, "I've kissed my patient, lived with my patient, had…sex with my patient, am getting married to my patient, and I might be pregnant with my patient's kid…oopsy!"

"That's a pretty big oops you got going."

She was in awe as Joker bit into her neck, "Who cares about all that now, you got me…" He ran his hand along the inside of her thigh, "I make all the troubles go away…"

Harley's body instantly relaxed as she felt Joker slice the back of her neck with a knife he pulled out of his pocket. It wasn't a deep cut or long cut, just a simple one that amazingly calmed her…and aroused her.

Joker pressed his finger hard against the new cut as he bit Harley's ear lobe, "You smell wonderful sweetie…"

Harley lapped at his words and somehow they did make all the troubles go away…every time he spoke, he made those horrible moments seem to fly out the window. He could just…change the matter of the conversation in an instant. Harley didn't seem to mind that Joker had these powers, but it was concerning to her that she was becoming aroused about being cut…or maybe it wasn't. The man she loved so much was doing it…could it possibly be that bad?

"I think it would be good for my health, if you told me if I was pregnant or not." She flipped over onto her stomach, "I feel so nervous."

Joker rolled over into her side and kissed her, "You're too adorable Harley."

Harley smiled and dropped her head down onto the bed looking at Jokers purple eyes, "Were a pretty complex couple."

"Yes we are."

"I mean, think about all the stories people will write about us, the television shows, cartoons even!"

Joker shook his head, "Fame seeker are we? Is that all you see me for?"

"No…" She slapped his arm playfully, "I was just thinking."

"I know you were." He licked the back of her neck and then fell back beside her, "I love the way you taste, it's so sweet Harley, and you're so sweet…"

She smiled thoughtfully as Joker rubbed her back, "Okay seriously I want to know."

"Really this time?"

She sighed, "Yes."

"…Positive?" He raised his eyebrows incredibly high, a questioning smile that had an eerie trance to it.

"Yes!"

"You really want to know if you are pregnant?" He cocked his head to the side. It was so fun to toy with her beautiful mind, and that was no understatement, it was quite beautiful.

Harley grabbed his shoulders tightly, "Yes Joker!"

"…I don't know."

Her eyes got bright, "Tell me!"

"I don't really see what the huge deal is anyways. I mean all we have to do is have sex again, which, in all honesty, I don't mind committing that with you, Harley, at all. I just take one minor glance towards you and I get this sudden arousal that just shoots through me from head to toe..." He reached back to her cut with his finger and wiped up the new blood that had seeped out, still as sweet as ever.

Harley's heart dropped, "You mean we aren't?"

"I never said that."

"Then we are pregnant?"

He licked the corner of his lips, "I never said that either."

"Joker!" Her eyes almost seemed red and angry…almost. She did love the way he played with her after all.

"Okay! Okay…" He stood up and popped his neck then knelt down casually on the side of the bed. Harley instantly sat near the edge where Joker was.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, "You sure you want to know?"

"Yes!" She screamed this time with her hands clenched into fists as if she was going to punch him.

"Woah…okay easy." He eyed her darkly.

Joker removed one arm from around Harley's waist and lifted up her shirt, he spoke soft and slow.

"_Hush little baby don't say a word…daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird._

_And if that mocking bird won't sing….daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring."_

Harley instantly started to cry and she placed her head on top of Jokers as he sang quietly into Harley's stomach, his forehead pressed firmly against her warm skin. To her amazement, Joker cried too. Not a stress cry, an actual cry of happiness, and Harley could feel the few tears he produced travel along her flesh.

Harley reached down to Jokers face grabbing his cheeks carefully and turning his wet face up to her. She cried as she smiled into his eyes, laughing from joy as she did.

_You're going to make a great father, even if you don't know it._

He smiled back and then returned his view to her stomach, kissing it softly.

Joker had a hard time concealing his emotions; he was glad that Harley had finally wanted to know. The whole time he kissed and caressed Harley's stomach, he heard his dream again. This time not his mother crying for help, crying of pain, crying for defeat, it was Harley telling him it was okay. He didn't hear the gun shots…hear his father scream his name…it was Harley laughing and caressing him, 'it's okay now'…Things were so different, he felt emotions flying through him, and for once…once in his life…he didn't mind them. He wasn't angry that Harley had caused all this, deep down…he was thankful, completely thankful.

_I promise kiddo, I will never let you down, I will never give up on you…I will never leave you...You will never experience the things mom and I have had to go through…not in a million years…Oh believe me, it will be tough in our lifestyle…but trust me…trust mom…we'll be there with you every step of the way…we…will never leave you…_

The two rocked back and forth, held tightly by the other. Harley kissing and stroking Jokers hair as she listened to his soothing words.

"_So hush little baby don't you cry…mommy loves you so much…and so do I…"_


	5. Chapter 5

Joker held Harley close to his body while they stood underneath the raining water of the shower, her back neatly pressed against his developed stomach, with his arms wrapped around her slender waist. Joker positioned his hands so that they were carefully pressed against her tummy, one on top of the other. Harley's delicate fingers were laid firmly on top of his hands, the water slipping between them.

The two had stood in the shower for a long time laughing and speaking softly to one another.

"We're going to parents." Harley turned her head towards Jokers.

He rested his chin on her left shoulder a small grin seeming to appear as he felt Harleys muscles move to look at him.

She noticed how his hair now fell heavily across his forehead stopping just above his brow line. The pouring water seemed to create downward running streams across his face, a calming feature that Harley adored.

"Never in any of my dreams did I suspect this could happen." His demeanor was completely different from his old self, and although it troubled him deeply, he figured it was okay for the time being.

Harley closed her eyes, "I feel weird. It's odd to know you have something growing inside of you."

Joker removed one hand from Harley's stomach and wiped the hair on his forehead back, causing the water to splash harshly downwards. He crept into her neck and kissed slyly for a brief second then inched his way up to her lips.

Harley turned casually so that they were now positioned with their fronts towards each other, her arms wrapping around Jokers neck motionlessly as she received a passionate kiss from her prince.

He urged her backwards lovingly during the kiss until her back came in contact with the wall. He felt her lips curve into a smile as he sucked tenderly on them.

"I'm the luckiest guy…in the world Harley." Joker had pulled away from the kiss and Harley watched him with great admiration.

The water descended peacefully along his body, his purple eyes searching inside of hers, for something anything at all.

"I don't know why I hurt you, I don't want to, but I still do." Joker spoke to her quietly, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You do it because it's what you need." Harley reached up to his face, caressing his cheek in her hand as she wiped his eye with her thumb, "It's what I need…"

"This isn't me. I kill, create chaos, and now…I'm starting a family. What am I doing? What's happening to me?" He pushed his forehead against hers and stared deeply into those baby blues, swimming within them, never wanting to leave.

"Love is happening to you."

"We can't, let this get out. We can't let everyone know what I'm like. If they know that I have these feelings now…this amount of feelings towards someone, they would use it to their advantage. I can't have that, we need to hide this." Harley felt his hand stroke her cheek.

"When we are in jobs, we can hide it. You don't have to act like this the entire time Pud."

"But it makes you so happy." He whispered into her ear.

She pulled his body closer to him, hugging him with more intensity, "I know who you really are beneath that tough exterior. Other people don't need to know what's really going on. They don't need to know your life, your feelings, anything…you go out and strike fear into peoples hearts. Show them the true world for what it is. That's one of the main things that make me happy anyways." Harley finished with a small smirk.

He laughed, "Why are you so perfect…"

Outside the shower they heard a vibrating noise coming from the bathroom counter, "That would be the commissioner!"

Joker jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around him as he did, and located the phone, "Good morning Gordo! It's been a dog's age…"

Harley stepped out now drying her body off and then placed a towel securely around her. She skipped up to Joker kissing him on the cheek, "Get em' tiger!"

He smiled and then returned his attention to the call, "What's that?...Harleen?...Oh you mean Harley!...Why yes, she's been just the perfect little hostess to me…how could I hurt a pretty little thing like her…holding her against her will?...You want to speak to her?...Hold on let me see if she wants to talk…"

Joker looked over at Harley who had just finished dressing herself, and she replied with a haughty shrug.

"She'd be delighted to speak with you! Just a second…" He handed the phone over to Harley, "Play like you're still being held against your will baby doll."

Harley nodded, clearing her throat, "Hello?"

"Harleen, are you safe? Has he hurt you at all? Do you have any idea where you are?"

"I'm fine…and no." She smiled as Joker ran his fingers over her stomach.

"I should have never let you go on that vacation, how on earth did he find you? He must have been watching you the entire time, don't worry, we'll find you."

Joker kissed Harleys forehead and took back the phone, "Well, Harley and I have to get back to our vacation…I'm not going to hurt her Gordo calm down…what do I want? Well I hear those new wide screen televisions are to die for!...Oh in exchange for Harley?...What makes you think I want to give her up?...I don't like that tone commissioner…yes, you're going to be in for a real treat." With that said he hung up the phone, but of course not before ending the conversation with his heart constricting laugh.

"Now what do we do?" Harley brushed her wet hair.

"We wait for the party…" He went to the closet to pick his suit out, shockingly...he picked his purple one.

"What party?"

"Two days from now is the Gotham Police Department Banquet, it's at Bruce Wayne's place. You know that rich guy? Anyways that's when we show them _the truth_."

Harley sat on the sink counter now, she dangled her legs over the edge, "The truth about what?"

"I can't tell you silly! It won't be funny then." He finished clothing himself and returned to where Harley sat.

Harley fixed his hair to the way he preferred, "Well, what do we do at the banquet?"

"Don't worry, you just go and have a good time. Mingle. Talk. Socialize! I'll do the rest and include you as I go along." Joker grabbed her knees and swung them side to side bringing his face within inches of her own.

"That doesn't seem like much adventure for me." She pouted her lips but Joker only kissed them.

"Now that you have a little one growing inside of you, I can't risk my sweetie pie getting hurt can I?" Joker patted her tummy.

Harley loved the fact that he was protecting her and their child already. He was going to be the best father, she just knew it, "I guess not."

"Awww, don't pout now! I don't like to see my girl without a smile…" He moved his hand down lower to her sex and rubbed gently on the outside of the shorts she was wearing.

"Mmmm, _Puddin'_…" Harley tossed her head to the side as Joker began to press harder against her.

"Oh, you like that sort of thing do you Harl?" Joker grabbed her hair with his free hand and pulled her towards him.

"When it comes from you…I always love it." She spoke scruffily to him.

"I must admit, that was extremely arousing…_I love it_! But pumpkin I have to leave for a while. Maybe when I get back we can resume our fun, how does that sound?"

"That was mean! Get me all gearin' for some fun Mistah J and then you drop me like that!" She sighed heavily, "Okay, where you goin'?"

"I just have to meet with a guy is all. I'm leaving now so I'll be back before you know it." Joker bent down to her belly, "And you!" He pointed sternly to her stomach, "Keep an eye on your mother, she's a handful trust me."

He started to walk away but stopped himself and returned to his future child, "You're going to be a special kid, I can already tell. I'm going to spoil the hell out of you! Bring home toys and games and sugar lots and lots of splendid, blissful, dreamlike sugar!" Harley gave him an 'evil eye' stare

"When mom ain't lookin'…and you know the best part of it all? You get a pretty damn fantastic dad I'd have to say. I'll get you tons of stuff for Christmas, and your birthday. I'd make sure to get a cake…a huge cake, for your birthday. And I would never forget it, not like my dad...I would never forget a single thing about you. And I would make sure you're always smiling!"

Harley rubbed his head while he spoke, "And your sweet little belly won't ever grumble…never will it grumble, yes amazing meals for you and your tum-tum!" He stroked his own stomach.

Harley laughed, "You hear that baby?" She patted her stomach, "You're going to be spoiled rotten by dad!"

"Of course I'm going to spoil the hell out of my kid! I will make sure they are always happy…" Then like the message finally struck him, "I'm going to be a dad!"

"And a great dad at that Puddin', a fantastic father I know you will be."

"I'm going to be everything my dad wasn't, I'll always be there for this kid Harl."

"Can't I go?" She laughed as Joker talked to their child who hadn't even begun to grow within her.

"And we'll go to the circus and laugh so hard together, I'll show you tricks, and get you ice-cream, and we'll watch movies, and color pictures, we'll go to Africa, or Europe, or Asia, or the backyard…and we'll have so much fun!"

"Hey…" Harley giggled as she listen to him ramble on.

"Oh! And I'll take you on amusement rides. I'd be there right by your side to make sure you were safe. And I'd tell you all the best jokes, we'll listen to music and talk…"

"Joker…hey…" She was still laughing.

"If you were a boy, we'd go to the creek and catch bugs and slimy things. Make fun of girls, and pull pranks on them, especially mom. If you were a girl, wow, we'd get a bunch of makeup and do each others faces, we'd get doll houses and play…we would gossip and spread rumors! That would be fun huh? I would take you out to get pretty new clothes, dresses, little shirts…anything your little heart desired. That's something I need to start looking into…clothes, bedding, cribs…I need to decorate your room! If you were a boy we would paint it in greens and purples so you could be just like dad, and if you were a gorgeous little girl, red and black just like mom!"

"Joker!"

"I wish you were here already, but I have to wait like forever! That isn't much fun now is it? We are going to have so much fun kid…yes we are!"

"Hey!" Harley still was smiling but she spoke louder this time.

"What?" He finally noticed her, "What's wrong?"

"You've been talking to your baby, but I asked if I could go with you."

"Harley I'll be right back." He kissed her stomach in a rapid repetitive motion.

"Please let me go?" Harley's tummy tickled from his kisses.

"I'll only be gone for an hour or so, relax, watch television, call…Ivy…just relax doll face." He kissed her tummy one last time and then reached up and kissed Harley, "Bye babe."

"Bye…be careful." She tried to keep her smile on just for him.

"I'm The Joker!" He walked backwards out of Harley's view with his arms spread out to his sides, "What could happen?"


	6. Chapter 6

Joker stood strong in the alley way, the morning fog nipping angrily at his skin. He pulled his coat tighter around him waiting for the guy who had desperately wanted to see him. Something about, what was it, oh right, Batsy. Joker couldn't refuse a date that had hints of Bat with it, never could he pass it up.

This was why the unknown man had mentioned Batman, he knew for certain Joker would show. His car pulled up, and he stepped out strangely, almost like one leg was shorter than the other.

Joker turned around to notice the car, his breathing could be seen due to the bitter cold.

"What do you have on Bats?" He desperately wanted to get back to Harley, "I'm a busy kind of guy and have plans."

The man limped towards Joker revealing a gun from his coat pocket, aiming straight ahead to where Joker stood, "Your plans have to be cut short I'm afraid."

Joker laughed, "It would have been funnier if you had a knife!"

"Excuse me?" He lowered his gun an inch.

"You know," He sliced his arm through the air, "Cut! Cut my plans short…you need to think of these things before hand."

"Penguin ordered me to kill you, so well…" He aimed his gun back onto Jokers head.

"Why?" He actually seemed to be puzzled by the statement provided by the limping man.

He again lowered his gun, "You shot him. And then you blew up his building. You also stole his diamond."

"I did no such thing! It was my diamond anyways…" He placed his hands onto his chest, shocked by what he was being accused of.

"Ain't what Penguin says, doesn't matter anyways. I'm going to shoot you just for the hell of it."

"Oh! Did I do something to you? Kill a friend? Blow up your work premises? Shave your dog?"

"Shave my dog?" He scrunched his brow.

"Yea," Joker scratched his head, "I shaved someone's dog one time. Boy were they pissed! I think, if I remember correctly, it was a poodle…" He now scratched his chin and tapped his foot, looking down at the ground contemplatively.

"Enough about the dog!"

"That was when I was just a tyke! Going around creating mischief, saw a dog so I cut its hair off." He slapped his knee, "The owners chased me around for hours!"

"Shut up clown! You killed my wife…"

"Oh, well I could see why you'd be upset." Joker regained his composure.

The man cocked his head slightly, "You, you see why I'm upset?"

"Yea, I understand what a relationship is like, and I can honestly say I meant no harm by it." An arm flew up to his side, an '_on my honor'_, signal.

"Meant no harm! You killed her you sick bastard…"

"That's pretty damn cliché you know." Joker took a step towards the man, "Sick bastard, I know I am…try calling me something I don't know."

"Egotistical!"

Joker yawned.

"Completely unbalanced!"

Glanced down at his shoe.

"Freaked out kooky lunatic!"

Joker looked up on that one, "Kooky?"

"Stop these games!" He held the gun now with two hands, no shakiness present.

Joker clenched his fists and waved them in the air, "But it's _soooo_ much fun!"

"I have a gun aimed on you and all you do, is, is make jokes!"

Joker shrugged his shoulders, "…I guess…that would be why they call me…_Joker_." He said his name slowly and sarcastically, understanding that the man obviously had no intellectual thought process going on.

The man was fed up with the remarks; he shot Joker in the chest.

Joker fell down onto his back grunting as he hit the cement in the alley his head pounding sharply against it. The man instantly ran over to him. He peered down at the fallen fool.

Jokers face was strikingly still. Eyes lightly shut closed. The man bent down and felt his pulse…

Harley sat on the bed bundled up in the comforter watching one of her favorite shows. It made her laugh, and cry, and show tons of emotions…just what a girl needed.

She heard a noise and looked over to her side, a cell phone was sitting on the end table quietly ringing. She presumed it belonged to Joker and she grabbed it.

'Loy Calling' was shown on the front screen.

Harley didn't know if she should answer it, but she did anyways…why the hell not right?

"Hello?"

"Miss Quinn?"

"Yes? Who is this?"

She listened to him clear his throat, "My name is Loy, I work for Joker…I have some bad news Miss Quinn."

Her heart felt like it skipped a beat, "Okay."

"During the job…Joker, he…he got shot in the chest."

Harleys eyes closed for a moment, "What?"

"He didn't make it. He's…gone Miss Quinn."

She started to cry, "It's a joke right? Just one of his jokes…"

"No, not this time."

"It's just a joke! It is!"

"I'm sorry Miss Quinn, he called me before he…well he got a hold of me and told me where he was. I got to him just before he passed. He wanted me to tell you something." He listened to her quiet sobs and it hurt his heart, "He told me to tell you to go to the banquet first of all, he wants you to still enjoy the joke, he said raise the kid in his honor…keep em' in line…"

"What else…did he say anything else?" Her voice was quiet and she hid under the covers of the bed.

"He said to tell you that the first time he met you, he finally felt his heart beat…and that he loves you. He went after that. I'm sorry Miss Quinn, I have to go."

She closed his phone and then held her tummy. Her throat burned and her eyes stung.

_How could you leave me…with our child…all alone…how?_

"Joker!" She screamed into the pillow, "Puddin'…." Her voice quieted.

"You were going to have the best dad in the whole world…you have no idea." She cried as she spoke to her child, "You were going to be so happy…but now…I don't think you would be happy, not at all." She cried to herself until she was completely exhausted causing her to fall asleep on a drenched pillow.

"Doctor Quinzel, of course I would love for you to come to the banquet, it would be an honor if you could accompany us." Commissioner Gordon spoke proudly to her.

Harley had left the beach house and went back to Gotham, this time however without her beloved prince of crime…harlequin of hate…her Joker… She had explained to Gordon how she escaped, unharmed and managed to break free of his…love for her. He was overjoyed, happy that she was safe. Harley didn't let Gordon know that he had been _killed_. She didn't feel it would be honoring him any if she did.

"Thank you very much, I've always dreamed of going. I hope my asking didn't put you into a bad place?"

"No not at all! Truly I'm happy you want to come. It's a masquerade theme this year, the girls of the department are putting it on, and they felt the need to hide themselves…" He laughed at this and Harley tried to as well.

She only was going for her love. That was all…to respect his wishes to see his final joke. His _final joke_. Harley's eyes welled up and the commissioner had noticed.

"Are you alright?" He handed her a tissue.

"Yes, I'm fine just sometimes…I get a little after shock of what happened to me, you understand."

"Of course…"

"But," She wiped her eyes with the tissue, "I can't wait for the banquet tonight…again I'm sorry for asking on such short notice."

"Not a problem Doctor…no problem at all!" He stood up and Harley followed, "Go home and get ready for the banquet…do you need a ride back home?"

"No, I have a ride thank you."

She left shortly thereafter grabbing a ride from a taxi home.

Harley grabbed a glass of water and shot it down in hurry, she had no idea what she was going to wear.

"Masquerade…"

She saw her jester outfit sitting on the bed neatly folded, it would make Joker proud if she wore it. Besides the only other people that really saw her in it was mobsters and Batman, not like either of those groups was going to be there right?

Harley grabbed it and held it tightly, "I'm going to miss you so much…" she slipped into it, feeling it form graciously to her body.

She decided against putting on the mask, she wasn't ready for that, "I should have never let you go, I'll raise this kid like you would have, show Gotham what they did to you!" Harley cried on her bed for a few hours until it was time to go to the banquet. Maybe his joke would cheer her up…that…or break her down. Harley couldn't decide which one.

She arrived at the banquet and walked in by herself. Instantly everyone who was there positioned their eyes on her in one way or another. Most knew who she was, the doctor from Arkham who had been taken hostage by the Joker. Others stared because of her gorgeous looks in the jester outfit.

Harley arrived at her table and sat down next to the commissioner who had prepared a seat next to him and his family.

"Doctor Quinzel, amazing outfit! I'm glad you made it…please…please sit!"

"Thank you commissioner." She took her seat.

Gordon introduced her to his family they were all so polite, and it made Harley feel ashamed that she down mouthed Gordon. He was actually a pretty nice guy, and had a well behaved gentle family.

After a while of listening to awards being presented, and horrid jokes trying to be made Harley excused herself from the table.

She made her way to the back of the room where a table filled with already prepared drinks was present.

Harley eyed a glass of water and sipped on it, while her eyes scanned across the immense room. People were beginning to stand up and dance with one another…she had never gotten to dance with Joker.

She found a convenient wall and placed her back against it, still carefully sipping the water and eyeing the crowd. She stopped her scanning when she came upon a man who had been staring back at her, his back had also been leaning against wall, however he was on the adjacent wall to hers, a traditional masquerade mask covered all of his face, and he dressed in a slimming black tux. Harley moved her view quickly away from him, but still caught his actions in the corner of her eyes.

He moved swiftly over to her position and Harley swallowed hard when he finally made an introduction to her, "Are you by chance, Doctor Quinzel?" His voice was scruffy and hard to hear due to the mask.

"Yes, a pleasure to meet you." She pushed her hand out but the man didn't take it.

"I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma doctor, it must have been hard I'm sure, being taken hostage by The Joker. The stories you must have about it all…"

"Yes well, I'm trying to forget about my past, and work on my future."

Something Joker had told her to do, forget about the past…she would never forget about him. She vowed she wouldn't…she couldn't…even if he wanted her to, which she was positive he didn't. He was the one good thing in her life, and she was the one good thing in his. _They were made for each other exactly…_

"I'm sorry I meant no harm by bringing it up. I've just always been fascinated by The Jokers work. I don't mean to intrude upon your story." He began to walk away but Harley stopped him.

"Excuse me?"

He turned around, "Yes doctor?"

"What's your name?"

"How rude of me not to introduce myself, would you care to dance perhaps?"

Harley smiled and accepted his offer, "Of course."


	7. Chapter 7

The mask covered man took Harley willingly to the center of the dance floor. The music turned to a song favored dearly by Harley, it was Mozart's fourth symphony and it always brought her spirits up.

"So, your name?" Harley grabbed onto his elbow with one hand and his hand with the other.

"Wayne, Bruce Wayne doctor."

"Aww, the magnificent Mr. Wayne has an interest in The Joker? Why is this?"

Bruce led the two in a waltz dance across the floor, and almost instantly people began to move out of the twos way.

"I find his intellectual status to be alarming quite simply." He spun her around and the crowd clapped and awed.

"Intellectual status, high? Intellectual status low?" Harley questioned as she smiled to her growing audience.

"High, unusually high. The way he thinks, Doctor Quinzel, is truly beyond any word I can dig up. It's fascinating to ponder about."

They circled the perimeter of the floor, both dancing like they were born to.

"I agree, terrifyingly high, almost to the point of him not being called insane, but rather incredibly sane."

Bruce dipped her as the song finished, "Really?" He stood Harley back upright and looked around at the crowd waving as they applauded.

"Quite the dancer I must say Mr. Wayne, thank you I enjoyed it."

"Your quite the dancer yourself doctor, thank you."

Harley began to walk away from the crowd until she heard a voice call from behind her.

"Excuse me."

Harley turned around to see who had called out.

A man also in a masquerade mask walked into the middle of the circle. He, however, wore a dark red suit.

"I believe," He walked forward to where Harley stood, arms crossed in front of her chest, "that I can _outdo_ this fine gentleman's dancing routine…of course with the approval of Doctor Quinzel, that I may borrow her as a partner."

He bowed in front of her and pulled a small flower behind his back presenting it to Harley, "A pretty flower…for the pretty lady?"

Harley blushed as the crowd clapped and hollered for her to participate in the show.

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" The audience chanted rhythmically to her.

She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed the flower. The crowd followed in a series of claps and hoorays.

The new man grabbed her kindly on the hand and waist, "Hungarian Dance Number Five, if you please?"

"No fair! I didn't get to pick my song!" Wayne yelled out to the crowd and they all laughed.

"Tough luck I'm afraid…" The new man didn't take his view off of Harley.

The music started up and the man tapped his foot with the beat and removed his arms quickly from Harley and started to clap his hands also with the beat looking at the crowd indicating them to clap as well. Slowly they began to clap and he returned his hands to their original positions.

The music started over and the audience participated lively this time clapping and stomping their feet, "Ready Doctor Quinzel?"

She nodded and the man instantly took off with her circling in a jive/foxtrot dance style.

He spoke to her during the flawless steps, "My competition dances like he has a brick up his ass."

"Probably a gold brick."

They twirled and trotted to the other side of the floor, where he majestically dipped her, a series of amazed bellows were heard and more clapping became involved. They continued the perfect harmonious steps.

"A gold brick?"

"He is after all Bruce Wayne…"

The man twirled her away from him and then twirled her back still lively moving across the stage, "Ahhh…Bruce Wayne is my competitor?"

"The one and only, and who is his competitor?"

They both seemed to float across the floor arms never seeming to move from their positions.

"This is a masquerade…we aren't supposed to reveal are we? Speaking of which, why doth the lady not have a mask of her own?"

"A good question, although I must inquire to tell you that I am indeed wearing a mask."

The people began to look at the other competitor, Wayne, who was standing close by watching. They gave him a look that told him, 'watch out this guy is good!'

"We are, are we?"

"Yes, you see Doctor Quinzel isn't the true me."

"Ahhh…clever." He turned his head at an angle and nodded.

The music picked up its beat and the man also picked up his step. The crowd roared from amazement.

"Who is the real Doctor Quinzel?"

"This is a masquerade…we aren't supposed to reveal are we?"

"Touché doctor."

The man stopped for a moment while the music played and pulled her in closer, Harley wrapped her arm around his neck as a result. The crowd whistled and cat-called out to the two dancing.

"How about we make a deal?"

"A deal?" Harley asked skeptically.

They moved faster now skipping and prancing and trotting with even greater ease. Screams of excitement swore into their ears.

"Yes, I tell you my name, if you tell me who the _real_ Doctor Quinzel is…"

"Hmmm…"

From the crowd it didn't look like the two were talking, the way they spun and moved so fast was blinding to the audience, however they enjoyed every second of the show.

"Alright, deal." Harley smiled.

The man looked down at her, "So, whose the girl behind the mask?"

"Harley Quinn."

The man dipped her as the music came to an amazing finish, bringing his face inches from hers.

"And who is the man behind the mask?"

He said nothing only lifted up the bottom part of his mask and kissed her lips tenderly. Her eyes closed softly as she endured the beyond a doubt best kiss she ever had, in front of an audience.

The crowd whistled seductively and everyone clapped including the beaten Bruce Wayne.

A new song now came on, one that the whole crowd knew, the Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah, the chooser of the songs obviously had a sense of humor.

Everyone laughed, that is…until the man, dressed in the dark red suit, pulled his mask clean off and tossed it to the side.

He kept his kiss going, as he heard guns being drawn from their holsters and the laughter of the crowd die quickly. He opened his coat up to show everyone that he had a bomb strapped to him, and he now heard those same guns being set onto tables. He released the coat from his hand, but still allowed his hand to linger in the air, orchestrating the music with his fingers while he kissed Harley.

Harley realized that the crowd had fell silent and she opened her eyes slowly to see what was going on.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Was all she could say as she pulled away from the kiss, just enough for Joker to hear her.

"Hello sweetheart!" He kissed her forehead, but she felt disgusted by it.

The two stood up in the middle of the dance floor.

"What the hell are you doing!" Harley shouted.

Everyone took a step back, wondering why she was yelling at the Joker…didn't she know that he could kill her…was she crazy?

"I was just coming to make the punch line jeez!"

Harley slammed her fist on his chest, "They said you got shot! That you were dead!"

Murmurs spread throughout the room, she must be crazy they concluded to themselves.

Joker put his hands in his pockets and listened to Harley, "We have a child on the way and you go and stress me out by faking your death? You make me think that the only person in the world that I could love is gone…and for what? For what? For a joke?" She pushed him and shoved him but he didn't budge.

Joker smiled wide, showing every tooth he had, an eerily dark persona glistening about them, "You love me…huh Harl?" He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

She started to cry and took a few steps back folding her arms once again over her chest.

Joker pushed his head down but kept his eyes on her, raising his eyebrows up high, "Don't leave me hangin' pumpkin pie…"

Harley wiped her eyes and then ran to her prince jumping into his embrace, "Yea I do!"

The crowd gasped and Joker laughed satisfied with the reaction of the punch line, the music still played in the background.

"Put her down Joker."

Harley whispered into Jokers ear for she could see who was behind him, "B-Man, Puddin'."

"Oh Batsy I knew you wouldn't let me down, tell me you saw the joke…tell me you saw it!"

"Unfortunately…"

"Oh great joy!" Joker set Harley down in front of him, who then wrapped her arms around his neck never wanting to let him go again.

Joker raised his arms in the air while he stared at Batman, "See the kiddo just doesn't know how to let go of true love Batsy…it was her choice, just ask her…go on ask!"

Harley felt Joker stroke her hair, she thought she would never be able to feel his warm hand on her body ever again…and now here he was.

"Doctor Quinzel…"

She turned around quickly but didn't let go of Joker, she now stood to his side with her arms wrapped around his red suit, "I told you it ain't Quinzel…it's Quinn…HARLEY QUINN!"

People slowly left without other people knowing, scared that Joker may set of the bomb, or do something drastic, they didn't want to be around when that happened.

Joker laughed, "Well, I'd hate to do this to you Batsy but well, I have a bundle of joy on the way and Harley needs her rest, you understand I'm sure." He flashed his bomb to Batman.

The people screamed at Batman, "Let him go! Just let him go!"

And so he did, painfully, he let them go.

Joker and Harley sat in the car driving home, Loy had picked them up.

"I'm so angry at you Joker! You have no damn idea!"

"Watch your tone Harley…it was a joke get over it!"

"You had me thinking that you were dead…how do you want me to react, say 'whatever he was just the love of my life and I'll get over it in a few?'"

He shook his head, "No…but you were amazing out there cupcake!"

"It was a pretty good joke…"

"I know, and I'm so glad you were apart of it." He held her close in the back seat and kissed the corner of her lips.

"_I_ was it…_I_ was the joke."

Joker nodded and ran his hand over her breast, Harley shivered from it, "Not now…"

He bit his lip, "But that was sooo arousing, sooo fantastic what you did. _Please baby?_ I need you…_I want you_…" Joker pinched her nipple and heard Harley squeal quietly.

"What did I do, that was so arousing." She huffed out.

He kissed her lips and spoke at the same time, "When you said that you did have a mask on…that you were actually Harley Quinn, you gave me a nice hard on sweetness. Do you forgive me?"

She sighed, "Yea…but let's wait for home okay, I've had a rough day…I keep having those."

Joker felt bad in a way, "Of course my little princess. Of course. I'm sorry for worrying your precious little mind."

"I'm just glad your back…" She started to cry, "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Shhhh baby…I'm here now, now bullet wounds, safe and sound. I could never leave you!"

He pushed her head into his chest and Harley curled into a ball while Joker held her.

"What happened…where did you go?"

"Well, I did have a job to go do. You want to know what happened?"

"Yea…"

_He opened one eye and then grabbed the gun rapidly, "What type of gun is that?" His tone high but low._

_The guy jumped back tripping over his own cowardly doings and fell onto his back, scurrying quickly away from Joker._

"_That's a nice gun! Can I keep it?"_

"_Yea…yea sure!"_

_Joker sat up examining the gun, "Sure did pack a punch I ought to say!" He slipped it into his pocket and then stood up._

"_How…how can you be…I just shot you!" The man looked hurriedly for the right words._

"_You're quite the genius I see, and I happen to like the feel of a bullet proof vest. Can you guess what I'm going to do to you?"_

"_Please…no please don't…"_

"_Oh a beggar…I love beggars!" Joker pulled out a knife and jumped closer to the man who positioned himself into the corner of the alley way._

"_You know, that was rude of you to call me out here and all…I was having such a lovely time at home with my harlequin."_

"_I'm sorry." He tried to stay calm._

"_Sorry? You're…you're just plain stupid huh?" Joker slapped the guys face, bringing his knife closely to his throat, "This whole…game…you wanted to play was fun I'll agree…but sadly I see no significant point to it. You need to have a point."_

_Sweat dripped from the mans nose, "Please…just let me go."_

"_But that wouldn't be fun…" His voice lowered substantially as he dug the knife into the mans stomach._

_Joker listened to his screams, his anguish, his pleas, but he didn't stop. He pushed the knife upwards, while still being embedded in his gut, towards his neck. He shivered from glee as he felt the knife hit a few ribs, tear through his intestine, pierce his heart…it felt so good. He pulled the knife out and slit his throat, watching the blood now poor instead of dribble out of him._

"_This is much more fun…" The man lay silent, dead from the agonizing terror and pain, blood rushing out of his open stomach and neck._

_Joker stood up and turned his head at an angle admiring his work of art._

"_Yes…much more fun!" He threw his arms up wildly in the air laughing loudly. The echoes running across the roads and buildings, although, were an invisible and silent matter._

_Killing this man was a complete orgasmic doing to Joker, and it also created some sparks of creativity in his strange and wide mind. He pulled out his cell and wiped some blood off of his coat. He punched in a few numbers and waited for someone to answer._

"_Yes Boss?" Loy had answered._

"_I need you to get in on the joke my good man!"_

"_Yes sir, what do you need me to do?"_

_He laughed darkly, maniacally, and terrifyingly into the phone, "Tell Harley…_that I didn't make it_…"_

"And that's what happened!" Joker concluded as they pulled into the driveway of his 'regular' home.

"So you did get shot!" Her eyes bulged out.

"I went prepared…now enough of all that…I need your sweetness and fast!" He lunged at Harley who laughed as Joker caressed and seduced her playfully.


	8. Chapter 8

"_Harley! Harley! Where are you?" Joker stormed through the front door eyes blaring brimming with complete fury._

"_Harley!"_

"_In here Mistah J…" Joker walked into his bedroom and saw Harley with a rounded and protruding stomach._

_His once empty hand now held a gun and he uncontrollably aimed it at Harley's stomach, "Harley!"_

"_What are you doing Puddin'?"_

_Joker's lips curled up into a mischievous smile, it oozed with rage and power, "Evil is within you…"_

_Blackness…and the sound of his deep laugh._

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_Click, click, click, click, click, click…_

Joker gasped for air when he woke up, his eyes wide and concerned. He sat up quickly trying to catch his breath, his eyes trying to wake up from the abrupt scare.

"Harley!" He shook her arm violently, "Harley!" Joker screamed at the top of his lungs.

She jumped and sat up as well rubbing her forehead, "What? What's going on?"

"Are you alright?" He lifted her shirt up to look at her stomach, no bullet wounds were present.

She gave him a puzzling stare, "What?"

His jaw trembled first, and then the shaking traveled rapidly to his whole body. He threw his hands up to his face.

Harley grabbed his shoulder, "What happened?"

"I…I can't tell you." His voice was also shaky.

"Hey, yes you can. You can tell me anything." She tried to comfort him.

"I don't want to tell you…" He still hid his face in horror.

"Baby, was it a bad dream?" Harley rubbed his back.

Joker pulled his knees up to his chest, he started to hyperventilate.

"Shhh…calm down." Harley pulled his body into hers, but he gently pushed her away.

"I don't want to hurt you." He stood up from the bed and grabbed his pillow before retiring to the bathroom.

He placed the pillow in the tub and then got into it, positioning himself into a tightly wound ball.

Harley stood in the bathroom arch way watching Jokers actions as well his trembling body, "What happened in your dream?"

Joker didn't answer her so Harley knelt down beside the tub, "Baby please, tell me what happened."

He felt her place a hand on his back, "Harley…" His voice was so distant.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She rubbed his back in a circular motion, "I'm right here."

Joker turned over but he didn't look at Harley, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? It was just a dream sweetie." She reached out and grabbed his hand.

He took a deep breath and then let it escape slowly.

Harley watched him close his eyes, "You want to take a bath?" She shook his hand tenderly.

Joker opened his eyes and nodded to her. They were heavy and sorrowful.

"Alright, get out for a second okay?"

He swallowed and got out, rubbing hard against his scalp with his fingers. He watched Harley turn on the water and add bubbles, he smiled when she did that.

Harley turned around to notice him smiling, not his trademark grin but at least it was a start. She walked up to him and patted him on the chest, "I'll be right back okay sweetie?"

Joker stared down at her, "Okay."

When Harley left, Joker took another deep breath and then undressed himself. He entered the warm water and sunk below it, his means of taking in oxygen denied.

He thought to himself while he felt the water creep up his nostrils.

_I could kill myself right now. Not have to worry about…that dream ever happening. What if I turned into the monster my father was? What if I killed Harley, and my child? What if…_

A hand stroked his cheek while he was under the water and he reemerged from the depths.

Harley stroked his hair back along his head, "You feel like talking about this dream?"

"No."

"Alright…I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice you understand."

Joker eyed her and then she revealed a sugar cookie from behind her back. He reached for it but Harley pulled it back.

"Ah ah ah…tell me what happened in the dream first, and then I'll give you the cookie."

He squinted his eyes at her, "That's just wrong."

"Your choice."

His breathing had returned to normal and the shakiness now only resided in his fingers, and he really wanted that cookie.

"Is their any other way we can go about this?"

Harley smiled and rubbed his neck, "Bribery is the only way I see you spilling this dream that's gotten you so worked up. Honestly I've never seen you like this before, just tell me."

"Can I have the cookie and tell you at the same time?"

"I'm such a softy, here." Harley handed him the cookie and she could see Joker smile as he shoved it into his mouth.

"I…I came home from somewhere, I don't know where. I kept calling out for you, screaming for you. I found you in the bedroom and you were just standing there as sweet as ever. You were pregnant, far along too, doing nothing wrong. I yelled at you and then a gun appeared in my hand…"

Joker's voice started to become shaky again.

"It's okay baby, it's okay." Harley rubbed the back of his neck as he started again.

"Then I aimed it at your stomach, and said…" His breathing became rapid again, "Evil is within you…and then I shot…and shot…and shot. I laughed. I laughed Harley. How could I have laughed?"

"Oh, sweetie." She reached over the tub edge and hugged him, not minding the water soaking into her clothes, "It was just a dream."

"But what if snap like my father did, what if I do something like that to you and the baby?" His voice cracked.

"You aren't going to do anything like that I promise." She kissed his wet hair.

"You don't know that though, I'm already…"

"Joker!" Harley spoke sternly.

He looked up at her wet blue eyes.

"Enough, please! You aren't going to do anything like that. Okay? I promise."

Joker smiled at her, "Okay."

"I love you so much." Harley kissed Joker on the forehead and then sat to the side of the tub.

Joker pushed his hand out of the still water and opened it for Harley to take, she noticed his gesture and she placed hers willingly into his. They held onto one another's hand as they spoke.

"Why do you love me?" Joker asked as he closed his eyes.

"Because you're so…random."

"I'm random hmm, and you like that? How am I random?" He looked over at her.

"Well for one, how the hell did you learn to dance like that?"

"One of mom's ways to get me out of the house was to enroll me into dancing classes. I didn't like them really at first but then I got used to it. It was better than being at home anyways."

"You're really good at it, and the finale was spectacular, the way you dipped me and then kissed me in front of everyone." She laughed a little now, "They cheered us on, until you took off your mask."

"You honestly didn't know it was me?"

"I had no clue, well that kiss was pretty familiar, but up until then no. I was told that you were gone, I believed it."

"I'm sorry for that sweetie." Joker squeezed her hand a tad and then released the squeeze.

"I told you I'm over it, you're here and that's all that matters now. Anyways like I was saying, the whole fiasco was somewhat romantic in a way."

"I'm glad you took it that way." He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

"Taking Bruce Wayne on like that, kicking his ass down, complete sexiness. That's a real man for ya Brucie!"

Joker laughed, and it felt good.

"Oh yea, how did you know about that type of music, I didn't take you for the type to listen to classical?"

"It's the only thing I do listen to."

"It was the perfect song! Truly demonstrates us and our relationship."

"That's why I picked it sweet Harley, the ups and downs of the relationship."

"I love when you call me that…" She leaned her head towards him and he leaned in as well.

The two sides of their heads met, "Do you?"

"Yes, very much so." Harley turned her head in towards Jokers cheek and kissed it, "You gonna be okay?"

"With you here, my sweet, I think I'll be just fine." He kissed the tip of his finger and then touched her lips with it, "Thank you Harley."

"I told you Mistah J, I'm always here for you. I want you to talk to me."

Joker smiled at her, "I want that body of yours."

"Yup you're going to be just fine." Harley laughed.

"Why don't you hop in here with me Harley, and keep me some company?"

"Puddin', I'm tired…" She rubbed her nose against his neck.

"Just…lay in here with me, I'm not asking for you to do anything, I just want to hold you."

Harley stood up letting go of his hand, "And you say you aren't cute."

"I'm not…"

She shook her head and undressed herself, Joker slid over to let her in.

Harley sighed as Joker wrapped her up in his embrace, "Hey Harley, guess what."

"What?" She smiled into his chest.

Joker whispered into her ear, "I'm going to be a dad."

"That's what I hear." Harley swirled a part of his hair with her finger, when she released the lock it stayed in a curled position.

"When I thought you were gone, I bought a home pregnancy test just to be sure you know."

"You don't trust me?"

"No! I just wanted to be sure."

"What were the results?" He grabbed her chin and played with it.

"Positive!"

"I hope it's a girl Harl, but of course of it's a boy I'll love em' just the same."

Harley kissed his nose, "Cute…"

"I am not!"

"Okay fine…" Harley rubbed his chest.

They were silent for a few passing seconds, "I'm adorable!" He spoke deeply into Harley's neck.

She laughed as Joker tickled her body underneath the water.

"Stop!" Harley gasped for air between her laughs.

"No way, hearing you laugh is so much fun doll face!" He tickled and ran his fingers faster across her body.

Harley flailed her limbs about trying to stop him causing water to splash out of the tub.

"Baby stop it! Mistah J!" Her shrieks of excitement made Joker smile.

He positioned himself on top of her and then continued his 'torture' to Harley.

"Stop! I have a cramp in my foot!" She pleaded this time and Joker stood up in the tub pulling her up as well.

They stepped out and Joker laid her down on the floor of the bathroom, immediately kneeling down by her feet, "Which one Pooh?"

Harley lifted her right foot up into the air, "This one!" and she pushed Joker in the chest with it, causing him to fall over onto his back.

She jumped on top of him and started tickling him now, "Gotcha!"

Joker laughed hard as he felt Harleys fingers travel to his sides, "No! Not there! Anywhere but there!"

"I found your one true weakness! Tickles in the sides!"

"I have a far more complex weakness than that!" He managed to speak between laughs.

"Tell me or the armpits get it!"

"Never!" He pushed his head back as if in total agony.

Harley reached for his armpits and tickled madly into them, enjoying the smile on her Puddin's face.

"No…no! Okay! Okay stop, I'll tell you!"

She pulled her fingers away but was ready to strike again if he had made a choice to stay quiet.

"Okay…" He caught his breath, still quietly laughing.

"Tell me or it's the feet next bub!"

Joker laughed lightly, "You…you wouldn't dare…" His eyes darkened and smile widened.

Harley turned her head down towards him, "Try me…"

They stared at one another for a moment then Joker gave in, "Fine…"

He pulled himself up towards Harley noses almost touching, propping himself up with his elbows, "You're my one true weakness."


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Harley!"

She looked up from a book she had been reading, "Yes?"

"Look at me! Weeeeee!"

Harley was now two weeks into her pregnancy and she smiled as she watched Joker swing higher and higher on the swing set, she sat with her legs crossed in traditional everyday clothing.

She pondered what it was about him that made her fall so madly in love with the guy. The boy like charm? The hysterical laughter fits he had for seemingly no reason at all? The fact that he had been deemed as a psychotic murdering clown? All of the above?

_Had to be…_

"Very nice Puddin'!" Harley closed her book and set it down next to her on the bench.

"How far do you think I can jump?"

She smirked, "I don't know but be careful…"

"I bet you…that I can jump to that little stick over there." Joker pointed to a stick as he swung back.

"That's pretty far, I don't know...what are the terms of this bet?" Harley put her hands in her coat pockets, the coldness eating her bit by bit.

Joker laughed, "You tell me what you got me for Christmas if I can, and I'll give you a present right now if I can't."

She tilted her head to the side grinning, "Alright."

He stuck his tongue out the corner of his mouth and concentrated on his target, legs pushing and pulling through the air to get a quicker speed.

Harley watched his demeanor and laughed.

Once he was satisfied with the momentum he jumped from the swing seat. He landed on his heels and then swung his arms in large circles to regain his balance, but he fell backwards shortly after.

Joker looked at the stick, he was a mere inch from it, "Damn!"

"Nice jump Mistah J, but now keep up the bet." Harley snickered to herself.

He smiled darkly at her, "Okay Harl…" Joker jumped up and ran to a small creek that ran through the park perimeter.

Harley eyed him suspiciously as he came back to her with his hand closed, obviously hiding something within them.

"Here you go baby!" He leaned in towards her while he stood in her view.

"I don't want what ever you just picked up from that creek." She couldn't help but laugh.

"But I picked it out just for you…"

Harley looked at his falling smile and sighed, "Okay…"

Joker then revealed his other hand which also was closed, "Pick one."

She glanced at his eyes and then returned her attention to the decision she had to make. Harley pointed to Jokers left hand, "That one."

Joker opened it eagerly, and inside was a small purple colored flower.

"Awww, I love it!" She took the flower and placed it behind her ear, "How do I look?"

"Pretty damn hot sweetie."

"What's in your other hand?" Harley motioned to the closed fist at Jokers side.

He put his hand to the ground and opened it a small creature ran out, "A lizard!" Joker gleefully marveled at his capture scurry off.

"You were going to give me a lizard?"

"Yea! But you picked that measly old flower instead, bummer you chose my left hand huh…"

Harley shook her head, "Yea real bummer."

Joker noticed her shake from the cold, "Come here."

Harley stood up as Joker took off his purple coat and wrapped it around her body. Instant warmth shot through her.

"Better?" Joker held her close, resting his chin on top of her head, and felt a small nod on his chest.

He picked her up in his arms and took her to the swing. Joker sat down in the seat and positioned Harley comfortably on his lap.

"Damn Harley I'm so lucky to have you in my life." He swung the two of them softly, his arms wrapped around his harlequin, "I don't know how I survived life up until I met you."

Harley closed her eyes and smiled, "What day did we conceive?

Joker stroked her nose with his index finger, "December first I believe."

"So then that means that our due date would be…" She paused trying to calculate the date.

"August twenty-fifth." He answered quickly, "And it's only been two weeks."

"Only another thirty-eight weeks to go!" She laughed.

He looked lovingly down at her.

"I hope the baby has your eyes Puddin'…"

"It's getting late, we should probably head home. Lot's of weirdo's hanging around at this time." He laughed softly.

Harley, instead of getting up from Jokers lap, straddled him, wrapping her legs around his waist, "I love you…you're just a big ol' softie under that tough exterior you shield yourself with."

"A big ol' softie eh?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck as Joker began to swing with greater intensity now that he had access to the swing chains.

"Yea, I think you lie about killing people…" She joked with him, "You only say you do."

Joker felt her head press into his neck as he swung, "Possible…but not probable, you have seen me kill quite a few people remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"It excites you doesn't it?" He asked after a short pause.

"Excite?"

"When I kill people, it exhilarates you." Joker swung harder, "To see the power I have over people…no concern for them, it exhilarates…excites you."

"Is that bad?" She dug deeper into his neck.

"No, not at all. It pleasures me to know that it does."

Harley removed her face from its hiding spot, looking straight on at Joker, "How did you know?"

"I know a lot about you Harley…things even _you_ don't know." It seemed like darkness lived in his voice.

Harley eyed him suspiciously, "Like what?" She had removed her arms and now placed them on the chains.

He only smiled as a black shadow crept onto his white face. He closed his eyes slowly and fell backwards letting go of his grasp on the chains. Harley squeezed around his waist with her legs making sure he didn't fall, both still swinging back and forth at a steady speed.

"Like what?" Her voice slightly more stern.

Joker laughed deep at first, but allowed his tone to lighten eerily. It echoed loudly around them.

Harley stared at the underside of his chin, watching his throat ripple from the laugh, noticing his arms dangling around his head, "What?" She asked again.

The swinging came to a stop but he still laughed.

Harley was confused and angry, "Hey!"

Jokers laughing came to an abrupt halt and he lifted himself back up to her, "Watch it…"

Her anger ridden face dulled down to that of a frightened complexion.

He smirked at her while he reached up to her chin and grasped it, "What's with the look doll?"

"What do you know that I don't know?"

"Awww…Harley, you know that wouldn't be much fun if I let you know." He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Yea, well…" Her frightened complexion now turned into adoration.

"You're just a complex little bundle of emotions huh Harl?" He sweetened his tone and slowed his speaking.

She smiled as Joker brushed his lips against hers, "Uh huh…"

"You missed me so much didn't you…" He whispered seductively into her ear.

Harley's mouth began to open, but she felt Joker run his finger between his lips and hers.

"You thought I was never coming back…"

Her skin started to prickle from his voice.

"…You did naughty things while I wasn't there _didn't you_ Harl…" His eyes traveled over hers.

"I…I…"

"Shhh…it's okay, I like that you did" His voice travelled lower, "_I love that you did…_"

Harley grinned as her eyes started to daze away.

Joker scratched under her chin his lips brushing against hers as he spoke, "I bet it felt good…"

Her body shivered and trembled with complete desire, her clit urging for more.

"But it wasn't you Mistah J."

He smiled and stuck his tongue out just enough for it to come in contact with her lips, "Yes, I know a lot about you Harl…things you don't even know. In time you'll come to realize them, it'll be our little joke together hmm?"

Joker kissed her as her sex throbbed, "You have no idea how much I love you Puddin'…"

"_Oh, I think I do Harley_…I really do…" He finished his kiss, "Now, let's head home."

Joker lifted her up off of him, "I'll grab your book sweetheart."

"Thanks." She watched him walk proudly over to the bench.

He wore his orange long sleeved undershirt snug around his fit body, his purple bow hanging from the collar, his slacks, purple and incredible. Walking like the world was at his mercy, which it was, he ultimately knew that, Harley knew that, and she loved it.

"Here we are, one…" He looked at the title, "whoa."

Harley grabbed the book sheepishly.

"When did you get that?" He looked at her completely in shock.

She smiled back at him, "You don't know everything about me Joker…" She turned to walk away but felt him lovingly grab her elbow.

"When I was gone?" His dark tone vanished.

"Maybe…or maybe I got it when I went to get your beloved groceries."

Joker held her hand compassionately as they walked towards the car, "Do you…like that kind of stuff?"

Harley shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm a little concerned about that book Harl."

"Why is that?" She turned to look at him while they walked.

"Well…I don't find it appropriate." He toughened up his speech, trying to sound like authority.

"It's just a book."

Joker squeezed her hand, "I don't like you reading it Harley."

"Joker, it's just a book…please."

He let go of her hand and stroked her shoulder, "I don't want you to read it anymore."

"Are you serious? It's just a book about…"

"Shh!" He searched around to see if anyone was listening in, "Don't talk about it out loud!"

Harley stopped and laughed at the expression on his face, "Geesh…I love you…" The two continued to walk.

"I love you too pumpkin, but…stop reading that okay?"

She shook her head, "I don't see what the problem is, it's just a normal everyday book."

"Everyday book? Harley! You mean to tell me you read these kinds of books all the time?"

She couldn't help but laugh harder now.

"This isn't funny, even to me it isn't!"

"To me it is."

The two got in the car and left for home.

"Seat belt Pooh…"

"Oh." She buckled herself securely.

"Let me see that book."

Harley handed it to him and watched him flip through the pages.

"It has pictures! I can't believe this!" He handed the book back to Harley shaking his head in disapproval.

"Baby honestly, everyone does it." Harley smiled brightly.

"I don't want to know. Hey, I don't do it!" He protested.

Harley turned the heater on, "I could understand why you don't."

She listened to him breath heavy in disgust.

"If it makes you feel any better, I just read it for knowledge…I wouldn't dream of following through with it, especially now that I'm with you."

"Then throw the piece of crap away!"

Harley tossed the book onto the back seat, "You know, it actually could do you some good if you read some of it…"

"How could you even think of such a loathsome and dirty idea Harl? Really what's gotten into you?"

Harley rubbed her stomach, "It's completely natural, everyone is destined to do it whether they want to or not."

"I'm steering clear of that fate…and I hope you do to."

"Enough about the book, I promise I won't read anymore of it alright?" She patted Jokers knee.

"Promise?"

"I won't read, Becoming an Adult anymore."

He smiled, "Thank you. How about some classical tunes?"

Harley switched the CD player on. Classical music poured out of the speakers.

"What's this song called?" Harley asked.

"Lacrimosa by Mozart." He reached over to Harley and placed his hand carefully on her knee.

"It's…so sad." Harley listened to the song, it consisted of so much pain, so much fury, agony…desire.

The song ended after a few minutes and Joker glanced over at her, "Are you crying?"

She lifted her hand to her face to feel a series of tears she hadn't realized were there, "Yea…"

Joker turned suddenly into a parking lot and parked the car, he pressed the back button on the player for the song to repeat.

"Kiss me Harley."

"What?"

"Kiss me now!"

Harley obliged, leaning across towards him. His hands rubbed her neck as he kissed her deeply. Harley listened to the music as it swirled inside of her causing a series of tears to pour once again, "I don't want to listen to this song…"

Joker pulled away, "Listen to it!" He pressed the back button again.

"Please!"

"You're the only one I've ever known to understand this piece Harley…listen to it…tell me what you think is happening…"

Tears fell hard, "They're begging for mercy…"

"I listen to people beg for mercy…repeatedly." The song finished now and Joker held Harley close to his chest, her tears soaking into his shirt, "You won't ever have to go through that Harley…my sweet Harley…I promise you won't."


	10. Chapter 10

"But baby…" Joker was lying on his side of the bed, looking at Harley.

"No…tomorrow okay?" Her back was towards him.

"But that's such a _long_ time pumpkin!"

Harley sighed, "Think of it as a Christmas present."

Joker reached to the small of Harley's back and stroked it with his index finger, "Can I think of it as an _early_ Christmas present?"

"You can think of it that way, but you aren't getting any sex from me until tomorrow."

He pulled his finger away and tucked his hands between his cheek and pillow, "Harley…I'm cold."

"Grab an extra blanket Puddin'."

Joker pulled a hand out and rubbed Harley's shoulder, "Can't I use you as a means for extra warmth?"

Harley scooted herself backwards towards Joker, he snuggled graciously into her, "Better?"

"Mmmmhmmm." He wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her stomach.

"Don't get any ideas Mistah J."

"Sweetie, who do you take me for? I would never do such a thing…" He massaged her arm now as he spoke into the back of her neck.

"I take you for a man who likes to have sex."

Joker pushed his leg between hers, "Can you blame me, I've known you for more than three months and we've only had sex three times, once a month isn't going to satisfy my needs of your delicious body."

"What will satisfy your needs?"

He pushed the hair away from the back of her neck and kissed seductively, "Three times a day."

"Three times a day?"

"Your just so beautiful doll face, you get my boxers in a bunch every time I look at you."

Harley pushed him away with her elbow, "I told you not tonight Mistah J."

Joker fell back to his pillow in mere defeat, but he quickly thought of another plan. He leaned over to his side of the bed and pulled out a whoopee cushion from under it.

"Hey Harley?" His voice playful and light.

She turned over and watched him dangle the whoopee cushion from side to side in the air, "How is that going to make me want to have sex?" Harley couldn't help but laugh.

"I could…show you?"

"You can show me tomorrow." She flipped back over quietly laughing.

He tossed the cushion behind him and pouted his lips, cleverly trying to whip up another plan. Joker then moved back towards Harley and traced his finger tip along her cheek.

"Is that a new perfume you're wearing Harl?"

A brief pause, "Yes."

"It smells nice sweetie." He took his finger away from her cheek and flipped over, bringing the blanket up to his cheek, "Good night my sweet Harley."

She furrowed her brow and then turned herself over to only see Jokers back. She pressed her lips tightly together and then crawled over to him pushing her leg now, between his, her arm sensuously wrapping around him and being placed on his chest.

Joker placed his hand on hers, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." He felt Harley bury her face into his back, "I just wanted to cuddle."

"Oh okay pumpkin!" He closed his eyes smiling, "That perfume, correct me if I'm mistaken but isn't that…Angel?"

Harley kissed the back of Jokers neck, "Yea, how'd you know?"

"I'm a genius!" He played his part perfectly.

"Yea you are, come here Puddin'!"

Joker turned around a bright smile on his face, "Aww, Harl!" He received a plethora of small kisses on his neck and cheek.

"You're my one and only Mistah J!"

He kissed her lips and started to take off her shirt but Harley stopped him, "But, I'm still not going to have sex with you tonight. Night Puddin'!" With that she flipped back over.

Jokers smile vanished and he accepted his defeat, however he still wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed the stomach that held his future child, "You're such a damn tease Harley…"

"You love it." She laughed.

"That doesn't mean you have to constantly do it. You're belly is starting to protrude if you feel it right."

"Really?" She shot her hand to her stomach and together the two felt the slight protrusion starting to form.

"Can you believe we're going to be parents! I'm going to be mother of The Jokers child, weird huh?"

"Everyone thinks I forced you." Sorrow lingered lightly around his voice.

"You didn't…that's what matters. Who cares what other people think?"

Joker shook his head, "You're right."

"You know we only have to wait thirteen more weeks until we can tell the gender!"

"I could tell right now if I wanted to." Joker leaned over her and kissed her stomach.

"What?" Harley looked down at him, he was rubbing his cheek against her tummy.

"I can find out right now…but I don't want to, it's too dangerous."

"What do you do to find out?"

He looked up at her still caressing her belly, "It's similar to amniocentesis, but there is too much risk involved and I'm not going to risk your life or the bundle in here." He kissed her stomach again.

Harley combed her fingers through his hair, "I love you Joker."

Joker closed his eyes as he felt Harley twirl her fingers throughout his scalp, he rested his head gently on her listening to the sounds her stomach made.

"I'm going to be a _dad_ Harley. A dad…what if the kid doesn't accept me?"

"Baby, our child will accept you."

"What about schooling? What about friends, I can't send my kid to a public school."

"Home school."

"Who will teach em'?" He kissed her belly softly around the 'J' cut.

"Don't worry, we'll find someone we can trust." Harley reassured him.

"I'd teach em' but I'd be gone too much…I'm going to have to try to be home more often too."

Harley giggled, "Stop stressing about all this, it will work out Mistah J."

Joker smiled and crawled up Harley's body making his way to her lips, "Hey…"

"What?" She laughed as he brought his lips to hers.

"You said that you would fuck me on Christmas…"

"That I did, your point?" Harley raised an eyebrow.

"Merry Christmas Harl, its twelve thirteen…"

Harley sighed heavily as she looked over at the clock. Its bright red numbers read 12:13, "I was going to anyways…"

Joker waggled his brow at her, "Really?"

"Maybe, depended on if you were a good boy or not."

He seemed to tremble at her words, "Was I good boy?" He hovered above her.

"Surprisingly."

"Then do I get my present?" He licked her with his long tongue.

"Nope."

Joker pulled away from her, "Why the hell not?" He seemed frustrated.

"I wanted you to be a bad boy."

He turned his head at an angle, his eyes darkening by the second, "Well, well, well…that can easily be arranged."

Harley smiled, "Nah, I'd rather go open up our presents."

"You'd rather go open up presents than have a blissful session with me?"

"I want you to see what I got you." She kissed him quickly and rolled out from underneath him.

Joker stayed in his position hanging his head in defeat once again, "Seriously your teasing is getting out of hand sweetheart."

The two sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, which was burning quite warmly. A Christmas tree sat to the left of their view.

Harley handed Joker a wrapped box, "Merry Christmas Mistah J!"

He held the box with both hands, "It's been so long since I got a gift from anyone…well a gift that wasn't deadly anyways. This isn't deadly is it?"

"No…" She laughed, "Go on open it."

Joker tore at the wrapping paper and revealed a PlayStation Portable, "No way!"

"Do you like it?"

Joker jumped up and down on the couch, "It has buttons! Of course I like it! Now I won't have to be bored waiting for jobs to start!"

"I'm glad you're happy." She smiled warmly still watching him prance about.

He stopped after a few moments and snuggled into Harley on the couch, "You simply are the greatest Harley."

She patted his head warmly.

"Here Pooh…" Joker jumped down and retrieved a gift from underneath the tree, he handed it to Harley.

"Thank you." She tore off the paper and a small white box was present.

She looked over at Joker who was tediously trying to open the box to his gift, Harley shook her head smiling as she removed the lid. Inside was a 14k white gold diamond heart necklace. Harley pulled it out and examined it, on the inside area of the heart was a small diamond carved out as a _J+H_.

"I love it…it's so beautiful."

Joker set down his box and looked at Harley, "Yea?"

"Yes silly! Help me put it on."

Joker grabbed the necklace and fastened it securely. He turned her around to see how she looked in the new jewelry, "Wow…"

Harley scooted herself closer to Joker as he reached out to kiss her.

"You look fantastic in it pumpkin."

"Thank you so much! I'll never take it off…It's the best gift I've ever gotten."

Joker brushed her hair with his fingers, "Does that mean you're going to give me one of those 'blissful sessions'?"

She laughed and slapped him on the chest, "Jeez…"

"What? Their really good!"

Harley grabbed the pendant of the necklace and rubbed it with her thumb as she stared at his eyes, "You're a dork."

"Your dork…" Joker pulled a large box from behind him and presented it to Harley.

"Another gift?" She took it tentatively.

He nodded, "Open it."

She kissed his forehead and then opened the box, "This is amazing!"

Harley pulled out the contents, it was a long red and black dress. Elegant black shoulder straps and ripples throughout.

"Put it on for me will you?" Joker stood up helping Harley to her feet.

Harley went back up stairs to put on the dress and when she returned Joker was gone.

"Puddin'? Mistah J?" She twirled around looking for him, but still there was no sight or a mere glimpse of him anywhere.

"Joker?"

"Out here Harl!"

Harley was captivated by a sudden burst of faint lights from the backyard; she went to it like a moth.

"Oooo…heya hot stuff!" Joker grabbed her waist.

"Sorry I'm taken." She smiled.

"I won't tell…" Joker led her to a large dance floor, and although it was bitter cold out, snowing and all, they were both perfectly warm together.

"Aww, but I will."

Joker curved the left side of his smile up, creating a shadow that covered his mouth, "You've got moxie too." He held her in a dancing pose in the middle of the floor.

"I learned from the master."

He snapped his fingers and music started to play, "The Joker I may presume?"

"The one and only."

"I hear the guys a real psycho…sociopath…crazed monster." He held Harley close as the two started to twirl, dancing together as one.

"Pssh…can't be, he's too big of a sweetie."

"To each his own."

"I would know, I am his doctor." She looked up into his eyes, seeing herself in the reflection of the purple hues.

"Oh, kinky…"

Harley couldn't help but laugh loudly, "Kinky?"

"You know the whole doctor patient bit…some people really get off on that kind of stuff, it being against the 'code'."

Harley rested her head into his chest and laughed hard, "We don't do much…"

"_Tell_ me about it." He spoke as if in exhaustion.

She looked back up at him, "Thank you for the dress, it's very nice."

"Harley, when I look at you, everything in life just seems to vanish. All I see is your perfect self, trying to please me and _tease_ me, and to make me happy." He held her tighter, "I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present than having you right here with me…I didn't believe in God until you let me kiss you that night in your apartment. Someone up there" He looked up at the sky, the snow falling on his face, "is watching out for me. And whoever it is, they must be a real weirdo."

"Major weirdo…" She looked up as well quietly laughing.

Joker glanced down at her, "You're so beautiful, I could slit your throat right now…"

Harley met with his eyes, "I love you too Mistah J."


	11. Chapter 11

Joker applied the warm gel onto Harley's stomach, smoothing it across her navel and 'J' cut. He noticed Harley had her beautiful eyes closed, it bothered him, but she had been so tired lately. Being four months along in her pregnancy, she was beginning to become somewhat drained, and also beginning to become tiresome of Jokers humor and antics.

Like just yesterday, Joker reflected to himself, he had been talking with Harley about the pregnancy, and how she was feeling. It had just been a minor little joke, just an itty bitty one and she lashed out.

"Hey Harl," He had just returned back from a small caper involving some not so small amounts of explosives and gasoline, "how ya feelin' slugger?"

"I've been out all day trying to find clothes that actually fit, not to mention clothes that will fit me four months from now." Joker noticed her lying down on the couch like an exhausted dead heap, eyes heavy, belly beginning to take shape, and an irresistible portrayal of cuteness around her.

"Aww, poor Harley," He removed his coat and purple fedora hat and excitedly rushed to her, "want me to get the lotion pumpkin pie?"

A fatigued node made its way from her, "You're in a good mood, did your plans go well?"

Joker had returned promptly to her side, lifting her shirt up and massaging the lotion into her plumping belly, "Yes, quite well I might add, Batsy didn't show up, but no matter! It was just as splendid without him surprisingly."

"I'm sorry he didn't show up Puddin'." Her voice worn but relaxed.

"Enough about my day, how was shopping? Did you find something at least?"

"Yea," A heavy sigh all the while, "you know I hate it, the more pregnant I get, the more strangers look and smile at me. I just have to ask myself why?"

"Because you're fatter than they are." That was the joke, and he took his beatings like any true joker would.

"Did you just call me fat?" Joker remembered the way those eyes widened so tremendously fast, scary fast. It gave him shivers just thinking about it.

He cleared his throat, "Yes I did, are you going to tell me it's a lie?" That ostensibly didn't help.

"You know, I got a little joke for you _Puddin'_…" Her eyes got really red, not like she was going to cry, but like the true demon within her was finally being let loose, Joker swallowed but kept his chin up.

"I like jokes, lay it on me!"

"What is the most common pregnancy craving?"

Joker had liked the way her voice lightened up a little, maybe she wasn't truly mad with him, just was trying to make him happy with another good joke.

"Well, I don't know Pooh, what is it?"

Then sadly, as Joker reflected briefly once more, that pretty little tone she had when she spoke simply vanished and was replaced with a mockingly dark one.

"For _men_ to be the one's to get pregnant."

Yes, that had been the day before. He had learned that you should not, ever, tease with a pregnant woman. And although his demeanor made it hard, extremely hard, for he was a practical joker, he would rather look miserably awful from not having a good chuckle, than being eaten alive by the comebacks of a pregnant critique.

Today, and he thanked that weirdo in the sky for it, she was pleasant and sweet, just like the Harley he had searched and dug for.

Also today, Harley had begged him that they find out the gender of the child.

"Alright Harley, you look at the screen and wait for a baby to pop up." He tried to make her smile, sadly it wasn't working as of late. She was so tired.

"K Mistah J…"

"You had that juice box I told you to take right?"

She pushed a hand up in the air, showing a thumbs up signal, and then let it drop heavily back to her side.

"You shouldn't be this tired." Joker pushed the transducer into her flesh firmly and began to slide it from side to side.

Harley looked at the screen and was miraculously reenergized as she looked at her child, moving slightly within her womb, "Oh my gosh, can you believe this?"

Joker smiled brightly as he noticed how easy and simple it was to get her to her old charming self. That bright bubbling smile, those perky pink cheeks, and those baby blue eyes all seemed to recover nicely.

He looked up at his child on the screen, half of him and half of Harley, a larger smile creeping neatly into place.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" She had Jokers hand lovingly placed within her own and now squeezed at the question she had presented.

Moving the transducer and rubbing his nose with his elbow, Jokers throat began to burn. How remarkable it was, to know you have someone who loves you. Someone who loves you enough to use themselves as a vessel to bring in the child they would blissfully share together. A child they could call their own, a child whose life was chosen by them, as _equals_? Truly remarkable.

"Mistah J?" Her tone light and airy, just the way he loved.

"That Harley, my sweet Harley, is our baby girl."

He wanted to cry, he actually _wanted_ to cry, but something within him stopped it. He felt Harley tug at his hand and he allowed his attention to break away from the screen.

"A girl?" How he loved that smile on her, so bright and unique.

"Yes. A beautiful baby girl."

His attention turned back to the screen, Harley crying softly from the joy of the message. The look on his face, she thought silently, was different. She had never seen it, it was almost normal. Almost being the magic word, he could never be that, she didn't want him to be that, for Harley loved him the way she had met him back in Arkham. Arkham, that was such a long time ago, now look where they were at in life, starting a family.

A family that would never be normal, no matter how hard they could try, which they wouldn't of course, but even if they did it would never happen.

What had happened to him, he was once so powering over her. Now he had accepted her graciously, allowed her to go out alone and make her own choices, he in fact hadn't hit or choked her in…four whole months.

Four months, that was how long she had been pregnant for. She couldn't help but realize that he would probably, and most likely, do it again. He had used the power of his words during these four months, instead of the power of strength, to influence her and gain the upper hand with her. How genuine of him, how kind of him, how nurturing and unselfish a man he truly was. He had let Harley be, hadn't hurt her physically in a long time, for the sake of the baby. Yes, how unselfish of him.

Harley finished her thoughts about her prince as he began to wipe away the gel on her stomach, "Would you care to accompany me for dinner this evening Harl?"

A perfect smile was created as she was helped up to her feet, "That's like asking a monkey if they know what a banana is, you know I could never refuse a date with you, ya big softie!"

He smiled and then received a warming hug from Harley, "When would you like to leave?" He patted her on the head as he asked.

"Now, I feel awake and ready!"

"It's only four though baby doll." Joker kissed the top of her head.

She felt so much better, completely alive and ready to move about, "Pwease Mistah J, lets go now, we can just talk can't we?"

"Since you said 'pwease'." It was also inconceivably sexy the way she had said it, at least to him it was, it sounded so naïve.

They arrived at the restaurant, it was only known to that of the criminal class. Joker had told Harley to wear something that wasn't to revealing of her pregnancy, even though he had allowed everyone to know, he didn't want to cause a stir. She unquestioningly agreed to his choice.

He also allowed her not to wear her jester makeup, quoting "You'll look like a dumb shit with no purpose if you don't wear your entire outfit, you can't just use pieces of it when you feel like it. However, when at the banquet I thought it was brilliant of your clever little mind to only wear the suit part." And boy how that made Harley giggle in delight.

Joker insisted they sit in a booth, putting Harley and his self on the same side, she being against the wall. He figured it was safer this way, a better way, of knowing no one could possibly grab her without getting through him first. Harley didn't protest in the least, she thought it was romantic the way he protected her.

Not many people were in the restaurant, but when word got out that Joker was finally taking Harley out of 'hiding' and allowing her to be seen with him in the pregnant state, it was all to hard not to come and enjoy a night away from crime, and see the magnificent couple. This, Joker was prepared for, ultimately why he placed Harley where he had.

Group by group more criminals and villains entered, eyeing the two suspiciously and then taking seats preferably closer to them.

Harley noticing the odd glares and small riots breaking out about seating arrangements, consulted to her prince, "Why is everyone staring at us?"

"I told you, it's because you're fat." He patted her knee caressingly.

This time Harley laughed and Joker thanked the weirdo above again for it.

"Seriously though, why all the commotion?" Her eyes traveled across the now immense crowd, tables filling up quickly with notorious villains she had read and heard so much about.

"When two villains get 'together', it's a rather large deal. When those two villains get engaged, it's like the world blew up. When those two villains then receive a joyous message of a child on the way, it's like getting the feeling of finally knowing why we were put into this life. When one of these villains, is The Joker, it's well…never crossed anyone's mind that it could even remotely happen."

Harley nodded, "So, I'm a villain now huh?"

"Pretty much Harl."

They hadn't looked at one another while talking they kept their eyes on the empty seat across from them. Joker chuckled low after a moment, the restaurant completely filled with criminals and villains now.

"Hey Harley, want to see something funny?" His view straight, hands neatly folded underneath his chin, elbows on the table.

"I'm on a date with you, I thought it was a package deal."

Joker laughed slightly louder, the crowd murmuring about how Harley could make the Joker laugh without revealing blood or pain, to them it was quite amazing.

"Do you?" He asked again still in the same pose an incredibly large grin plastered onto his face.

Harley smiled and portrayed the same pose as he did, her smile placed cleanly on her face as well, "Yes, I'd enjoy it I'm sure."

The crowd was lively chatting, about the pairing of course, noisily busying themselves with rumors and chit chat.

But then Joker made the slightest movement, he removed his hands from underneath his chin and placed them slowly onto the table. As a result the entire 'audience' hushed their speaking, to that of a more whispering state.

Harley smirked, "Wow."

"I ain't done yet pumpkin." Joker finally turned his body towards his date, Harley, and carefully kissed her cheek.

An emotion of awe struck every viewer who had witnessed the sacred event. A roller coaster effect of noise, starting low and then rising up high was present in their moments of 'whoa' and 'did you see that?'

Joker pulled away and the two of them laughed within themselves, trying desperately not to unleash the fits of laughter they had located deep within both throats.

"That's hilarious." Harley managed to get her statement out, still trying not to laugh.

Joker rubbed his eyes with his thumbs, "We could do this all night you know, next time we come, I'll bet it would be a bigger crowd."

Harley scooted herself closer to him, "You have quite the control over this audience."

"That I do. I always do, and I always have." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Once again a roller coaster of noise was heard, "What do you want to eat sweetie?"

"I just want a salad." She pushed the back of her head into his chest as he stroked her hair.

The crowd almost clapped in spite of the wonderfully provided show.

"So modest, you sure you don't want anything else my little princess?" A gentle and whimsical whisper into her ear caused her to shake with love.

"Nope, just a salad and a water."

Joker raised his hand up in the air and motioned for someone to come with his fingers, he smiled darkly above Harley, never taking his eyes off of her.

A young man came to them and took their orders rapidly, bursting away when he had finished.

Joker felt Harley rub his stomach, he hadn't realized the intensity of its growl, "You hungry Mistah J?"

"Yes, I suppose so Harl." He then gently slid Harley over to the corner of the booth and grabbed her chin, "I'm hungry for my sweets."

"Not until after dinner Puddin'." A smile she tried to hide brightly shone.

Every single person in the place went dead quiet trying to hear what they were saying, praying to maybe just catch a word of what one of them said.

Harleys smile disappeared as she peered around Jokers view, and towards the people, "That's eerie."

He hated, despised, loathed, how they had taken off Harley's unique smile. He hit his fist forcefully hard against the table and instantly the place gathered in conversation once again.

Harley laughed, "Wow you are quiet the persuader aren't you?"

He wiped stray hairs from her face, "How's my girl in there?" and patted her stomach.

"Proud to have such an amazing dad, I'm sure."

Just then the two were greeted by Two-Face, "Clown! How are ya?"

Joker turned around, "Aw, Harvey good to see you again, we're doing just fine. And yourselves?"

"We've been busy, but I hear you've been busier than we have." He pointed towards Harley and then smiled.

Joker pulled Harley close to him, "That I have, she's quite the handful, but a splendid one at that." He gave her a kiss.

"Sit down Harvey, join us! We're celebrating." Harley motioned for him to sit.

"Oh no but thank you Harley, I just heard that you were here and had to see if what I heard was true." His eyes brightened up, "And from the looks of that stomach I'm sure it is."

Harley smiled, and then looked up at Joker who had been eyeing her oh so sweetly. He broke out of his trance and then looked back to Two-Face, "Would you like to know what we're celebrating Harv?"

"Please tell."

Joker looked over at Harley, those two dazzling blues sparking and glistening from the over head light at the table, "It's a girl, and you're the first to know."

Harvey immediately patted Joker on the back, "Congratulations, and it's quite an honor to be the first." A warm smile from both of his halves, he left soon after.

Joker noticed a man at one of the tables in the restaurant casually.

"You see that guy at the far table over there?" Joker eyed the sitting man with pure intensity.

Harley peeked a look, "The one in the overcoat?"

"Yea, don't you ever go near him. Ever Harley."

"Why? He doesn't look too harmful."

Joker grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly, "Promise me you won't ever go near that guy, at least without me with you." His eyes drooped down a little.

Harley ruffled his hair momentarily, "Okay I promise, why though?"

"Sick bastards a rapist, obsessive compulsive rapist. He'd do it in plain sight in front of everyone if he had the itch too, he's real gone."

She looked closer at the accused man who sat by himself at a far away table. He looked like a large shadow just sipping repeatedly on his drink.

"I used him as henchman for a while, back before I knew you, all he could think about was this woman. Talking about her, drawing her, saying to us he raped her every night."

"That's disgusting."

"None of us believed him, we just thought he was trying to fit in, trying to come up with old war stories. But then I caught him while we were out on a caper."

The same man who had taken their orders now arrived with meals in his hands, he presented them to Joker and Harley and rushed away.

"Will you tell me what happened?"

Joker shoved a piece of his food into his mouth, "No, you don't need to know what happened, just know that he is a vile creature, and I don't want you to ever go near him."

Harley ate her salad, "Okay." She glanced back over at the shadowed man, she could tell he was looking at her.

"Oh shit." Harley heard Joker mumble as he set his silver wear down on the table.

"What?"

"Here we go." He stretched his hands out in front of him and cracked his knuckles.

Harley looked up from the table towards the other guests in the restaurant, she saw a figure moving quickly towards them. A woman, very slender, in green attire, Ivy!

"Protect me will you Harl?" He smiled down at her just as Ivy reached the table.

"What the hell did you do to her Joker?" Her once green eyes were now covered in a blood red hue.

He placed a hand on Harley's lap, "Whatever could you mean Pammy?"

"Hi Ivy!" Harley called out almost invisible however.

"Hi Harley, you know what I mean, she's pregnant what the hell did you do to her!"

Joker placed a fist under his chin, "Well, doesn't that usually involve some thrusting to achieve? Obviously we had a blissful session, not to mention many more after that. Although it did take some amount of time for us to get into the swing of a routine."

"Blissful session?" Ivy seemed disgusted.

"It's what we call it sometimes, cute huh?" Harley blurted out.

Ivy directed her attention to Harley, "He didn't force you did he?"

She shook her head and laughed, "No of course not!"

Ivy sighed, "You better not be creating a joke Joker, or I will personally kill you. Honestly you are such a dog!"

"And you're a bitch, looks like we were made for each other after all Pammy!"

"Excuse me while I go throw up, you be good Harley." She turned away holding her mouth trying to hold back the explosion of her previous meal.

"Bye Red!" Harley waved enthusiastically, "Oh wait!"

Ivy stopped and returned, "Make it quick, I'm not feeling well." She made eye contact with Joker who laughed.

"The baby, it's a girl!"

"Congratulations Harley, really I'm happy for you, but did you honestly have to choose this guy?" Another quick eye contact with him and she threw her hand back up to her mouth again, rushing away to the bathroom.

"I get the feeling she doesn't like me." Joker amused himself.

"Aw, she's just protecting me." Harley cuddled into his side, she didn't want to finish her meal.

"I'll always protect you sweetheart."

Harley reached up and kissed his cheek as he chewed on his food, "I know you will."

Joker tossed his hand up in the air and magically a flower appeared in it, a small purple one just like at the park. He placed it behind her ear.

"A pretty flower, for the pretty lady huh?" She gave him a strangling hug of affection.

"Quite right." He finished his food quickly and threw money on the table, "You ready to go?"

"Yea, you know I love you a lot right?"

Joker stood up from the table and helped Harley out of the booth, "Yes Harley I know you do."

He stood tall and proud behind her, wrapping his arms around her growing waist and then kissed her neck. The crowd loved it, as strange as the show was, they couldn't get enough.

All eyes watched as Joker gently nudged her foreword, walking right behind Harley with his long arms embracing her as if he did truly care for the well being of this, person.

Amazing, as he looked dangerously at the people. A deepening smile on his face, eyes scanning across the room darkly while he dug his nose into Harley's hair and smelled it, giving her a small kiss or two while he was there. A simple warning, this glare, not to ever interfere with them, yes this glare meant trouble. He may have been smiling, but it was ominous, truly dark in everyway possible, passing the tables in a pleased fashion as they made way to the exit.

A simple yet fascinating warning to everyone present, don't interfere, or punishment will follow. It truly _will_ follow.

Each person he looked at was given a different message, a terrifying message full of despair, and each one unique to match with the trouble Joker knew they would most likely commit.

Eyeing one man here, 'I'll slit your throat…'

Another man across the way, 'I'll snap your neck…'

A small woman silently sitting, 'I'll strangle you with your own intestine…'

Every eye he came in contact with received a special message, a very unique and special message. They should be honored, as Joker thought, that they receive such treatment from him, being able to have their very own way of torture if they should ever come between him and his sweet Harley. He would kill them without a second thought, he most certainly would. He begged them to try it, just one, right now, right here, in front of everyone. That way they could see he was serious, even behind his now growing fit of maniacal laughter.

The best part, yes the best part of this, was that Harley would ultimately accept it with open arms. Open arms as wide as the horizon, because he knew just how much Harley loved him, how far she was willing to go for him. How far? Oh, as far as he would ask, or rather demand. Joker had worked her mind so well, so right just for him. But note, that he did not change her, no their had been no need for that, he just had to manipulate her thoughts into that of what she once was, when she was younger.

And it had been so damn easy.

All in all, he truly did love her. He didn't lie to himself about that, he loved her so much. She knew that, he knew that, but the people around him couldn't come to terms with that. How could it be, Joker thought about what the people were thinking, that a small and fragile person such as her, his magnificent well balanced Harley, fall in love with such a psychopath?

It made him laugh louder.

He had the answer, a delicious answer at that, but he kept it closed in his imaginatively large mind for now. He wanted to share it, wanted to express the witty solution to the riddle, but that of course would be just too Riddler. It was just too priceless to see the looks on everyone's faces, all in awe and total astonishment as they walked.

Suddenly though his creative juices began to flow, pulsing throughout his body, inside of every dark vein he had. What if, just what if he were to hurt Harley? Just a mere slap across the face, a slight chocking of the neck, maybe perhaps banging her head into the glass window, would they question the love they had for one another even more? Would their faces be just too joyous to miss? He had to do it, he must do it, but he wouldn't. Not when she was pregnant, he couldn't do that.

But he couldn't help to ponder…what if?

What if he did do this? It had to be great, it must be. For Joker knew that if he did hurt Harley, she would without a doubt open her arms wide like that horizon and embrace him with love. He had to hurt her, just to see the reactions on all of his fellow pupil's faces. They would be in shock to see that even though Joker hurt her, she would unendingly come back to him with even greater joy and utmost love for him. But he wouldn't while she was pregnant, he would wait patiently.

His eyes still warned the people who sat while they made way for the exit. Joker had opened the door for them, but not before coming across the eyes of the OCD rapist he had warned Harley about. He had a smug smile on his face, Joker felt anger rise through him.

How dare he even look back at him, how dare he make eye contact with his very being, and how dare he glance at Harley. That was what really set him off, while Joker had sent a message of warning to this shadowy man in the corner of the room, Joker had noticed how his eyes trailed off towards Harley.

He had no right to be looking at _his _Harley, and Joker decided to take care of the matter appropriately.

"Harley wait here." His voice commanding and in charge.

Joker didn't wait for her to respond as he swiftly made his way to his victim, whose smug smile now began to fade.

"Mistah J?"

"Not now Harley." He was far away from her but could still hear her perfect voice.

He was fifteen feet away from the victims table when this shadowy man stood up and scrambled away for his life. He had known what he did was wrong, it made Joker smile.

"Where do you think you're going hmm?" Joker pulled out a switch blade, grabbing the mans collar before he could get away.

The room was silent, all eyes on the show. Joker loved it.

"What did I do to you?" The man pleaded already, questioning and wondering what could have provoked Jokers such unpredictable behavior.

Joker only leaned closer to his ear, pressing the tip of the knife on his victims nose, "You gave my girl a look you see, and you waited until I looked at you to do it. That's low…"

This man now whispered to Joker, "She's pretty damn fresh looking, figured I'd give her a look over before I drew her…"

Joker dug his thumb into the man's throat, "You want to know how I'm going to kill you?"

Silence between them.

"No? Let me tell you." Blood started to seep as Joker pushed harder into his throat with his thumb a squishing noise heard only between them.

"I'm going to bash your skull in, and watch your brain drain out."

Joker lifted him up and slammed his head hard against the wall, repeatedly over and over. A large blood spot started to appear where his head was coming in contact with the wall.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Joker screamed loudly as other criminals began to stand up and prepare for a fight if one broke out.

"Looking at my girl with your pathetic mind." He finished his bashing, letting the man lay in a bloody mound on the floor.

Joker looked around and saw Harley, who had been standing right where she had been told to stay.

_What a good girl…_

She wore a small smile, how perfect in everyway possible. Harley knew why he had to do this, why he had to kill this man.

He brought his attention back to the bloody mess, "Someone should clean that up, bad news if the health department shows up."

Joker hopped over the dead man, bits of brain scattered about the area. When he reached Harley he smiled proudly.

"Told you I'd protect you sweetheart." Saying it loud enough for the room to hear, which was still deadly silent.

Harley pushed her arms into the inside of his coat and gave him a hug, "Thank you that was very sweet."

His smile shone brightly as Harley kissed him lovingly. When she had finished giving him his prize for protecting her, Joker turned back to the people in the room.

Not one person dared to lay an eye on them.

He laughed loudly and triumphantly as they began to exit, "This is Harley, you've been warned!"


	12. Chapter 12

The two returned home shortly after the restaurant ordeal, both tired and sore. Joker, from the brutal beating he so generously gave to the shadowy man, and Harley from her growing belly.

Harley had positioned herself carefully onto the living room couch, placing her hands on top of her stomach and then closing her eyes. A quick giggle and small smile made Joker give her a rapid look over before he himself released a chuckle.

"What was that for?" He removed his coat before moving over to Harley.

She rested her head on the back cushions of the couch, "I have the giggles."

"Oh that's a serious problem." He leaned over Harley from the backside of the couch smiling down at her.

She opened her eyes realizing where he stood, "What do you suggest for a cure?"

"Why would want a cure for such a wonderful disease Harl?"

"Why do you say it's a serious problem?"

Joker leaned down and kissed her, "Because when you get a case of the giggles in front of me, things could get silly."

"What's so serious about being silly?"

Joker hopped over the couch and sat beside her, "Why is it, that when one is silly they can't be serious, but when one is serious they _can_ be silly."

Harley thought about this and then laughed, "That's a bit Riddler…"

"No, his riddles have answers, mine don't."

"Then why do you ask me?"

"Because it's a logical question." He reached for a nearby blanket and wrapped it around them, the room was cold due to the weather outside, "Another logical question is what we want to name this thing inside of you."

"Thing, you mean our daughter?" She slapped him on the knee lovingly, "I thought you wanted to name her Harley."

"Do you know how confusing that would be for me? I would call for one of you and then I'd have to deal with both of you!" He shook his head, "No idea what I was thinking then…"

Harley watched Joker disappear underneath the blanket, he rested the back of his head on Harleys lap and sighed heavily. She placed her hands underneath as well and began to massage his scalp.

"Well, what about Diamond? That was one of my first choices."

"No, not as a first name. Too, spoiled sounding, I'm going to make sure she lives happily but I don't want her spoiled rotten, I want her spoiled nicely. Let's go to bed I have to be up at three."

Harley removed the covers, "Alright, where do you have to go?"

"I'll tell you later, want me to carry you?"

She smiled and nodded appreciatively, "What do you want to name her?"

"Danielle." He scooped Harley up and proceeded to the stairs where he ascended them with utmost ease.

"I like that name!"

Joker placed her next to the bathroom entrance of his room, "We can name her…Danielle Quinn."

Harley dressed into her pajamas, "That sounds good, but why my last name, I'd thought you'd like to use yours? I know you have a name besides Joker…"

He dove into bed and covered himself quite nicely, "It's of no matter."

"What's your name?"

"I said, it is of no matter Harley." The darkness in his voice reappeared and it made Harley's heart skip a beat out of adoration.

"I'm pretty sure I know your first name, you talked in your sleep last night."

Joker sat up and eyed her, "What did I say?"

Harley noticed the tone of his voice, she also noted that he was holding anger within him, "You kept calling out Jack, is that your name? Jack?"

"I've never spoken in my sleep before." He tried to come up with something to excuse his behavior, his name had been kept secret his entire life. The only people that knew about it, were dead.

"Is that your name?" Harley calmed herself, trying to be considerate, "I'm not going to tell anyone, you've got to believe me Mistah J."

He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, "I believe you, but if I tell you, then you'd be the only other person besides me to know my name. And my name holds a lot of responsibility, as I'm sure you could have figured."

"Yes, I know. If you allow me to hold that responsibility, it would be an honor. If that makes any clear sense as to why for you, but understand," She curled up next to him, "I would never, _never_, reveal anything about you to anyone without you telling me to do so."

He didn't smile, "My name is Jack."

"Thank you." Harley swung her arms around him hugging tightly, "What about your last name?"

Joker breathed in slowly through his nose and then held it for a moment before releasing back out through his mouth, "I don't think it would be safe for either of us if I told you."

"Please just tell me."

"It doesn't matter, I'm not giving my daughter a last name that has death written all over it."

"And you think mine doesn't?" She lashed back with slight fury in her voice.

"Yours can't give you a sound name to a criminal who has killed over one thousand people! They already know your name, I've kept mine hidden for over fifteen years, I'm not going to just let it slip out now while I'm at my best!"

Harley scratched her forehead, "I'm just saying, if we're going to give her a last name it should be yours, it should at least be within her name somehow."

"I can't put my last name in hers Harley! You don't get it, one person sees her name they will instantly try to track every letter they see back to my childhood, back to me! I'd be finished, gone. They'd take me so fast you'd think it was a competition, which in all honesty it probably is to them…"

"Just tell me what it is!"

"I can't, you'd be at too much of a risk."

Harley removed herself from the bed, "I don't understand why you can't tell the one person you've ever loved, your last name. You know how far I'd go for you, to protect your innocence. I would never, no matter how hard they worked for it, reveal your name."

"Enough Harley."

"Just tell me your last name, and we can be done with the conversation."

Joker flew out of bed and went to the bathroom, "No, just stop!" He splashed cold water on his face and rubbed it deeply with a towel.

"I'm not going to stop."

"Do you have no damn respect?" He eyed her darkly, his voice deep and loud, "I've kept my name secret for a long time, and now that I have a beautiful girl in my presence I'm supposed to give up everything I've worked so hard for? I don't think so, you've got my first name, and the police can track me with just that. I don't want them to have the pleasure in knowing my whole name right off the bat."

"Why don't you trust me?" Harley urged closer to him but stopped after a few steps.

"What the hell do you mean I don't trust you? You're the only person in the world I do trust! Why do you think I bothered to tell you my story about how my parents died, why do you think I bother to protect you day in and day out, why do you think I'm having a child with you? Think about it Harley. I fucking proposed to you! You've got my emotions going non-stop! No one has ever done that to me before…"

"So, I'm just a burden to you then."

"What?" He looked at her in disbelief.

Her eyes got teary, "Seems like you're complaining about how I make you feel."

"Because I've never felt anything like this before!" He pointed fingers towards his chest, "I didn't know I had a heart! I didn't know I could love! I didn't know I could feel remorse when it came to you! I don't know what to make of it, I've been absent of these kinds of things my entire life!"

Harley nodded her head, "And then I came in and screwed it up for you."

"Fuck Harley! You want to know my last name? You want to know what my whole name is? Will that make you happy? Because that's the only thing I want to do in this fucked up world is make you happy for some damn reason, that's all I want to do! I don't even feel like I can go and create chaos, unless I know that deep down your happy."

She covered her face with her hand, "I just want to be able to talk with you, I want to know you."

"The whole world wants to know me! Do you not think it gets tiresome? Trying to protect yourself for thirty two years, that's the only person you've ever had to worry about, and then a girl walks in. A fucking girl comes in, and now you have to protect her. Then a baby comes along, and now you have to protect her too! Thirty two years I've been on my own and now you come into my life."

"You took me into your life, don't blame this on me!"

"Harley, I'm not blaming you, I'm not saying you're a burden, I'm not saying I never wanted to love you. I'm saying I can't protect you if you know my name. If I tell you, then I can't protect you to my fullest ability."

Harley wiped away the tears that covered her face, "Maybe it would be better if I go, I mean for the both of us."

"No, no no no no no! I don't want you to leave, I love you Harley!" He flung his hands behind his head holding onto the other tightly trying to save this.

She crossed her arms over her chest, "I know you want to protect me, and for that I am so grateful, but I want to know who you are, I feel like I just need to leave to make you feel comfortable."

"I'm The Joker, I'm not Jack anymore, and I won't ever be Jack again. My name is Joker now. I don't want anything to do with my past, and I will not be putting any of my old name into my daughters new one."

"Then tell me who you _were_ so I can know _you_ better." She could tell how tense his body was.

He grinded his teeth, "Fuck Harley!" and then rubbed the palms of his hands rapidly over his forehead, "Fuck!"

She was silent as she listened to his heavy breathing.

"I can't, for the sake of you, for the sake of our daughter, I can't." He clenched his fists and shook them in front of his chest, "I don't know how else to get it through to you why I can't. I wish I never met you, because then you always could have been safe."

"What did you just say?"

"I wish, I never would have met you. You could have been safe without me, not have to worry about getting shot, or killed. Always have your lover come home in one piece with no scars no wounds…"

Harley interrupted him, "I wouldn't want anyone else. Without you, I'd just be Harleen Quinzel, I'd be a psychiatrist and probably marry some rich fat sweaty guy who only wants for me for my ass. But now I'm Harley Quinn and I have a guy who only wants to protect me and make me happy, what else could I want? You keep me safe, even if something happens, you're there for me to make me feel better."

Joker smiled, "I want you for your ass…"

Harley walked up to him quickly and embraced him while laughing, "I love you, I don't need to know your name."

"I love you so much Harley, I thought you were going to leave." He pressed his face down into her hair.

She felt his warm breathing come out in spurts, in relief, "I told you I would never leave you Joker. We'll name her Danielle Diamond Quinn, DDQ."

"Perfect sweetie, perfect."


	13. Chapter 13

Harley had just woken up from a restful nights sleep, she looked over at Jokers empty side of the bed. He had been gone for a few days, something about copyrighting his 'Joker Fish'. Lou, one of Jokers hyenas, sat peacefully along Harley's feet. She didn't mind it at all, he was very warm.

"Lou, watcha doin' buddy?" She watched his reaction perk up and his tail start to wag, "You're a good boy huh?"

He jumped up snuggling into Harley's side, all the while whimpering, "You miss Daddy huh?" She looked at his brown eyes, "What, I miss him too!"

She patted his head and then removed herself out of the bed with sluggish movements, being eight months pregnant was not an easy task to accomplish.

"Lou, go get mommas slippers please."

He jumped off of the bed laughing, disappearing quickly into the bathroom area. Lou returned after a few moments with Jokers slippers.

"You silly boy, not daddy's slippers _mommas_ slippers."

His ears lowered as he listened intently and then laughed again as he ran back to the bathroom, this time he returned with Harley's slippers.

"Smart boy!" She rubbed his head as she slipped into the warmth of the shoes, "Where's Bud at Lou?"

Harley motioned herself carefully to the hall way where she was greeted with a large yelp and laugh from Bud who had been waiting for her to appear from Jokers room.

She was startled and jumped, "Jeez Bud, ya scared me! Morning to you too sweetie."

Harley began to walk but heard a squishing noise as she lifted her foot up from its position, "Hey, you two guys are potty trained, which one of you piddled?" She put a stern look on her face, and the two of them cowered down.

"Don't worry, I won't tell daddy." She smiled at them and then looked down at the fluid stain on the floor.

"Oh…my…God…"

Bud and Lou cocked their heads at her.

"Cell phone…Bud get…my cell phone." She glanced at Bud who sat patiently.

Harley screamed now, "Bud cell phone!"

He laughed and sniffed wildly in the air, once he got a scent of the phone he bolted towards it. Lou sat beside Harley until Bud arrived with the phone.

She pressed madly at the buttons her hands beginning to tremble, thankfully she managed to press the call button.

"What!" Joker answered.

Harley replied her voice cracking, "Baby?"

"Harley? What's the matter?" His angered tone now diminished, he hadn't realized who was calling and he noticed the fear in her speaking.

"How far away are you?"

A long pause, "About two hours away from home. Why, what's the matter?"

"Can you come home? Quicker than that?" She asked almost in a plea.

"What's the matter sweetie?"

"I think my water broke…"

Another long pause, "What do you mean you _think_ your water broke?"

"Like it's all over the hall way broke."

"Are you in pain sweetheart?" She could hear him pick up speed in the car he was driving, the motor going full force.

"No, not at the moment, what do I do?" He could hear her start to cry.

"Don't cry pumpkin, I'm on my way right now. I'll be home in thirty minutes promise. Are you in the hall way up stairs or down stairs?" He was incredibly calm.

"Up stairs…"

"Okay, can you go back and lye down in my bed?"

She nodded to herself, "Yes I think so, don't get off of the phone okay?"

"Never crossed my mind."

Harley tip toed over to the bed scared beyond belief, "Okay I'm in bed."

Joker rubbed his eyes as he arrived at a nearby helicopter pad. He got out of the car and motioned for a man who stood waiting for someone to arrive.

This man questioned Joker, "Pass code sir?"

"Two Dents."

"Where would you like to go sir?"

Joker instructed the man on his homes whereabouts.

Harley waited patiently on the line listening to Joker speak to someone, "Baby?"

"I'm here, but I have to hang up for just a minute okay. I'm going to call you right back."

"Okay…" She hung up the phone and waited for a few seconds before her phone began to ring again.

"Hi…"

Joker smiled at her fragile voice, "Your going to be fine, I'm in a helicopter right now on my way home, promise I'll be there in about twenty five minutes okay sweetie?"

"I'm scared." Harley felt Lou jump up next to her and eye her suspiciously, "Hi Lou."

"Lou keeping you company while I'm away?"

"Yea, Lou and Bud have been good boys…" Joker listened to her snivel, "But Bud startled me and I think that's how my water broke." She chuckled.

"Aw, I'm sorry Harl, still no pain? No contractions?"

Harley smiled, how could Joker stay so calm during this? "No, so far I'm fine, just a little shocked is all…I miss you." She started to cry heavily.

"Baby, I'm on my way home, I'm sorry I wasn't there with you when this started."

He could barely understand her, "It's…o…kay!"

Joker couldn't help but smile, his baby girl was going to be born soon. He had been waiting so long for this, eight whole months. Now it was almost time, remarkable.

"Hey Harley guess what?" He spoke in a joking manner.

"What?"

"I love you so much."

She cried harder, "…You're so adorable!"

Joker rubbed his nose as he looked down at Gotham below him. He felt a rush go throughout his body, through every fiber of his being. Sensations he couldn't describe. This was his city, his place, he ruled it. Gotham was at his mercy. And now that his daughter was going to be born, that rush intensified ten fold. He felt unstoppable.

"I just entered Gotham, I'll be home soon."

Bud now joined Lou and Harley on the bed, the three of them sat cuddled up with one another, "Okay, I need you here with me, I want you here…"

He sighed into the speaker on the Helicopter. Remarkable, someone actually wanted him to be with him, wanted him out of everyone else to be with her, truly remarkable. It felt great.

"Harley?"

"Yea?" Her tears started up again.

"She's going to be beautiful." He listened to her blow her nose and the laughter of the hyenas, "You must look funny to Bud and Lou, they keep laughing."

Harley gave a short laugh, "They always laugh at me…"

The helicopter landed after a few more minutes of conversation, "I have to hang up okay? I'm in the back yard I'll be up in just a minute." He hung up without Harley's consent and he shook the pilots hand before jumping out and running into the house.

Harley heard the back door close and then Jokers foot steps clunk against the steps of the stairs. Tears flowed even more. She wiped her eyes and stared at the bedroom door waiting for her Harlequin of Hate to enter. His steps neared and she smiled largely.

Joker opened the door with a straight face. But once he caught a glimpse of Harley he showed his trademark at her, "Hey."

"Hi…" She opened her arms eagerly awaiting his embrace.

He complied without hesitation. Joker walked over to her and gave a tender and gentle squeeze, "You okay?"

She nodded as Bud and Lou cuddled underneath the covers.

"I'm going to call the doctor okay?"

"Alright."

Joker called the doctor and the doctor casually said he was on his way. He hung up the phone and then curled up next to Harley on the bed.

"I'm so scared Mistah J…it's going to hurt so much."

Joker pushed back her hair and kissed her, "It'll be over before you know it Harl. And I'll be here the whole time."

She leaned her head on his shoulder. Joker could feel her body tighten up, "Are we having our first contraction?"

Harley kept quiet squeezing her eyes tightly closed and then after a moment let out a long and heavy breath, "Oh my God this is going to hurt so badly!" She realized how much pain that one simple contraction had given her, "It's going to hurt so bad…"

Joker pushed her head into his chest, her safe haven, "Shh, hush now…" He kissed the top of head, "I'm here, it'll be over before you know it okay?" He eyed the clock to note the time of the first contraction, "Do you want me to turn on the television for you, may help you get your mind off the pain?"

She shook her head no, "Just lay with me…"

"Of course."

An hour or so passed and Harley squeezed Jokers hands as another contraction seeped its way into her body. This time she didn't keep her scream within herself, however she bellowed into his chest, creating a muffled noise.

She pulled away after the pain had vanished, "I hate this!" Harley placed her hands on top of her stomach.

"I'm sorry Harley, I wish I could make the pain go away."

"I need drugs! Where is the doctor?"

Lou and Bud ran out of the room from her loud shrieks of demon caused terror.

Joker laughed, "He should be here soon."

"How the hell can you stay so calm during this?" She sounded angry.

He brushed her hair back again, "I'm not the one who is pregnant…" He stood up from the bed and grabbed a pillow shoving it underneath his dress shirt, "But if I was…what do you think?" He turned around modeling off his stomach.

Harley laughed but it hurt slightly, "You look just fab Puddin'."

"Good, so next time we want to have a kid, I'll be the one who is fatter than everyone else hmm?"

She smiled, "Sounds good to me."

Just then the doctor knocked on the door and opened it, Joker swung around with the pillow still under his shirt. He rubbed it caressingly.

"Um…" The doctor noticing Joker with a large belly smiled.

"What? We were deciding who looked better pregnant. What do you think doc?"

Harley laughed again and the doctor looked at Harley and then at Joker, "I'd have to say you have quite the look going for you Joker."

Joker took the pillow out from under his stomach and tossed it back onto the bed, "Now let's get serious, she's only had two contractions and those were an hour and ten minutes apart. She would like some drugs, I'd say a low dose of morphine to start her off with…"

"Thank you." The doctor shook his head smiling all the while, "How are you feeling Harley?"

"Like I'm about to give birth."

The doctor lifted up the covers and her sleeping blouse, "Good, you're about three and a smidge dilated, you've got a ways to go, but that's a good start."

He started to set his tools up on a small tray he brought with him, a nurse of his entered the room also.

Joker smiled at Harley and she likewise smiled back. He mouthed to her 'I love you.' She smiled brighter and rested her head back against her pillow still looking at him with complete respect. She mouthed back 'I love you too.'

"OH MY GOD!" Joker held her hand as she constricted it, but he didn't mind he wanted to be there for her.

"Breathe baby, breathe…" He held the back of her neck.

Harley relaxed after about seventy seconds, she panted, "That one was really big!" tears rolled down her cheeks.

Joker kissed her forehead, "I know sweetie."

"You're dilating quite nicely Miss Quinn, I believe you will be having your baby today at this rate of dilation. You are four and half centimeters now, congratulations you are in active labor."

Joker grabbed her hand and smiled at her, he knelt down on the side of the bed, "See how quick this is going?"

"We've been sitting here for almost six hours…no I don't see how quick this is going." Harley was short with him.

"You're going to be fine princess."

Harley rubbed her eyes, "You are so damn lucky I love you."

Joker kissed her fingers, "I know I am. I told you I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I don't think I could be any happier now that I've got you and our daughter. Well, whenever she decides to stop torturing you and finally pop out." He laughed and Harley stroked his lips with her finger.

Two hours later and Harley's contractions were only ten to five minutes apart. The pain entering her back and then ending in her front had caused Jokers hand to become numb from the squeezing he was enduring.

"She's got to be close, tell me she's ready to come out I feel like I'm on fire down there…" Harley's voice had been much softer due to the exhaustion of her straining and tightening.

The doctor looked once more, "Miss Quinn, your child is crowning. Push when I tell you to push, stop when I tell you to stop, and in a few moments you will have had a child."

Harley looked over at Joker, her eyes wide with fear. He seemed collected as he stroked her forehead, "You're doing such a fantastic job Harley, and you're almost done." He kissed her passionately.

She sighed and looked at the doctor, a sense of determination on her face. The nurse positioned a towel down and then raised Harley's legs up.

"One, two , three…push."

She obliged and the most intense but enlightening pain shot through her.

"Stop, good just a few more. Now, one, two, three…push."

Harley felt Joker place his forehead against hers, she cried out loudly in pain.

"And stop. You're doing an amazing job Harley. Give me one last big push now okay? One, two, three…push."

She pushed as Joker kissed her temple, "I love you so much Harley."

Her whole body relaxed as they listened to their baby girl scream in delight. Harley cried and breathed out slowly as Joker kissed her on the lips, "Thank you Harl…thank you so much."

"Congratulations, you are the proud parents of a healthy baby girl." The nurse and doctor cleaned the baby quickly and prepared her for Harley to hold.

"Here you are Miss Quinn…Joker congratulations." The doctor handed her over to Harley once everything had been noted about the birth.

Harley smiled at Danielle, her small face scrunched up in a cute aura, her tiny hands waving in the air, and her lips pressed lightly together.

"She's gorgeous." Joker spoke out as he stroked his daughter's nose.

She was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.

Danielle opened her eyes but closed them shut after the light had hit them, "She has your eyes!" Harley exclaimed in a whisper.

Danielle tried once more to open her eyes, but closed them shortly after coming in view with the light again.

Joker noticed the light purple hues, "Remarkable." He leaned forward and kissed Danielle softly on the forehead, "Danielle Diamond Quinn, you are remarkable."

"I can't believe this, half of you and half of me." Harley was beyond tired but she had no intention of closing her eyes from her baby.

"I'm a dad." Joker cleared his throat, "I'm a dad."

Harley kissed Danielle gently, "Look at you Danielle, you look so healthy."

Joker smiled and kissed Harley again, "You're a mom Harley…we're…parents."

"Unbelievable…"

"Can I hold her?"

Harley handed her to Joker, "Of course she's our daughter."

Joker held her close to his chest, bracing her in all the right places, "Hey Danielle, your one in a million you know that?" He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the side of hers. Harley noticed a tear drip from Jokers eye.

He opened them back up after a while and looked down at Danielle, "She looks like you Harley…a lot like you."

Harley rubbed a few tears off of her face, and listened to Joker talk quietly to Danielle. He had been so calm and understanding the entire time. He was perfect. _Joker and Danielle were perfect._

She couldn't have been happier.

"Danielle Diamond Quinn, my daughter. I love you. I love you beyond words my baby princess." He nuzzled his nose lovingly against hers.


	14. Chapter 14

Danielle Diamond Quinn, the child of Harley Quinn and The Joker, was born on the twenty third of August. Along with that birth was a joyous shower of happiness that somehow pushed its way into Jokers heart. He had thought that Harley had completed him, but now that Danielle, his beautiful and precious baby princess, was now alive and living in his world, his joy burst out of him. How could it be that only seeing this brilliant work of art for a brief second bring such pleasure and ultimate well being to such a man? He held her close to him, feeling how warm she already was within his arms, the moment Harley handed her to him that awe inspiring day.

He vowed while nuzzling Danielle's cheek with his own that he would always protect her. Protect her in this incredibly brutal world that they had so shallowly brought her into. He had promised to Harley before, but when he saw Danielle's purple eyes his throat instantly burned. She was too perfect, too beautiful, and too unique.

That was one month ago and now she already began to grow, it was so amazingly quick.

She had already smiled and laughed just like her father. Danielle wouldn't smile or laugh to anyone human besides Harley or Joker, they didn't know why, but they treasured it deep within themselves for this reason. Perhaps she truly did feel protected by them, remarkable.

Although, and this made the new parents laugh as well, Danielle did get her kicks out of seeing and hearing Bud and Lou laugh around her. She would giggle uncontrollably as the two hyenas would gently lick her nose and then snicker to themselves. Harley would nudge Jokers knee and point her finger at the three playing with one another. His eyes would brighten momentarily in fear that they might accidently hurt her, but he had trained them and soon his fears melted away with time. Joker would watch with intense glares towards his daughter during these times, feeling her laugh travel throughout himself.

It made him feel invincible, immortal even, to know that the laugh she produced was part of him. He felt like he could rule the world.

At three months old Joker and Harley had been sitting on the couch with Danielle snuggled right in between them. A small family finally united together.

Harley watched the television while Joker had blissfully dozed off, his arm wrapped tenderly behind Harley's head on top of the couch cushions. His other hand was placed on Danielle's stomach.

Suddenly a quiet little laugh came from between them.

Harley looked down at Danielle, "What's got you so happy, silly one?"

Joker woke up now. The laughter was becoming louder, and he laughed as he listened to his daughter's abrupt giggles taking place.

"Shh…" Harley posed her finger over her lips smiling at the two of them as she continued to watch her movie.

Joker leaned down and kissed Danielle on the top of her head. She looked up at him quickly with a smooth movement. Joker smiled again, "Mommas no fun huh sugar pop…"

Danielle turned her head back towards the television and made a raspberry with her tiny lips.

Joker and Harley looked at one another and then both burst out laughing.

Harley rubbed Danielle's belly causing her to giggle and hum, "What was the raspberry for huh baby girl?"

"She thinks you're just a plain ol' party pooper to put it simply." He leaned over and kissed Harley.

At six months old Joker needed to leave for a few days, a short business trip that needed his advice.

His two girls waited by the front door for him, "I'll be back in a few days don't worry Harl, and Cur is here to make sure you're safe too."

He placed a quick kiss on Danielle's forehead and then stroked his finger over her lips, "You be a good girl for daddy okay, don't give mommy _too_ much trouble."

"She's half of you, that'll be quite hard."

Joker gave Harley a sharp look, "What are you saying…"

She shook her head and placed Danielle down onto her blanket. Harley then wrapped her arms around his neck, "Be safe, I'll miss you Puddin'."

Joker lowered his hips and then pushed into Harley's groin while the two kissed. He could hear Harley moan in her throat.

"That was mean…" She pulled away and patted his chest.

He shrugged his shoulders, "That's just me sweetie pie!" He waved goodbye to Danielle who had been sitting up watching, "Bye bye my baby princess."

Harley closed the door behind him and sighed as she smiled at Danielle, "What are we two bored girls going to do while the entertainment is away baby girl?"

Danielle scrunched her face as she looked at the front door, a small cry started to form.

"Dannie girl what's the matter?" Harley watched her daughter get into a crawling position, "No way…"

Danielle cried and created a frustrated looking face at the front door, and then she slowly crawled toward it.

"…No way!" Harley clapped her hands as she watched Danielle crawl at a steady speed. Harley opened the door a little bit, "Joker! Come here quick!"

Joker looked back, he was almost fully into the car, "She just can't get enough of me…"

He entered the house and looked at Harley, "What's the matter baby?"

"Your baby missed you." She pointed at Danielle who was crawling still towards the door, not realizing that her father had reappeared.

Joker smiled at his little miracle child, "Dannie did you miss daddy?"

She stopped and sat down, her cries ceased as she looked up at Joker. A small hum of giggles started up as Joker bent down and picked Danielle up, "You did miss me!"

Harley rubbed Jokers back, "She loves you so much. She started to crawl to the door crying as soon as you left."

Joker kissed her, "Guess what baby princess, daddy loves you too!" He blew raspberries into her cheek, causing a flutter to go through him when he heard a small shriek of laughter.

Harley spent the most time with Danielle as she grew up. Mostly because Joker had a lot of business to attend to, but when it was just Danielle and him alone in the house, when Harley had to go do some shopping or something rather, he tried to make it as fun as possible. His time away from home didn't seem to matter, they bonded together perfectly.

Danielle was now one year old. She could walk, and she could also say just a few words, such as daddee, mommee, hi, and no. She and Joker were in his work office while Harley was away on a shopping spree. Joker was conducting a new plan his mind had dreamed about the night before, while Danielle entertained herself by walking back and forth from one wall to the other in front of her father's desk.

After a while of her short adventures from one wall to the other, she became bored and stood still in the middle of the room. She looked up at Joker and smiled, "Daddee!"

He didn't look up from his blueprint, "Yes sweetheart…"

She laughed and sat down with a thump, clapping her hands. Her short blond hair beginning to grow.

"Daddee!"

She wore a red and black ruffled dress, Joker insisted that they get it for her.

Joker set down his writing utensils and looked down across the desk at her, "What sugar pop?"

Danielle folded her legs and tipped from side to side, a large grin on her little face.

Joker folded his hands under his chin smiling back, "…What you silly woman?"

"Hi!"

He laughed, "Hi baby princess." He looked back at his blueprints and proceeded to work once again.

Danielle eyed her favorite red child sized piano and rolled over to it. She pounded her hand against it, creating a not so harmonious beat, she sang out with the beats, creating 'ahhs' and 'blahs' and a couple screams of 'ha'. Joker rubbed his forehead but laughed just the same.

After she completed her beautiful masterpiece, she crawled over to the edge of Jokers desk and helped herself up. She raised her hand up so that her finger tips could only be seen above the desk. Joker noticing her fingers chuckled.

She pulled away after settling into a comfortable stance and walked over to the middle of the room, "Daddee!"

"Yes Danielle?" He kept his head down at his work but allowed his eyes to travel to her.

She opened her arms up wide, "Hi!"

Joker stood up from his desk and met her in the middle of the room. He bent down as low as he could get, "Hi!" He spoke enthusiastically.

"Hi!"

Joker picked her up and brushed back her thin blond strands. He pinched his nose after a second, "A surprise for daddy huh? Well, it's the thought that counts I suppose."

Danielle buried her head into his chest, it had also become a safe haven for her as well.

Joker placed her onto the changing table in her room, "You're a very stinky girl Danielle, I must say that."

He cleaned her up quickly, it never bothered him to change her unlike most dads. He patted her tummy as he put a new diaper on and straightened her clothes back on her, "You hungry? How about some cheerios! Those are always good right?"

Joker picked her up after a gleeful scream he assumed was a yes. He put her into a piggy back position and made noises to that of a horse as he galloped lightly down the stairs.

"Daddee!" She grabbed onto his hair.

"I'm not daddy, I'm a horse of course. You must be able to realize that silly woman." He set her down and placed a small bowl out in front of her semi-filled with cereal.

"Mommee?" She picked up one of the cheerios and placed it in her mouth chewing and tilting her head side to side.

"I hope you aren't asking if I'm mommy." He rubbed her head, "I hope you're asking when mommy will be home, if you are…She's shopping, it could be a while kiddo."

He watched Danielle eat her snack in a happy mood obviously having no idea what he just said to her. She swayed her head back and forth slowly, and her jaw moving up and down.

"Want to listen to music pretty lady?"

She clapped her hands hearing the word music. She had always loved music, especially the type Joker played, classical.

He went to the living room and turned on the stereo and instantly a light tune of one of Mozart's works played throughout the downstairs area. Danielle moved her body to the music humming softly but not necessarily to the beat.

She finished her small portion of cereal and looked at Joker while she was bouncing softly in the high chair.

"Want to dance with daddy Danielle?" Joker picked her up out of the seat and brought her to the front of the stereo.

He held her hands above her head and moved in extremely tiny steps, she gurgled and laughed in excitement from the dance, "You're a pretty good dancer sugar pop!" Joker let go of her hands and she began to bob her body with the beat of the song.

He smiled and laughed as she fell down onto her bottom after getting to much momentum going. But she didn't cry she only smiled and looked up at Joker, then determined to finish her dance she brought herself up and continued.

"That's my girl, never give up!" Joker sat down next to her, folding his legs marveling at his daughter.

The music stopped and Danielle went over to Joker, arms opened for a hug. Once she reached him he wrapped his arms around her tenderly, "I love you so much Danielle. You make daddy so happy inside and out."

"Mommee."

He laughed, "I'm daddy, not mommy."

"She was talking to me Puddin'." Harley closed the door.

Joker turned around and smiled, "Hey sweetheart." Joker let go of his hold on Danielle and kissed her forehead before getting up to help Harley with her bags.

"How was your day? Find anything exciting out in the world?" Joker kissed her while he took hold of the bags, Danielle amused herself by dancing to the next song that played.

"I found an outfit for Danielle, but all the rest is just boring stuff you wouldn't like it. Well actually you may like one thing…"

Harley pulled out the outfit for Danielle, it was a purple and green jacket with black sweat pants, "The winter months are almost here, and she grew out of her old stuff."

Joker looked at it and smiled, "Where did you find this at?"

"I had it made." She dug through the bag for another item.

"Ah…" He waited patiently as he listened to Danielle attempt to sing with the song.

Harley revealed a lingerie outfit that was red and black. She covered her body with it modeling it to him.

"Well," He came closer to her pulling a knife out of his pocket and then slowly tracing it along her neck, "you know me quite well Harley."

He smiled and his eyes darkened, "I thought you might have like it." She set it aside and then received a painful bite into her neck, "How was your day with Danielle."

Joker pulled away and glanced over his shoulder at his dancing daughter, "Amazingly perfect. We did some work to start off with, then she played the piano and might I say she is a great singer." They both listened to her shrieks of joy and they laughed as they kissed, "Then she gave me a surprise, so I gave her cheerios as a thank you. And now as you can clearly see we are enjoying a bit of classical music."

Harley hugged him, "You brushed her teeth this morning?"

"Yes." He eyed her seductively.

"You gave her a bath?"

"Mmhmm." Joker pulled her closer to him.

"You made sure she was changed throughout the day?"

"Yes Harley…" He bit her lip and sucked on it, "I'm a good dad remember?"

Harley pushed herself against him, "Yes I remember now…but how much sugar did you give her?"

He licked his lips, "Not a drop."

Harley pulled away just slightly, "Are you sure you didn't give her any sugar?"

"Positive, but I could use some sugar sweetie pie." He lifted her chin up and kissed her.

"Mommee!"

Harley laughed, "Saved by the cry of her daughter."

He let Harley go, "Yes, I suppose so…" Joker turned around laughing as he saw Danielle twirling in a circle.

He watched Harley bend down to Danielle, and receive a loving hug from her. The looks on their beautiful faces, it made him feel so complete. Life was perfect. Life was perfect with them…


	15. Chapter 15

Joker lay on his bed, Harley right by his side snuggling into his warmth and protection. It was three in the morning, around the time he usually wakes up. He arched his back and looked at Harley smiling.

He loved it when Harley would push into his side at night. The way her hair flowed over the pillow while she slept made him smile, the way she could manage to get as close as possible to him allowed him to know just how much she loved him.

"Harley…" He shoved her away.

Harley made a small noise in her throat and then opened her eyes delicately, "Yea?"

"You're too close." Joker flipped over and smiled as he felt Harley's hands rub his back.

"Aw, Puddin', I can't help it. Even when I'm sleeping, I just can't get enough of my Puddin'!"

Joker loved her so much, so incredibly much. He reached behind him and patted Harley's thigh, "That's okay Pooh, you can cuddle into my back, I'm getting up in just a minute though."

Harley squealed happily as she burrowed into his back, "How about we have some fun Mistah J?" She kissed the back of his neck.

Joker squirmed slightly, "Not today Harley." His tone was in a state of agitation.

"Aw come on Pud…" Harley wrapped her leg up and over Jokers waist.

He chuckled quietly to himself, but spoke with a stern voice, "Not, today Harley."

She didn't let up and now she was climbing on top of him, pulling him onto his back towards her, "Just give me a kiss then…"

Joker tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. He sighed and kissed her forehead, "Happy?"

She pouted, "No…" her eyes traveled away from his.

"You aren't happy?"

Harley shook her head and then rested it on his chest.

"Aw poor little Harley…why aren't you happy?" He patted her head as he spoke.

She smiled but then pouted again, "Joker won't play with me…"

He lifted her head back up and looked at her rise and fall on his chest as he breathed, "You want to play?"

Harley smiled, "Yes!"

He drowned in her eagerness to please him. Her beautiful smile and dimples, it was so amazing, "Not today Harley…"

Her eyes drooped, "But, I'll let you use the whoopee cushion? You always wanted to use the whoopee cushion, I'll let you use it this time."

Joker laughed, "Look at you…" He reached up to her and licked the tip of her nose, "How did I get so lucky?"

The two of them smiled at one another, their noses lightly brushing against the others cheek.

"Daddy! Mommy! Help!"

Joker and Harley both jumped up and went to Danielle's room, she was now five years old. Joker entered the room first with Harley close behind.

"Danielle, what's the matter sweetie?" Harley ran to her side and held her tightly, small tears began to stream down her face.

She wrapped her tiny arms around her mother's neck and was picked up out of her bed.

Joker adjusted his gray tank top, "What happened sugar?"

Danielle dug her face into Harley's neck and then pointed towards her closet, "A monster!"

Joker laughed, "Hey baby princess…no monsters in there." He started to walk to the closet to show her but was stopped by a scream.

"No daddy! Don't, he'll eat you!" Danielle pleaded.

He smiled, "Danielle, look…" Joker reached for the handle of the closet door a wide smile on his face, but then he saw something causing his smile to disappear immediately.

"Harley…cover her eyes…and do not leave this room."

She created a puzzled look, "What's the matter?"

He repeated himself, "Cover her eyes." Joker pulled a knife out of his pajama pocket, he never left without one.

Danielle sobbed into Harley as her eyes were covered. Harley's heart began to beat faster.

Joker had noticed a blood stain on the door handle and the door frame. He reached for the door and opened it, and he felt like he had let both Harley and Danielle down when he saw the mutilated dead body in the corner.

"Son of a bitch!" Joker kicked the wall with his foot leaving a hole as a result.

Harley saw the dead man located within the closet, "Oh my God."

Joker grabbed the note that was attached to the mans body and then closed the door. He went over to Danielle and grabbed her from Harley, "Follow me." He grabbed Harley's hand forcefully and dragged her out of the room.

He held Danielle close to him resting his head on top of hers as she cried into his chest. How could he leave them unprotected, he vowed he would protect his girls. Now this happened. Someone in the middle of the night broke into his house, and then left a dead body in his daughter's closet. And she had seen it he presumed. He would kill the fucking bastard who did this…he would.

Harley squeezed his hand as they entered the downstairs area, "Cur! Cur! Get out here!" Joker yelled out causing Danielle to cry louder, "Shh, you're okay now promise, daddy's got ya. You trust me right sugar pop?"

"Yes…" Her purple eyes were soaked and Joker reached out and wiped the tears away.

"Good, you always trust daddy okay, no matter what."

"…Okay daddy."

"Joker, what's going on? Who was that?" Harley asked suddenly, her eyes were also beginning to water.

He slipped the note out of his pocket and looked at it, "I don't know…"

Cur appeared, "Yes Boss?"

"We had an intruder, go clean up the mess in Danielle's closet." He spoke quietly to Cur not allowing Danielle to hear.

"Yes sir." He left quickly.

Joker opened the note and read it silently to himself, when he was finished he dropped the note to the floor and grabbed Harley, pulling her in close to his body.

"What's happening daddy?" Danielle had finally stopped crying and now her quiet voice was questioning the situation.

He looked at her and kissed her nose, "Oh, you don't worry about that okay? Everything's fine now, remember…trust daddy."

She nodded her head and looked at Harley reaching her arms out towards her. Harley grabbed her and soothed her, "What was in the note?"

"Penguin wants his diamond back. _His _diamond, it's mine…" He reached for Harley's hand and looked at the ring, "I slit his throat for this…" He whispered to himself.

Danielle looked at him quickly, "Did you see the monster? Was he there?"

Joker stroked back her blond hair and smiled at her, "Did you see the monster sugar?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Daddy didn't see a monster either. Daddy saw…" He magically pulled an item from behind his back and presented it to Danielle, "a cookie!"

Danielle laughed and reached out for it, "Yay! Thank you daddy." She took a tiny bite out of the cookie tossing her head side to side.

Joker was reassured, at least she didn't see the body, "Why did you think a monster was in your closet baby princess?"

She hesitated and looked back at Harley, "It's okay Danielle, tell daddy."

Danielle's eyes travelled back up to her father's, "A man said he was putting a monster in my closet."

Joker closed his eyes and then opened them after several seconds, "A man came into your room?"

Danielle responded, "Yea."

"I'm sorry sugar pop…" Joker cradled her face, "I'm so sorry."

"What do we do?" Harley stroked his back.

He stood still for a moment. Thoughts were travelling through his mind at an unknown tremendous speed. He would kill him, slowly, brutally, painfully…skillfully. He would torture Penguin, make him beg. Make him beg for mercy.

Harley spoke up again, "We can just give him back the diamond, I have the necklace you gave me at least."

"No…I'm not going to give up what's mine."

Danielle finished her cookie, "Yummy!"

Joker spoke again while stroking Danielle's stomach, he looked at Harley, "We need to leave, it isn't safe here right now."

"Where will we go?"

"I want you and Danielle to go to Ivy's, she'll keep you safe." He was speaking quickly, trying to keep up with his racing thoughts.

Harley shook her head, "But what about you?"

"I'll be fine, it's you and Danielle I'm worried about. I need to go take care of some things." He rubbed his brow, "Go get packed, grab as many valuables as you can, make sure to get clothes and necessities."

He watched Harley standing still, "Go! I'll get Danielle's stuff, I don't want her going into that room again."

Harley obeyed and quickly shot back up stairs.

Joker paced, his hands clenched, his teeth pressed tightly together. He hated this, he should have never met Harley, never. She should be with some rich fat guy. She should be. They should have never had Danielle, they should have never been introduced to one another in Arkham, they just shouldn't have. But damn did he love them…

Joker stopped and grabbed his hair with his hands, pulling lightly, "Damnit!"

He felt like his thoughts would never cease, they were searching for something, something... A memory? A word? Feelings? He wasn't sure, but he sat down on the couch and waited with his hands now on his knees. He needed his mind to hurry up, time was wasting, and his precious girls were in danger now.

_Hurry up…_

One thing jumped into his mind, Harley hadn't taken her dose of his antitoxin for Smilex. She needed to take that, Danielle didn't, strangely she had his immunity to certain things.

But that wasn't what he was searching for…his mind dug on.

Okay, it was a plan. He was able to finalize on that. But what was the plan? His brain worked harder, plundering deeper and becoming darker.

Joker stood up and entered the kitchen, he needed to move, needed to get his blood pumping, he retrieved a large garbage bag and then ran upstairs next. He entered Danielle's room and opened up the bag setting it neatly on her bed. He saw Cur working to clean up the body.

_Pump blood…pump…_

Joker collected Danielle's clothes and shoved them into the bag. He grabbed as many other things as he could, toys, books, her belongings, shoving all of them into the bag until it was completely filled and the room looked bare.

He exited the room with the bag and placed it in the hall way. Joker reentered her room and grabbed her blanket.

_Almost…that's not good enough…more torture…_

He went to his room to see Danielle sitting on the bed while Harley worked diligently at throwing everything she could into bags of various types.

Joker walked up to his daughter, "Hey kiddo."

She smiled and waved, "Hi daddy…what is mommy doing."

"You and mommy are going to Ivy's, you'll like that huh?" He wrapped the blanket around her body and compressed her in it.

Danielle giggled, "Yea!"

Harley finished and met the two of them at the bed, "I'm done."

Joker embraced her suddenly, "Don't leave Ivy's once you get there okay?"

She started to cry into his chest but Joker kissed her forehead, "Shh, everything will be fine."

"When will I see you again?"

He smiled, "I don't know, my mind hasn't gotten that far yet."

Joker picked up the bags, along with the one in the hall way, and then escorted Harley and Danielle down the stairs and then outside.

"Tell Ivy what happened when you get to her house." He tossed items into the car trunk.

Harley stood with Danielle at her side, "Alright, what are you going to do?"

"I'm still thinking." His mind was going on a tour de France.

"Will you call me?"

"Mommy it's cold." Danielle tugged at Harley's hand, "Okay sweetie one second and then we'll get into the car okay?"

She nodded patiently.

"I'll call you every chance I get." He reached over to her and kissed her passionately, he pulled away and could see the sadness in her bright blue eyes, "Everything will be fine, I promise. I promise I'd keep you safe, I'm doing that."

Harley nodded and hugged his waist, "I know you are. I love you."

His eyes travelled away, "Harley" he grabbed her throat as he brought his view back to her perfect face, "you're so beautiful…"

Harley kissed him again, "We need to go."

Once Joker put all of the belongings into the car he fastened Danielle safely into the car.

"Are you coming too daddy?" Her eyes were filled with hope.

Joker bit his lip, "No sugar pop, not this time."

"Oh, just me and mommy?"

"Just you and mommy, girl time…" He kissed her forehead and started to shut the door but stopped when she interrupted him.

"Wait!"

"What Dannie girl?" He fought back the burn in his eyes.

Danielle opened her arms up for a hug, "I love you daddy!"

"I love you too my baby princess." He knelt down and hugged her tiny body, it was still wrapped in the blanket, "Daddy will try to see you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay." Her hopes seemed to be flushing away.

"Hey, where's that smile? You know daddy loves smiles!" His own grew wide.

She looked back up at him and giggled revealing a wide grin.

"There it is, look at that sucker beam!" He patted her tummy, "Kiss for daddy?"

She puckered her lips, "Kiss for daddy!"

Joker kissed her petite lips and then ruffled her hair before waving goodbye and shutting the door. He saw Harley give him a sorrow filled look as she pulled away. His heart felt like it was breaking right down the middle. He couldn't truly protect them when he wasn't with them, but he trusted Ivy would do her part.

He folded his arms across his chest as he watched the only two people who loved disappear out of view. The cold air caused his breath to be seen.

Then like a rush, his plan popped into his head. A dark smile crept onto his face. His eyes became smaller as he started to laugh at the amusing and certain to be fun plan his brilliant mind had given to him. It only took a half hour to come up with the punch line. His inspiration was his Harley, and his Danielle…

_Penguin would be at his mercy…no one messes with The Jokers girls and lives to tell the tale…_


	16. Chapter 16

_Next time your precious dies if I don't get my diamond back, while I'm at it I might as well knock Harley Quinn off too. Meet me at The Ice Burg Lounge within the next six hours, I'll be waiting. Don't bring any of your jokes either, or I'll be the one laughing at the end…_

Joker folded the note and put it back in his pocket. How could Penguin be so stupid? He had no hostage, no accurate plan going…stupid bird.

Cur had driven him to the lounge Penguin had inquired to go to. He stepped out of the vehicle and adjusted his lapels sighing. Obviously Penguin had a few bolts loosened during the explosion five years ago, did he really expect Joker to bring the diamond…certainly not, but Penguin didn't need to know that right away.

_Fucking bastard mess with my girls, made em' both cry…not okay…not…o…kay…._

He popped his neck and then burst through the entrance doors, "Penguin!"

His eyes moved rapidly across the empty room, no one was in sight. He pulled out a switch blade and ran it across his pant leg, cleaning it if you will…he wanted his stabbing to be slick. Wanted his cuts to look perfect across Penguins canvas.

Joker grunted and clenched his teeth, "Oswald!"

Still no answer. He took a step forward and heard a distant voice, "Joker glad you could make it."

Joker froze in his spot, "Penguin you old feather brain, how ya been?" A dark and delicious smile began to creep onto his face while he turned around and around trying to find where the voice was coming from.

"Do you have my diamond?"

Joker found where Penguin was standing, conveniently hidden in a shadow, "I have _my _diamond." He wasn't looking directly where Penguin hid, but Joker flung his knife over to him. The sharp tip dug deep into the wood wall pillar, just centimeters from where Penguins cheek was.

Penguin emerged, "Enough of that, give it to me!"

"Why should I give it to you?" He pulled out another knife and aimed for his enemy, "I stole it fair and square…besides what do you want with a measly old diamond anyways?"

"You know exactly what that diamond can do!"

Joker smiled and leaned against a nearby wall, "So it can be used to control the subconscious…I can do that already without it." He started to clean underneath his fingernails with the knife.

"Exactly why I should have it, at least I'll do something productive with it!" Penguin walked closer to Joker.

"You know all you had to do was ask me for it…" He sounded sweet and caring and then lashed out throwing another knife towards Penguin, "but no you had to put a fucking threat on my daughter and Harley you fucking stupid bird!"

Penguin dodged the knife as Joker neared him, "Easy easy…just give me the diamond and everything will be fine. Give me the diamond and your family is safe."

"And what if I say no…" Joker hovered over him, his smile angry and wide.

Penguin smiled towards him, "Then your family is dead, and you go to Arkham."

Joker pulled away, "Arkham?"

"Yes…I can call the cops right now and tell them all about your whereabouts."

He snickered, "If you call them, then I'll just give them your whereabouts, you'd be right by my side!"

"Danielle and Harley would be dead…"

Joker grabbed Penguins shirt and revealed another knife, "You say that again I'll shove this knife so far up your ass you'd squeal for more."

Penguin lifted a brow, "I'm just warning you."

"I'm just warning you." He traced the tip of the knife over Penguins jugular.

He quacked out, "You kill me, then your family will be gone Joker…I have it all set out."

"Oh a plan?" He tightened his grip and pushed the knife into Penguins skin, but not enough to draw blood, "Plans are funny things aren't they?"

"That they are, so my diamond?" Penguin lifted a hand out, palm extended upwards.

"Can I at least no who would be killing my family? Since I'm going to Arkham anyways, I won't be able to kill them until after…you won't mind do you?"

"I take it you're not going to be giving me the diamond?"

Joker leaned closer into Penguin, "…No." He dug the knife into his skin drawing a slight amount of blood.

Penguin grimaced from the intense sting, "I will be killing your family personally!"

Joker pulled away and began to laugh, "You silly bird!"

Penguin grabbed the flaps of his coat and tugged on them, "What do you mean, what's so funny?"

"You just contradicted yourself…stupid old bird! You don't have anyone who has big enough balls to mess with my family! You had to drag that…mangled mess…into my home by yourself didn't you, no one will work with you on this!"

He fell silent as he listened to Joker ramble.

"You say that if I kill you, that you have a plan to still kill my girls! BUT…you just said that you would kill them personally, that doesn't make much sense…I mean not like anyone else would help you finish your plan right?" Joker rubbed his stomach from his laughter, "In fact, I don't even think _you_ have big enough balls to _kill_ my family." His eyes looked deep into Penguins and then Joker shook his head madly, "Nope nope! You don't! I can see it in your eyes!"

Penguin brushed his shoulders, "This is your last chance." He pulled out a gun and aimed it at Joker, "Give me the diamond!"

Joker shrugged his shoulders still laughing, "Don't have it."

His beady eyes narrowed, "What do you mean you don't have it?"

"I never planned on giving it to you." Joker stopped laughing and examined his shoe.

Penguin grunted, "I'll get Batman to come here and take care of you Joker!"

Joker laughed again, "You're going to call Batman on me…because I won't give you a diamond? That seems sort of childish, I would know because Danielle tells on me _all_ the time to Harley. I mean really all I do is play some jokes…itching powder, and vanishing acts…just little things."

"Enough! You're right I wouldn't hurt your family, but I will hurt you." Penguin pulled out a device and pressed a button.

"Oh, is that a button, you know how much I like buttons Pengy!" Joker teased with him.

He stood with the gun still aimed on Joker, "You're nuts."

Joker nodded, "Yes. So who are you calling to come take me away?"

"I tapped into Batman's alert signals, he should be here any moment."

Joker placed his hands behind his back and moved from heel to toe while looking around the interior of the building, "Are you really calling Batman?"

Penguin sat down, "Yes, he'll take you to Arkham. You won't be able to see your family for a long time Joker. I'm sure that will be more torture than dying."

Jokers smile disappeared, he didn't think of that. He hadn't been in Arkham for a long time, due to the fact that Harley had helped him escape some situations when Batman was present. Now obviously she wasn't here to help. Being just an hour away from the two people he loved in this world was agony enough. He couldn't go to Arkham, he couldn't.

Joker shot his head to the side, acting like he heard something. When Penguin followed his actions Joker threw one of his playing cards at him fiercely. A loud cry was heard followed by the sound of Penguins gun dropping to the floor.

Joker ran over to Penguin and pushed his knife deep into his gut twisting it all the while, "You're not a very smart man are you?"

"Maybe I found someone with balls Joker…maybe that button…you remember that big button you like oh so much? Maybe that button was a call to make the hit on your precious family."

Joker dug the knife deeper, he felt the warmth of the blood run over his gloved hand, "You are going to regret that remark for the rest of your pathetic life my wobbling friend." He removed the knife, where he had stabbed, it was not at all a fatal positioning, and Penguin would live. Joker ultimately wanted that.

"Maybe, it was a call for the Bat and the hit man!" Penguin coughed.

Joker dropped his knife to the floor and a rush of pain went through him. No it was sadness, he hadn't felt that in a long time since he met Harley. He shook his head and dug his knee into Penguins wound, causing him to quack in pain, "Watch your back Pengy…whatever your, little plan is. Tsk…tsk…tsk…not a smart one I can assure you."

"I'm not intimidated by you Joker."

Joker cocked his head to the side and pulled out a gun of his own, pushing it hard against Penguins temple, "You aren't?"

Penguin closed his eyes quickly, "No!"

"Then open your eyes and show me." The gun tore at Penguins skin.

He opened his eyes lightly and was met by a terribly frightening purple gaze. Joker intensified his search and then began to laugh, "Oh Oswald, you are intimidated by me!"

"No I'm not, you're just a psychotic clown, what's intimidating about that?"

Joker looked away and grinned at the thought but digressed, "Then why do you flinch?"

"Flinch?"

Joker nodded, "Yes flinch."

"I don't know what you're talking about I have not flinched once…" He was interrupted by the sound of a gun shot, and immediately Penguin screamed out.

Joker smiled and smacked Oswald's cheek playfully, "You haven't flinched? Really?" He revealed to Penguin that the gun was fake, twirling it in front of him as a flag rippled with the word 'HA!' written on it.

"You're crazy clown! Crazy!"

"Yea…it's so much fun too! But Cobblepot," Joker leaned close to his sweating face, "remember…watch your back, wherever you are, I'll be there. Watching your every move, your every step, your every everything. Even if you don't harm my girls in anyway at all, you made em' cry, I'll torture you for that. I'll make you squeal Oswald. Remember." He tone was incredibly dark and he spoke slowly.

Penguins face looked as if it were in horror, searching madly for a correct response, although none could possibly be found.

A shattering of glass broke the eerie silence, Penguin had jumped, but Joker stood and calmly turned to see Batman making a fantastic entrance once again.

"What's with the window breaking Batsy? It's so rude to be doing that, windows cost a lot these days don't you know that?"

Batman lunged at him grabbing onto his neck quickly with brute force, "You're going in Joker!"

"Oh goody where?" His voice was muffled but he still managed to laugh.

He however didn't seem too amused as he struggled with the clown beneath him. Batman managed to elbow him hard across the face as Joker was able to get his legs up to kick Batman off of him.

The vigilante flew back a few feet and Joker knelt down on his knees.

He could feel the warm blood fill his mouth. It began to seep from the small opened corners of his lips. He unclenched his jaw, allowing the blood and spit to flow across his chin, bubbling as it hit the cold floor of the room. He wiped away the stray liquid from his face, leaving a large stain on his glove. He looked at his now dark red fingers, how the blood seemed to become a deep black shade against its purple background.

It was so desirable.

His eyes grew narrow, and his once relaxed hand had now changed into an evil fist, his thumb running slickly across his knuckles as he peered dangerously at the bloody mess on the ground. He shot his head up, teeth grinding, his lips grinning madly. A sudden cast grew across his bloody face as the so called 'vigilante' neared him. Though he could only laugh, laugh as the blackness approached him.

A kick to the face from Batman's hard heel sent Joker backwards causing him to crash violently with a table in the lounge, "Come now Batsy that was a cheap shot, you know it!"

"You're going to back to Arkham Joker." He spoke low and out of breath.

Joker supported himself up slowly, being able to finally come to his feet but standing with help from the table, "But it's not much fun there…" He reached to his pocket for a weapon without Batman noticing and hurled it towards the Dark Knight.

Surprisingly, Batman wasn't quick enough to react, and the playing card was embedded into his stomach flesh. He stumbled backwards for a moment, he wasn't expecting that and it shocked him in a way.

Joker laughed loud and then hurriedly jumped towards the dazed Batman, taking him to the floor quickly, "Ouchy, that looked like it hurt buddy!" Joker struggled to gain dominance over him for a few moments, but was finally able to lock Batman's legs into a paralyzed position, "Now…what also _hurt_ was how you kicked me in the face…that was cheap. So, I'm here to make things fair."

He removed a gun from out of his pocket and slammed the butt of it against Batman's face repeatedly. Blood splattered, as Joker listened to the painful agony he was causing him. He had without a doubt broken Batsy's nose, maybe even his jaw during the horrific act of torture. Joker laughed as he watched his own blood drip onto the broken mans face. But Batman managed to slip one of his arms free from Jokers grasp and slammed his fist into Jokers eye socket.

Joker fell back, pawing at his already bruising and swelling eye, "Ouch…" he mumbled a laugh out.

Batman jumped up and made contact with Jokers side, kicking him harshly and causing him to flip over a few times.

Joker held his side and scrambled to stand up, but was met with another brutal message from Batman. He grunted and spit blood out of his mouth. He fell onto his back holding his stomach tightly and then looked up at Batman who peered down at him. Batman finalizing that he had won his battle bent down to cuff Joker, but not before becoming startled as the Clown Prince of Crime smiled his bloody teeth at him and began to laugh villainously.

He pulled away for a moment and stared at the red covered clown who was laughing maniacally, watching carefully as Joker raised his hand above his head and create a fist. He left the fist above his head for a moment, sticking the tip of his tongue out while laughing and creating a dramatic pause until his middle finger popped out and Batman sneered at him bending back down to finalize the battle.

Joker laughed harder at the reaction on his face and, when Batsy wasn't looking, slammed his heel against the floor activating a switch blade on his shoe. He swung his leg at Batman and felt the steel blade make contact with one of his ribs.

Batman jumped back and screamed in pain. Joker scurried to his feet and limped/skipped towards the exit laughing still, "Run run as fast as you can, you'll not catch me I'm the Joker man!"

Batman noticing his attempt at an escape quickly pulled out a gadget from his utility belt and shot it at Jokers feet.

The device had shot out a long cord that had caught onto Jokers pant leg, causing Joker to tumble forward and come in contact with the cement floor brutally with his jaw. A giant stream of blood shot out. Joker moaned for a brief second.

Batman cuffed Jokers hands behind him and tugged him up to his feet, "Next time don't say a get away slogan until you know you're away."

Joker smiled at him, blood cascading down his face, "Good tip!"


	17. Chapter 17

"So this is what the infamous Batmobile looks like!" Joker's good eye was simply amazed at the plethora of buttons in front of him, the sparkling and flashing lights presenting a fantastic show.

Batman kept quiet. He had secured Joker into the passenger seat with ease.

Joker adjusted his seating to stop the pinching of the cuffs on his wrists and then sighed, "You can at least provide some adequate conversational pieces." He looked over at Batman who kept his head and piercing eyes toward the road.

"What were you doing with Penguin?"

Joker nodded, "We we're…discussing some issues."

"Which would be?"

He couldn't help himself and let out a slight giggle, "Diamonds and such…" Joker sucked his cheeks in and felt a sharp pain spread through them.

"The Aquilius Amor Diamond? The one you stole six years ago?"

"Maybe…" Joker looked out the passenger window, "Why are you driving me to Arkham, usually you have the cops take me. I mean you called the cops for Penguin back there…" Then a small smile crept up, "I get the special treatment…"

Batman wiped his nose for it was still bleeding, "I had some questions for you."

"Questions for me? How thoughtful." Sarcasm rode in his tone.

"Where's Quinn at?"

Jokers stomach twisted into a knot, "She's safe and out of harms way."

Batman glanced over at him, Joker had been looking straight ahead this time. He could tell he seemed troubled by the mention of Harley, "And Danielle?"

Joker allowed his head to fall just a bit, "Safe now…"

"Now?" He replied back quickly.

"You know," Joker breathed heavily through his nose, "sometimes things get personal in a villains world. Some people just don't know what their limits are. Some people want to hurt others through a means of…negotiation if you will."

Batman actually seemed somewhat sympathetic towards him, "Who put the hit on your family Joker?"

"That Batsy is for me to deal with." He lifted his head back up and straightened his posture.

"I can help protect them while you're at Arkham." Batman spoke with a rapid swift.

Joker turned quickly towards him with an utterly confused expression, "What?"

"I can help…" He was quickly shut off.

"I can protect my own family. I can protect them at any cost. I don't need your help…you think just because you're on the good side that you have the right to offer help to me? No thank you!"

Batman turned his tone back to its original state, "I was only offering."

Joker sat still as he steamed tremendously. How dare that leathered freak offer him help to protect his family. He could do this on his own…he could.

But then he thought about Danielle, and his throat stung, he thought about Harley, and his eyes burned. When he thought about them together, his heart broke in two. He begged that they were going to be safe and pleaded with the weirdo that they would be alive when he escaped Arkham, if that were even possible this time around. He did need help.

Batman was the only way he could ensure safety to them without him being by his girls sides, but he couldn't come to terms with it...the only way he could accept Batman's offer was to manipulate himself into it. That could be done.

"Can you do me one thing Batsy?"

Batman looked over at Joker, "What?"

Joker pushed his shoulders back in a stretch and then relaxed, "Could you make sure Harley doesn't do anything that would get her taken in?" He looked away from Batsy, "Make sure she doesn't get taken away from Danielle?"

Batman knew what he was doing, and he knew Joker was fully aware that he would know. He let out a silent sigh, "Yes I can do that."

Joker's chest dropped in relief.

Batman saw how good a father Joker was to Danielle. He watched them from far away distances making sure that she was safe and protected. Batman's final decision was that Danielle changed Joker, maybe not from being a psychotic, but he changed somehow for the better. He was a damn good father.

They reached Arkham and Joker closed his eyes knowing once he got inside, contacting Harley would be almost impossible.

Batman saw Jokers reactions and knew what he was thinking, "You know Joker it could be possible to see Harley and Danielle on a daily basis."

Joker looked over at him as they walked up the entrance steps, although he limped badly due to his side being kicked in, "What do you mean? They don't allow me visitors or phone calls."

"If you behave well, they'll let you after a while."

Joker laughed, "You obviously don't know Arkham they would never give me those privileges back! Besides Harley says she never wants to get near this place again…probably humiliation from her former colleagues is all I could come up with. I also don't want Danielle coming here…"

"Harley would come."

"You know Batsy, she probably would." They stopped half way up the steps Joker panted from his bruising ribs, "You gave me quite the pounding back there." His face grimaced from the pain.

"You pissed me off."

Joker smiled and laughed, "I could tell."

They continued walking up the steps, Batman concealed a tight hold on Joker, "Would you like me to tell Harley about what happened?"

"Why are you being so kind, I must inform you that you are the one taking me in and all." Joker stopped and stared at Batman.

"I know what it's like to loose someone close to you. I see how much your daughter looks up to you and I don't want to be the guy who completely diminishes her relationship with her father." He tugged at Joker to continue walking.

Joker smiled, "I'd like that very much Batsy…she's at Ivy's."

They entered Arkham and like a wondrous routine at a play doctors and staff members took the clown and added him back into the inmate role, taking down information, testimonies, and other necessities.

Joker was once again introduced to his room and he sat in the corner of it, reminiscing about his conversation with Batman. It was so awkward and yet…it felt right.

Batman was asked questions about what happened, the basic questions he was asked every time he would bring someone into Arkham.

"Thank you Batman, you know how much we appreciate you getting him back in here."

Batman nodded and began to leave but stopped himself and turned back to the doctor, "Could you do me a favor?"

The doctor eagerly responded, "Of course anything!"

"Let Joker have his phone and visitor privileges replenished. I have a feeling he'll act a little more stable around here if he had them."

The doctor's eager face changed into confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Trust me."

"Well, I'm not sure about that." The doctor looked at Batman in question.

"If he acts out, take them away. Give him a chance."

He shook his head, "Alright, but only because you say so."

"Thank you." With that Batman left the asylum.

Batman traveled immediately to Ivy's location, he knew where she lived.

He also thought about the conversation the two of them had shared. It was truly different, he never remembered talking to one of his enemies in that regard before.

He parked the Batmobile in front of the house. He actually wanted to laugh, for once he wasn't breaking in through a window or coming down through the roof to enter someone's building, now he was knocking on the front door.

Ivy, Harley, and Danielle all sat on the living room couch munching on various snacks. They all seemed content, but deep down Harley was worrying about her Puddin'. A sudden knock on the door sent a jolt of worry through Ivy now, no one ever knocked.

"Stay here." Ivy ordered Harley, who in turn shook her head in a yes format.

Ivy grabbed some weapons of her own before proceeding to the front door. She peeked out through the peep hole and to her amazement she saw Batman standing casually.

Harley looked at Ivy, "Who is it?" she spoke in a low manner.

Ivy laughed, "It's Batman!"

Harley laughed too, "What does he want, he doesn't have anything on you does he?"

Ivy shook her head no, and then returned to the door, "What do you want?" She couldn't help but giggle, it was absurd to have Batman at her doorstep.

"I have information on The Joker that you may want to hear Harley."

Harley jumped up, "How did he know I was here?" she mouthed her question to Ivy who shrugged.

She motioned over to the door now, "Stay on the couch Danielle." She questioned Batman, "What information?"

"I'm not going to take you in I promise, open the door so we can speak."

Ivy's mouth fell open as she looked at Harley, "What do you think? Does he have anything on you?"

Harley responded, "No I haven't done a job in a long time, should we let him in?"

"I don't know." She spoke louder now toward Batman, "What do you have on Joker?"

Batman's voice was raspy, "He's back in Arkham Quinn."

Harley's eyes shot open and she reached for the handle to open the door. She studied Batman once she had opened it, "What?"

"I had to take him back in. He wanted me to tell you that."

Harley started to cry, "You took him back to Arkham? Why?"

"He needs to be there, I found him and Penguin at the lounge."

She nodded; she knew that she could do nothing now.

Danielle walked over to Harley and stood safely behind her leg peering around and up at Batman. Harley caressed the back of her head.

"Who are you?" Danielle's tiny voice sprang out from her little haven.

Harley bent down to her and kissed her forehead, "That's Batman, remember what we said about him?"

Danielle's purple eyes grew wide in amazement, "Yea…" she started to recall all the stories Joker had told her, "Daddy says you make him laugh."

Batman looked back at Harley, "I got his visiting privileges back, you can see him during visiting hours and you have nothing to worry about, they won't be listing you in as an inmate, they have nothing on you. And you can call him at any time."

"How did you get his privileges back?" She was astonished.

"That doesn't matter, I'm sure they aren't going to let him know that he got them back however. It might be nice to surprise him. I'm sorry but I had to take him back."

"No, I may hate you for it but it's what you do. Just like he goes around causing chaos…it's just what he does."

"He told me about the hit on you and Danielle, he in a way asked for me to keep an eye on you and her. I'll do my best. He didn't let me know who called the hit, do you know?"

"Penguin did, at least that's what he said to me." Harley rubbed her forehead.

Batman nodded at Ivy and then turned around to leave before hearing Harley call out, "Thanks for getting his privileges back."

He didn't stop and turn around, he only jumped into his vehicle and sped off.

Ivy closed the door, "Well, that was weird."

"Mommy was that really Batman?" Her voice was full of excitement.

"Yes, sweetie that was Batman."

"Whoa…" She walked away and sat on the couch. Danielle felt almost proud to now have a face to put to the mysterious bat her father always talked about.

Harley and Ivy laughed at first but then Harley got a little more serious, "What do I do?"

Ivy gave her a hug, "You go see him as soon as visiting hours start."

"They start at twelve, what time is it?"

"It's almost one o'clock."

Harley jumped and began to move around gathering her belongings to take on her visit to Arkham. That would be rather different; she hadn't been there since Joker had romantically stalked her.

"Ivy will you drive Danielle and I to Arkham?" She finished her gathering and then slipped a small purple coat over Danielle that matched identically to Jokers. Danielle had always insisted that she wear it outside during the colder months, it was her favorite.

"You want to go see daddy?"

"Yea!" She shrieked in joy.

"Alright let's go…you three are a screwed up family Harley…" Ivy shook her head, "Honestly you guys are."

Harley smiled, "Thanks Red."


	18. Chapter 18

Joker sat in the corner of his room. His knees were pulled in close to his chest besides the painful burn it caused in his sides. He rested his sore jaw upon his knees as he was slowly dozing off from the corruption around him. All he wanted was to talk to Harley and Danielle, but now that he was in Arkham he highly doubted that it would be even remotely possible. They hated him here, and they did whatever they could to make him hurt. Either physically or emotionally, it didn't matter as long he felt some amount of pain.

He glanced around the room with his good eye. Only one good thing had ever happened here at Arkham, and that was meeting Harley. He smiled and chuckled to himself, it was so ironic. He met the girl, _the perfect girl_, at Arkham Asylum. She hadn't been a patient, but his own doctor. He broke her, changed her, and loved her even. He pushed his head back against the wall and laughed. It was a game at first, just to see how quick he could break her, no doubt a hint of desire was there in his libido, but all the same it was just a game. Then that beautiful doctor of his showed signs of desire back, she hinted at it towards him. He had to have her, and that he did.

They made love, and had a beautiful baby girl. His baby princess Danielle was his world, his muse, his inspiration. His smile turned straight. Now he couldn't see her until he got out of here…

But he couldn't escape just yet, he was too hurt to risk anything. He would have to patiently wait, patiently wait the agonizing days to come before he could hear his sweet Harleys voice or see his precious daughters smile.

_Patience Joker…_

A guard knocked on the door and Joker looked up. He could barely make him out due to his blurred vision. The guard opened the door and then went over to where he sat, picking him up forcefully and cuffing the back of his hands together.

Neither one of them spoke, Joker knew what was going on.

After a moment of walking, Joker was shoved into a dark room he was oh so familiar with. He sat down on the chair located in the middle of the room and arched his aching back.

The guard entered with a few others and they plugged in a razor to the wall socket. Joker furrowed his brow, whatever they were doing it was new.

One man grabbed Joker's chin and locked it in his immense hand, Joker had no fight in him to resist. He only wanted to go to his room and slither into darkness.

He turned the razor on and immediately began to shave off Jokers hair.

_Why is he doing that?_

Once the man was finished a cold chill passed over Jokers now hairless head. A deep look was given to the guard who had done it, a look Joker gave to him that asked why?

But he kept quiet.

A different guard now approached the sitting Clown Prince of Crime. He swiftly took out his taser gun and pistol whipped him three times to the face. Joker let out a loud laugh as he hit him each time. That wasn't new in the least.

His nose began to bleed as he sat, and he just couldn't help but smile at the situation. Another guard came from no where and grabbed Jokers neck from behind him. He strangled Joker as a different guard kicked him in the stomach repeatedly.

Joker wanted to fight back, wanted to kill these guards, but that ruin his chances of escaping early. So he sat and laughed as he felt the mans heavy shoe kick again and again into his diaphragm, making him cough and spit up blood. He felt the other guard loosen his grip around his neck and then the guard who had been kicking him pulled away as well.

Joker could barely breathe, but he managed to take in short puffs of oxygen. He was then pushed over onto the ground where a guard instantly placed a foot onto his neck and seemingly applied pressure to it. Joker tried to squirm free but was then held down at the feet by someone he couldn't see.

The guard whose foot was being applied to Jokers neck took out his night stick and pushed the tip of it into Jokers cheek. Joker watched the man draw the stick back and then a hurried swat was made to his face with it. It was then repeated once more, causing a long shot of blood to flow out of Jokers mouth and spread evenly across the floor.

The man dropped down to Jokers face and grabbed the end of the night stick, pressing against Jokers forehead with it. He began to draw back and Joker kept his eyes opened. Not an ounce of fear was present on his white and red face. He watched the end of the night stick start to come down, he knew that if the guard hit him just right on the forehead, he could die…he would never see his girls again.

He was suddenly stopped by the sound of the door opening. Joker couldn't see who it was but he could hear his voice, "He has a visitor, clean him up…"

Joker watched the man jump off of him quickly, "He has a visitor? He doesn't have those privileges."

"He does now." With that he was picked up and dragged out of the room.

He couldn't see anything distinctly, only blurs and shades of blacks. He wondered if this was what it was like when he hit Harley's head too hard against the wall. She complained of not being able to see, he thought it might have been just an exaggeration. But now, he knew just how odd it felt to not have your full vision.

_Sorry Harl…_

His face was cleaned up, blood washed away, and was given a new suit to change into. This was odd, he had a visitor. He didn't really want to see who it was, probably just some news reporter trying to get in on the mystery behind him. That or Batman…he couldn't see them letting anyone else in to come and marvel at the captured clown.

Once finally cleaned he was tossed into a small room, he had never been in one of these rooms before. It was bright, yet dark in some parts, a tiny window in the upper corner of the room to allow an air flow, and a large two way mirror on the same wall as the door.

He sat down on the chair provided for him, and then he quietly rested his heavy head on the table in front of him. Two chairs sat on the opposite side of the table. He felt cold, he wanted his damn hair back.

He listened to the door open, but he didn't bring his head up. Joker kept his bare head placed on the icy cold table, his hands were now cuffed in the front and they lay on his lap. Whoever this person was, they could leave, he wanted no part of it, if they asked questions he wouldn't answer. He wouldn't.

Joker lifted his head up but didn't look at who his visitor was, he placed his cuffed hands onto the table now. He wanted to scream from the pain he was enduring, his breathing process hurt, his head hurt, his eyes and throat hurt…all he wanted was Harley and Danielle.

He wanted to hug them and kiss them and tell them just how much he loved them. The only two people he could trust in the world, and he couldn't protect them. For all he knew they were probably gone…_dead_…

That made his stomach churn, if they were gone…if both of them were gone…he would have no life. He would have no more reason to live. Without them, creating misery and chaos was nothing. They were his everything…his life.

He didn't hear any foot steps come into the room. He didn't hear the door close. Must be a news reporter, they always get shocked to see him.

Joker looked up now at the blurry figure, he had no idea who it was. His eye sight at the moment was unbelievably poor. Even out of his one good eye, he still couldn't make out the one taller figure, and the one shorter figure.

He looked down at the table near his hands, he wanted for these two people to just sit down so they could get this over with.

Then Joker heard something quite familiar, a small whimper, a small cry. He creased his brow and looked back at the figures. He narrowed his eye, straining to get a better look.

"Harley?"

Then he heard a louder cry and finally the door closed. He felt an unbelievable warmth swarm around him as the figure delicately wrapped their arms around his neck.

He wanted to cry when he finally knew who it was. He thought he would never be able to feel that oh so sweet body cascade around him again, "Harley!"

Harley cried into his neck. She didn't say anything, she just sobbed. She saw the cuts and bruises on his face, and his shaved head, what they did was not right, she knew Batman didn't do this.

"I thought I was never going to see you again…" He pushed his face into her sweet aroma, he could never get enough of that.

"What did they do to you?" Harley pulled away and cupped his cheeks gently.

Joker shook his head and smiled, "Doesn't matter, you're here now." He licked his bottom lip and coughed, and instantly after sucked in as much air as he could.

"You can barely breathe!"

"I'm okay." He lifted his cuffed hands to her face and brushed his trembling thumbs over her lips, "I thought you might be gone Harley." He sucked in more air, "Is Danielle safe?"

Harley motioned for Danielle to come closer, "She's right here Puddin'."

Puddin'. He smiled wide when he was able to hear that name again. He smiled so wide.

"Daddy?"

Joker looked around Harley and saw his baby princess emerge, it was like a sudden magical remedy cleared the blurriness in his eyes. He could see her so clearly, "Danielle!"

Danielle ran up to Joker and jumped up onto his lap, "Hi daddy!"

"Hello sweetheart…" He widened the area between his elbows, and then wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her on the forehead, and held back his tears.

Danielle pulled back and smiled at him, "What happened to your coat?"

He laughed and it hurt so bad, and hurt so well. All the things that were wrong with his body, the cuts, the scars, the bruises, the swelling, the bare head, and all his precious girl could ask was where his coat was.

"I thought that maybe…I should try gray for a while." He stopped to catch his breath, "What do you think?"

Danielle shook her head, "No, you need purple."

Joker smiled and embraced his daughter, "I love you Danielle, I love you so much."

"I love you too daddy."

Harley spoke up after a moment, "Dannie girl why don't you go back out to Ivy, okay? You can come see daddy again in a few minutes alright?"

She pouted her lips, "Okay…"

Joker removed his arms from her and she jumped down. Harley opened the door and watched her successfully reach Ivy.

Harley went back over to Joker and ran her hand over his head, "Why did they shave your hair off?"

"I don't know."

"Why did they abuse you?"

Joker shook his head and then ran his fingers down Harley's neck, "I don't know."

"What happened with Penguin?" She examined his black eye.

Joker smiled, "Why don't you just shut up and kiss me already Harl…honestly."

Harley let out a short laugh and leaned into him, sucking gently on his lips. She could taste the blood from his cut up mouth as she pushed her tongue lightly into it.

Harley pulled away after a few seconds.

"Why did you stop?" Joker looked at her with concern.

She smiled and patted his chest, "You needed to breathe, just by kissing you I can tell how much pain you're in…"

"Oh." He looked away from her, "You shouldn't have brought Danielle here."

Harley pulled the other chair around and next to him, "She wanted to see you." She sat herself down.

"I love you Harley." He spoke quietly, "I want to go home."

"I know Puddin'…I know you do." She scooted the chair closer to him and then leaned her head onto his shoulder, "You can cry…"

Joker pushed his head into her blond hair, "Why should I cry? I got to see my girls, and they aren't mad at me. You know, this is the second time you've saved me pumpkin."

Harley looked up at him, "Saved you?"

Joker leaned down and kissed her lips, "They were going to kill me in that back room. But then you showed up…again."

Her eyes shot him a look, "They were going to kill you?"

"They might have…they were pretty close to it." He nuzzled his head against hers, "But now you're here, and everything is fine. I have no idea how I got these privileges back…"

Harley wrapped her arms around his bruised waist, "You can thank B-Man for that…"

"Batman got me my privileges? Oh how he makes me laugh…"

Harley giggled, "He came and told me what happened, he said he'd keep an eye on us."

"Goodie, I'll send him a thank you card." He smiled up at the ceiling, "I don't know how long it will be until I can break out of here." Joker spoke more in a whisper.

"Build up your strength first, then we can worry about that."

Joker looked at her baby blues, "They'll beat me everyday I'm here. I won't be able to build up my strength."

"Fight back, show them whose boss." Harley rubbed his stomach tenderly.

"If I fight back, then they'll give me a shot of happy juice in the neck sweetie." He smiled as he leaned in closer to kiss her, but Harley playfully pulled back.

"You always said in our sessions together that you liked the happy juice."

Joker closed his eyes and rolled them back in his head, "It's like a continuous climax…"

Harley laughed, "Better than me?"

Joker opened his eyes quickly and looked at her seductively, "No, my sweet Harley has a _gift_…"

She shook her head, "I love you Puddin'…we'll get you out of here."

"We?"

Harley nodded and kissed him behind the ear whispering as she did, "I've got a plan…"


	19. Chapter 19

"A _plan_?" Joker turned around to Harley, he didn't look amused.

"Yea Puddin', shh…we don't want anyone to know."

He scrunched his face and shook his head, "No, let me deal with this."

"But Puddin'…"

"No, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to risk anything. If something happens to you, then what will happen to Danielle? Hmm? Did you think of that? Obviously not…"

Harley placed her hand down on his knee, "Right." She cleared her throat, "You know I love you…but I just wonder sometimes…"

He looked concerned, "What? You just wonder what?"

Harley ran her hand over his head, it felt odd not having his emerald green soft hair beneath her small fingers, "I just wonder what ever happened to you. You used to be so…ego ridden."

Joker stood up and turned his chair towards her and sat back down, "I finally found someone that was like me. I found someone that I could care for…" he positioned his latched hands onto her lap, "I didn't have anyone before I met you."

Harley wiped her eye and then leaned into his chest, "I'm sorry…and don't tell me not to be."

He kissed her head, "You aren't really supposed to be making much contact with me Harl."

"Fuck them…" She cried into his chest, "You wouldn't have cared six years ago!"

He hadn't really ever heard her curse, it was an emotional time when she did, "You…want me to be like my old self?"

"I want you to be psychotic!"

He wheezed out a laugh.

"I want you to be gutsy, I want you to take risks! That's the guy I loved…not this guy. I mean of course I _love _how kind and considerate you are towards Danielle and I…but honestly grow back your damn balls Joker!"

He pulled back and his smile was completely gone, "Harl…"

She pointed a finger at him sternly, "See! You would have beaten the shit out of me if I said that six years ago!"

"Harley…" He looked out the corner of his eyes.

"You say you want to protect us, withering away in Arkham isn't going to do that…"

His eyes darkened, "Harley."

She kept going, "You would have been able to protect Danielle and I, if you were more domineering." Harley stood up and began pacing the room, her arms flailing about, "Seriously, I mean really I love you Mistah J, a whole lot. But this isn't the guy I had my eyes on back then. You've grown…_soft_."

A heavy wheeze managed to escape from his chest, "Harley…sweetie…"

"Yea?"

He licked his lip, "Would you mind coming here for a moment?"

Harley noticed that flicker in his eye, he was pissed. And although she tried hard not to unleash her smile, it was of no use. A bitter sweet grin popped up onto her face, "I'm not going near you…"

Joker smiled, a blackness flowing about him, "Harley, baby, pumpkin pie!" He tilted his head to the side and breathed heavily.

She giggled, "No way Mistah J!"

"Come _here_. Now." He held up his hands and motioned a finger at her.

She took a step forward and then looked behind her, "I don't know. I think I'm in trouble."

"You _think_?"

"Yes."

He coughed suddenly, and brought his hands to his chest. He began wheezing greatly. Harley jumped into action towards him to make sure he was okay, "Puddin'?"

Joker instantly stopped his coughing and wrapped his arm around her neck into a tight hold, "Thanks baby." He kissed her hard on the lips, his breathing seemingly fine.

Harley gasped for air as he kissed her. It was wonderful and yet terrifying, he was finally back.

He loosened his chocking on her and then pulled away, "I liked your plan."

Harley smiled, "You figured out my plan huh?"

"Get me to feel like my old self…it was harsh and a large step to take, but Harley it feels pretty good to get angry. Making me feel like a pansy…truly witty, truly stupid. You know you'll get a good smack when I get home for those remarks."

"Glad to have you back Puddin'." She was released by his grasp and fell hard onto the floor.

"You like psychos do ya Harl?" He teased as he pressed against his sore diaphragm.

"Why do you think I wanted to be a physiatrist?"

Joker looked at her as she stood up, "Can you bring Danielle back in?"

Harley nodded and went to the door, "Dannie girl, come here sweetie…"

Danielle appeared and ran up to Joker. She smiled as she hugged graciously onto her father's leg, "Are you coming home with us daddy?"

"Not today baby, but soon I promise."

She squinted her tiny purple eyes, "Where's your hair?"

Joker took off his smile and raised his hands to his head, "What do you mean?"

"Your hair is gone daddy." A little bit of seriousness in her voice as she pointed to his head.

He let his mouth fall open, "Someone stole it Danielle!"

She threw her hands up to her cheeks, "Oh my goodness!" She turned to Harley, "Mommy, someone stole daddy's hair!"

"Right underneath my nose even!" Joker shouted out.

Danielle turned back to Joker a questioning appearance present, "Then how could they reach your hair…if they're under you nose?"

Joker and Harley laughed while Danielle stood in wonder at the marvelous question.

Harley stated, "That's a good question, maybe they took it while he was sleeping."

"When you were sleeping?" Shock vibrated through her tone, "How rude!"

Joker leaned forward and kissed Danielle's forehead, "You're a silly little woman."

"Daddy, can't you come back home now. What if they steal something else?"

He sighed, "I know, what if they steal my nose?" he covered his nose with his hands and Danielle giggled in delight.

"What if they steal…your ears!" She shouted enjoying the game and threw her little hands up to cover Jokers ears.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled at her.

Harley spoke up through laughter, "What if they took daddy's smile?"

Danielle gasped, "Daddy you have to come home now! They might take your smile!"

"No one can take daddy's smile sugar pop. I've got you…and I've got mommy…no one can steal daddy's smile." He felt small arms wrap around his stomach.

"I love you daddy. But if your smile gets stolen, don't come cryin' to me!"

Joker looked up at Harley, "She's been hanging around Ivy too much."

Harley shrugged and smiled from the beautiful view of the two embracing. The only problem was that Joker was in his gray Arkham jump suit, and he wasn't at home, they weren't at home as a family.

A guard entered, "Visiting hours are over, you'll have to leave now."

Harley nodded, "Alright we'll be out in just a minute." The guard shrugged and exited.

A look of worry flooded Jokers face. He was having a great time and didn't want them to leave, "Will you come back tomorrow?"

Harley made her way over to Joker and kissed the top of his head, "Yes, and you need a tan, your head is blinding me."

He chuckled and looked up at her, receiving a warm kiss from Harley, "I'll work on it."

Joker looked back down at Danielle, her eyes were beginning to fill with tears, "Hey, don't cry baby princess."

"Why can't you come home?"

Joker hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "I just can't…I'm sorry I can't explain why Danielle…I just can't." He kissed her nose, "I'll be home, _before you know it_, _trust_ daddy okay?"

She nodded and pulled away, "Alright."

Harley stroked Jokers back as she grabbed onto Danielle's hand and then the two of them began to leave.

A guard entered as they were leaving, "Alright back to your room, hands out."

Joker obliged watching his two girls leave him again.

The guard undid his cuffs, and then brought them to his back and re-cuffed him. He was violently pushed in front of Danielle's watching eyes, "Easy, my kid is watching. You can do whatever you want after she can't see me anymore."

"You don't deserve to have a kid you monster."

Joker managed to get a long breath in, "Watch it…"

The guard started walking Joker back down the hall way to his room. Harley and Danielle glanced at him as they signed out on the visitor clipboard. Danielle suddenly burst away from Harley's hold, "Danielle get back here!"

Joker felt a tightening on his leg and he looked down to see Danielle tightly holding her father's leg, "Please daddy! Come home!"

He knelt down, "No, baby, I can't…"

The guard spoke, "Come on let's go."

"Hold on just give me a minute." Joker basically pleaded to the guard.

Danielle squeezed harder around his leg, "Dannie girl go to mommy."

Harley rushed over to them, "Danielle come here."

The guard grabbed Danielle by the coat and began to pull her away from Joker. He wasn't too happy about that, "Don't touch my kid…" He spoke just loud enough for the guard to hear, although he didn't let up.

"No daddy!" Danielle was crying now, tears running wildly down her cheeks.

Harley finally made it over to them and grabbed onto Danielle's waist, "Come on sweetie."

The guard pulled out a taser gun and aimed it onto Harley and Danielle, "Alright don't move, I'm going to have to make sure this wasn't just some set up. I'm not stupid."

"You get that taser…aimed away…from my family." Joker spoke as he could see shock in Harley's eyes.

"Not until I see another guard come by so they can frisk them."

Ivy stood up after hearing the commotion, "What the hell is going on?"

"Sit down!" The guard felt like he was loosing the situation. He slammed Joker up against the wall, still keeping his taser aimed at Harley and Danielle.

"Daddy!"

The guard yelled at her, "Shut up! Everyone keep quiet!"

Joker's stomach jumped. Something deep within him became unleashed, something he hadn't felt for five years. He warned the guard, "Do not talk in that tone or manner to my kid, I'm warning you."

"A threat? Good, now at least we have something to beat you up for. You probably beat that poor kid anyways you sick fuck."

_That's it…_

Jokers eyes dilated as his lids narrowed around them. Harley remembering that look slowly backed away with Danielle safely enclosed in her arms.

Even Ivy remembered that glare from previous jobs.

Joker barred his teeth as the side of his face was pushed up against the wall. He laughed for a moment catching the guard…off guard…and then knelt down quickly and thrust the guard's key into his leg.

The taser gun went off at the wall and a loud painful moan was shot out from the wounded officer. Joker hovered over the fallen man, "You really should conceal your keys."

The guard lowered his hand down to his belt and grabbed his walkie-talkie, but Joker shoved his foot onto his mouth, "Ah ah ah, no back up!"

He pushed his head to one side with his heel, and then rapidly turned it back the other way with the toe of his shoe, causing the mans neck to break instantly.

"Yay daddy!"

He smiled at his daughter…she was actually cheering him on, "Ivy! Grab his keys and unlock my cuffs, quick!"

Ivy ran over and started fumbling with the keys to find the right one, "Harley, go! Take Danielle and go!"

Harley picked Danielle up and ran out the door. Ivy finally after about six tries found the right key, "Take those keys with us, they may come in handy!"

The two ran outside, Joker coughing and gasping for air as they went, "You know I've never broken out so quickly…and I even used the front door…hmm…makes you think huh?"

"Enough clown! Come on, no time for jokes!"

He laughed as they finally entered the car, "Oh Pammy, always time for jokes!"

Suddenly a large explosion was heard followed by the sound of sirens and the smell of smoke.

All three of the girls looked at him in silence, he had his hands behind his head relaxed in the back seat, "What?"

Harley eyed him, "Did you set that explosion?"

"Maybe…"

Ivy started to drive them away shaking her head, "Did you plan on breaking out all along?"

He wiped his nose, "Maybe…"

Danielle snuggled into her father's side, "Daddy?"

"Yes baby princess?" He looked down at her.

"How can someone steal your hair?"

_I'm so glad I'm with my family again…so glad…_


	20. Chapter 20

Joker leaned down and cradled Danielle lovingly, "Are you okay Dannie girl?"

Danielle giggled into Jokers chest, "Yup!"

"I told you sweetie, before you know it huh?" He stroked back her blond and fair hair, he couldn't help but laugh as he noticed the alluring twinkle in her little purple eyes.

She bit her bottom lip and laughed as Harley tickled her sides unexpectedly. Joker watched in admiration, he loved them so much. He kept bringing up the sad reality of what he once thought six years ago. That he could never love anyone and now astonishingly, he had not one love but two. Harley was right, he would have beaten her six years ago, he would have made her blood poor. But now he just wanted to hold them, to show how much he loved them. He smiled, of course for the sake of Harley he would do it in moderation, she liked that kind of thing…_and so did he_.

"Harley." He spoke profoundly but quiet as she looked up from her tickle war.

Her eyes too sparkled with great passion, "Yea?"

Joker reached out to her with his vivid white hand and held her cheek, "Thanks."

Harley held his hand with her own and then went towards him for a kiss that he didn't deny in the least. Danielle sat between them and looked up at her parents with a humble little look of disgust, "Ewww, mommy you'll get cooties that way."

They both smiled as they kissed each other listening to their daughter's remark. Joker held Harleys cheeks with both hands and bit her lips ever so lightly while Harley wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so glad your out of there, I hate Arkham."

Joker pulled away from the kiss, "I don't care for it much myself Harl." He stroked Harleys cheek tenderly, "I love you Harl."

She smiled broadly, "I love you too Joker."

Ivy looked at them from the rear view mirror, "Could you please keep the fluff down, you two are going to make me sick up here."

"Just because you don't have a guy as good as I am, doesn't mean you have to ruin our enjoyment Pammy." Joker kept his glare in Harley's eyes and he couldn't help but laugh at how much they sparkled when he was in them.

"Please," Ivy rudely stated, "don't flatter yourself in my presence, it too makes me sick."

Danielle let out a short laugh, "What about me? I want kisses!"

Joker and Harley both bent down towards her and kissed her cheeks, Joker on the left and Harley on the right. Ivy also saw this, "Hey that would make a fantastic Christmas card…" she coughed and proceeded, "Just take out the clown guy and you're good to go."

"You're lucky we're in front of Danielle or I'd personally rip…"

Harley threw her hand over Jokers mouth, "Stop…" He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest and Harley shook her head slowly, "Are you going to stop?"

She took her hand away to let him speak, "If she does…" he tapped his finger on his arm, "She started it anyways."

"Bastard." Ivy muttered to herself but Joker caught it.

"Bitch."

Harley now threw her hands over Danielle's ears and waited patiently for the argument to subside.

"Oh just go fuck yourself already!" Ivy hit the steering wheel hard with the palms of her hands

Joker laughed, "Now Pammy, we both know that you'd rather just fuck me yourself…"

Ivy's body lurched forward and she simultaneously threw up on the dash board. Harley gasped and shot away from the view in repulsion. Joker leaned to the side and peered around the driver's seat, "I knew you were never fond of me, but now I know to what extent...really how vulgar."

"Shut up!" Ivy pulled to the side of the road and the sound of Jokers laughter filled everyone's ears to their fullest capacity. She jumped out and began to walk wearily towards a group of trees.

Joker looked over at Harley who gave him the evil eye and he tossed his hands up into the air, "Like I knew she was actually going to throw up…"

"You didn't have to keep the argument going!" She smacked him across the face and his evil persona flickered relentlessly.

"Don't you dare hit me like that you spoiled little comic!" Joker threw his hand over to Harley and grabbed her throat.

Danielle wasn't looking at her parents, thankfully, but she was looking at the dash board, the vomit filled dash board, "Mommy, I don't feel good."

"You pushed me in that visitor's room, and now you got what you wanted right? Psychotic Joker with psychopathic tendencies…don't say you wanted it and then throw it away Harl." Her eyes were overflowing with fear, Joker hadn't grabbed her throat like that in front of Danielle…ever.

He smiled and pulled Harley closer to him and kissed her lips while he strangled her, "I don't know why I stopped being my old self pumpkin, it feels fantastic, thanks for reminding me. I guess I was just scared of loosing you two, no worries, Joker's back in town!"

Harley smiled too for some reason as she listened on, "Don't you fret, I won't hurt Danielle. But I will be a little _less lenient towards you_…I know you like that though. Right my sweet Harley?" He let go of her throat.

She nodded with glee and wrapped her arms around his neck whispering at an unbelievably low level into his ear, "You have no idea how much I want you right now Mistah J."

"Daddy?"

Joker looked down at her, "Yes sugar pop?"

Her nose twitched and then she held her tiny stomach and threw up on Jokers Arkham pants. Joker laughed, "Looks like it'll have to wait Harl."

"I'm sorry daddy." Danielle wiped at her mouth.

Joker opened the door and got out, "Oh, that's okay baby princess! Look no harm done." He reached back in and ran his fingers through Danielle's hair, "It's okay kiddo. Harley do you have your cell on you?"

Harley nodded and handed it to him, she watched as he pushed away at buttons. Finally he brought the phone up to his ear, "Bring the chopper to the phone's location. Oh well I'll explain after we get home." He hung up and handed the phone back to Harley, "Where's Ivy at?" he asked in a discrete manner.

She emerged from behind a few bushes, "I'm back sorry, I just needed to take a quick walk to get my stomach back in order."

Joker smiled with concern, "Sorry about that, didn't mean for you to get sick."

"Don't make me get sick again with this acting sweet thing your doing right now." Ivy leaned against the car, and soon Harley and Danielle got out as well.

Joker walked over to where Harley and Danielle stood, "Dannie girl, you want to ride in daddy's helicopter?"

Danielle jumped up and down, "A helicopter! Yea!"

Ivy looked at him with ferocity, "What's the matter with my car?"

"Well, their just so happens to be throw up everywhere inside. Both front and back seats, Danielle got sick too. So I figured it might be nice to go home in a non smelly environment."

Joker shuffled his feat across the dirt located on the side of the road. He smiled and whistled a tune only him and Danielle knew about. She joined in with a hum.

Harley picked up Danielle, "What ya hummin' silly girl?"

"It's a secret I can't tell you." She smiled brightly as Joker approached them.

"Yea Harl, keep out of it…" He grabbed Danielle and kissed her on the nose, "Our little joke huh sugar?"

She dug her face into his shoulder and closed her eyes, "Yup…but mommy and I have a secret too."

Joker looked over at Harley with surprise, "Oh really?"

"Yup, you aren't the only one that has time with their daughter." Harley snickered at him.

He turned his attention back to Danielle, "If you tell me I'll give you a cookie when we get home."

Danielle shot her eyes over to Harley, who shook her head in a no, "No…"

"Hmmm…" he tapped his chin enjoying the time with his family, "How far away is Christmas?"

"Three weeks!" Danielle replied animatedly.

Joker clucked his tongue repeatedly and let his eyes flow up to the sky, "What if I get you a very special gift for Christmas?"

"What is it?"

He laughed, "I can't tell you though, but I promise it's a really good gift. Trust daddy."

Danielle again looked over at Harley for assistance, she was a given a yes indication, "Okay, you promise it's really good?"

He placed his hand over his heart, "On my jokes."

"Whoa Dannie girl, it must be something extra special then huh?" Harley laughed at her daughter's expression.

"So, little miss silly, do we have a deal?" Joker pinched her chin lovingly.

Danielle giggled, "Okay deal."

Ivy smiled to herself as she watched the odd family converse and enjoy each others company. She decided that Joker wasn't actually that bad of a guy, he was a great father to Danielle and Harley thought the world of him. Something about having a family, she figured, must change you.

"Spill DD…" Joker smiled at her.

She looked at her mother but spoke to Joker, "It has to do with…" She paused and kept quiet.

Joker took his smile away and shook her just enough to get a small laugh out of her, "Hey…keep up your end of the deal sugar pop."

"Guess daddy!"

He rolled his eyes but smiled, "Alright, it has to do with…hmm…" he snapped his fingers, "I got it! It has to do with explosions right?"

She scrunched her face, "Noooo."

"Darn…" He scratched his forehead and bounced Danielle just a tad, "How about Poodles?"

She laughed, "Poodles?"

Harley shook her head as all four of them looked up in the sky to see the helicopter nearing.

"Not poodles eh?" He felt Harley wrap her arm around his waist and lean her head on his shoulder, "How about elevators?"

Harley burst out in laughter and Danielle looked at both of them questioningly, "Nooo…you're a bad guesser daddy."

"Well," he sighed a wheeze out, "you'll just have to tell me then."

The helicopter landed about three hundred feet away from them, thank goodness they were in an incredibly low traffic area, even then Joker wouldn't care if people saw his chopper or not. Joker covered Danielle up in his arms and walked her over to the immense helicopter and then stepped inside. Harley waited patiently as he secured Danielle safely into a seat. Joker, when he was finished with Danielle, grabbed Harley by the waist and lifted her up as well. He waited for her to get comfortable in her seat until he turned around and, like the true gentlemen he was, offered to help Ivy up.

He stuck his hand out for Ivy to grab, "Don't worry it doesn't bite I swear!" He spoke just loud enough for her to be able to hear, due to the choppers noisy antics.

Ivy cleared her throat and took his hand, she half expected a joy buzzer to be present but greatly none was in attendance. He lifted her up and showed her to a seat which she took quickly.

"You know Joker, I'm just not feeling the same around you without that miserable green hair you have." Ivy laughed and soon the rest did as well.

The helicopter took off and Joker made his way to the pilot, "Go to Ivy's we need to drop her off."

"Yes Boss."

Joker went back to his companions and smiled as he kneeled down and unlocked a small locker that was underneath Danielle's seat. He pulled out his trademark suit and waved it passionately in the air as he stuck his tongue out. He rushed back to the front where the pilot was and sat in the passenger seat. Joker tore his Arkham top and bottoms off and then dressed with great speed into his suit. He sighed happily as he made his way back to his girls.

"I feel better!" he tugged at his lapels and then tossed the Arkham clothing out the chopper.

Harley's sex-drive turned on, seeing her man in his suit was just too much. She always was a sucker for a man in formal wear.

Joker knew what it did for Harley, and he laughed in spite of it. He made his way over to Danielle and knelt down in front of her, "So how about that secret?"

"I saw Batman!"

Joker looked at her with great approval, "You saw Batman!"

Her head nodded and she smiled, "Yea."

"That is a pretty good secret…what was he like?" He held onto her sides looking up at her.

"He was black, and had pointed ears, and he spoke all low and funny."

Joker squeezed her lightly, "That sounds like Batsy…you can tell me more about him later okay sugar pop?"

"Okay."

Joker looked seductively at Harley with extremely quick reflexes. She turned her head straight and closed her eyes, she knew this was coming and she bit her bottom lip to fight back the smile she was beginning to show.

"Oh Har-ley…" Joker playfully sang out, and he began to slide himself over to where she sat.

He watched her cover her spectacularly gorgeous face up with her hands, and although he knew she was embarrassed he also knew she loved the attention she was getting. Ivy and Danielle both laughed as they watched Jokers act of affection unfold.

Joker rested his chin on her knees and waited patiently for her to reveal herself, "Harley…"

Her words were mumbled, "You're embarrassing me Puddin'!"

"You don't want to come out and play with The Joker?" he tilted his head and now pushed his cheek onto her knees, "You always said you wanted to play with The Joker." He let his hand rub the back of her leg, "I know how much you like a guy in a suit Harl…especially if it's purple."

She quietly laughed, "Puddin'! Not now, not in front of Ivy and Danielle!"

Joker looked over his shoulder at Ivy, "Do you have a problem with me lovin' my girl?"

"Not at all." Ivy replied with a smile.

"Ivy!" Harley still covered her face, her body lightly convulsing from her laughter.

"What about you Dannie girl, do you mind if daddy loves mommy?"

She threw her arms up in the air, "Daddy is supposed to love mommy!"

He smiled warmly and drew his interest back to Harley, "You see, they don't mind. They both agree that it's okay…now come on let me see that damn beautiful face I _always_ dream about."

Harley slowly withdrew her hands but she didn't look at him. She still bit her lip to stop the smiling, and she didn't really understand why she was fighting back his friendliness, but she felt it was needed.

"Boy, I sure do wish those baby blues would come and give me a look over." He kissed her knee and then kept his lips on them while he looked up at her.

"This can't just wait until later?" She pushed her hand against her forehead and finally gave Joker a look.

He whistled, "What beauty! What exquisiteness! What splendor!"

Harley threw her hands up to her face again and muffled her laughs, "Stop it!"

Joker scooted closer to her and placed his hands on her hips, his chest now leaned against her knees, "Don't hide your perfect beauty my Clown Princess of Crime…"

She took her hands away from her face and slapped them down onto her thighs, "Happy?" she gave him a loving look.

"Oh…very happy Harley. Very _very_ happy." He straightened himself up and ran his hands to her waist and then stopped, "I knew you just couldn't resist me now that I have my suit on huh baby?"

"Not in front of Danielle at least! Please!" She rubbed her brow smiling madly.

Joker kept his right hand on her waist but allowed his left hand to glide up to her chin, "You have the greatest smile Harl, that's what got me. The moment I saw that smile I was hooked!" he ran his thumb across her lips, "I saw that smile, and those eyes, and knew you were perfect for me." Joker now stood up bringing his face just inches from hers, "You're the greatest girl I could have ever thought to meet." He pondered his statement, "No that's not right…your _better_ than anything I could have _ever_ _dreamed_ about meeting."

Harley let a tear escape her eye and then she whispered to him, "I am an easy target for guys in suits." She leaned in closer to him, not even an inch separating the boundaries of their lips, "Especially purple." Joker smiled and kissed her passionately letting his lips eat away at hers.

Danielle clapped her hands together, "Yay daddy!"

Ivy shook her head in bewilderment, she was actually excited about the show of love Joker brought onto Harley and it had been so sweet of him. She decided she was going mad.

Joker released his kiss, "I meant every word my sweet Harley." He pecked her forehead and then stood up to his fullest ability, "Well, I talked to Danielle." He bowed to his daughter, "I've talked to Harl." He then bowed to Harley, "Hell I've even talked to the pilot…looks like it's you next Pammy!"

Her smile vanished in an instant, "Hell no!"


	21. Chapter 21

Joker grabbed onto the support bars located on the ceiling of the helicopter and spoke caringly to Ivy, "Oh come on Pammy…"

"Look, I think it's great of you to be so kind to your family, but me? No thank you."

"But I insist!" He flew over to where she was and sat himself beside her, "Can't leave you hanging without attention that would be just plain rude."

Ivy kept her view on Harley, "Please control this thing next to me Harley, I feel like I'm going to be sick if it gets any closer."

Joker laughed and scooted closer to her and immediately Ivy covered her mouth. Joker jumped back, "Okay okay…"

He stood up and looked out of the helicopter. He noticed that they were hovering above Ivy's house, "Ivy…this is your stop!"

"Where are you going to land at? I don't see a bare spot anywhere." Ivy also stood up from her seat and peered out at the land below.

"You jump!" Joker jumped to emphasize his statement.

"What do you mean jump?"

He grabbed a parachute from the wall, "You put this on, and jump of course!"

Ivy narrowed her eyes at him, "I'm not jumping…"

He rolled his eyes in boredom, "Fine, always ruin my fun." He then skipped over to where the pilot sat, "How low can you get?"

He swayed his head side to side in thought, "In this area? I guess pretty close to the ground, within fifty feet of it at least."

Joker patted his back, "Make it happen." He returned to Ivy and smiled graciously, "We can get fifty feet to the ground and then we can lower you in the safety basket."

"Sounds good." She replied with brief sense of hastiness in her voice.

The helicopter slowly lowered over her house, and she walked over to Harley and gave her a hug, "Keep safe okay kid?"

"I will, thanks for your help Red." Harley released from the hug and gave her a quick nod.

Joker helped Ivy into the safety basket and she was lowered to her house with success. She got out of the basket and waved up at the three of them.

"Bye bye Ivy!" Danielle yelled out as Joker held her tightly in fear she might fall.

"Come here baby girl." Joker picked her up and sat her back in her seat.

The helicopter took off after they saw that Ivy had made it safely into her house, "Now we go home daddy?"

"No not yet DD." Joker looked over at Harley who smiled adoringly at him, "How about a vacation girls?"

Harley cocked her head, "I think that sounds great. We can't go home anyways right? Too dangerous now that you just escaped from Arkham, you need to hang low."

Joker sat down next to Danielle and pushed her into his side. He motioned for Harley to come over and sit as well, "Correct Harl, so why not spend our time hiding in style?"

Harley pushed into his side, "Where are we going to go?"

"Well…" He cleared his throat, "where would you like to go?"

Harley had a flash of images plummet into her mind and a small look of glee spread across her delicate face, "I don't know."

Joker leaned his head against her temple, "You don't know? With that little look of excitement, I think you know right where you want to go."

Harley blushed, "Can we go back to the beach front? I loved it there and we only got to stay for a few days."

Joker nuzzled his cheek against Harleys, "Of course pumpkin. We can go back there."

Danielle dozed off while they were talking and Joker had noticed, "Hey Danielle?" when there was no response from her he looked back to Harley with a little shimmer in his eye.

She giggled, "What?"

"Nothing…" he eyed her in an amorous matter, "Do you know how scrumptious you look?"

"Why are you so touchy feely?" she kissed his forehead and allowed him to run his hand against her abdomen.

He pressed his face into her neck, "I _missed_ you."

"I missed you too Mistah J."

Joker pulled out of the fondness and stood up, "I'll be right back." He walked over to the pilot who became aware of his bosses arrival after a few short moments.

"Where to now Boss?"

Joker placed his hand on the back of the pilot's seat, "Location number nine." He turned to leave but stopped, "Oh and make sure to call in for someone to decorate the house up for Christmas and all that. Also tell them to bring our belongings over there, we won't be returning home for a while due to the break out. Don't forget Bud and Lou either." He walked away to return to Harley.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the helicopter wall as he realized that Harley had dozed off as well, "That's a fine how do you do."

Joker sat down in one of the seats that were across from them. His eyes were fixated as he watched them absorbedly, he knew they were his life.

A quiet humming noise made its way into Jokers hearing path, and he perked up his body in response to it. He went over to the opening in the helicopter and peered out, "Shit!"

Joker ran up to the pilot, "We've got company my friend!"

The pilot shot a look back towards where Joker stood, "What?"

"By the looks of it…_Pengy_." He added a deep and non hesitant hatred to the bird's name.

The pilot nodded his head and began to flick switches on and off, "How did they find us?"

Joker didn't wait around to chit chat with his pilot, he instead ran back to Harley and Danielle, "Wake up! Harley! Wake up!"

Her eyes were already glazed over, "What?"

"Give me your ring." Joker threw his hand out to hers and waited impatiently for her to give it to him.

Harley slipped the ring from her finger and pressed it into his palm, "What's going on?" she reached over to Danielle and picked her up, pressing her gently into her chest.

"Penguin somehow found our location." He searched with extreme pace through the lockers on the chopper.

She looked out and noticed a black and white helicopter approaching them, "I thought he was in jail."

"Obviously not." He found two parachutes and handed one to Harley, "Put this on." He started to apply one of the parachutes to himself.

"Are we going to jump?" Harley looked at him with great concern.

Joker shook his head, "No, but things could turn sour and I'd like to know that just in case one of us gets tossed out accidently, we have a reassuring bag on our backs to save us."

She sighed and slipped the parachute onto her, "Is life ever slow with you?"

"I told you that life will always be fun with me!" he smiled triumphantly as Penguins chopper came up to the side of them.

Penguin could be heard over a loud speaker, "Give me the diamond!"

Joker chuckled and grabbed the microphone for his speaker, "Not even a hello?" He laughed hard into the microphone, "You want it that bad huh? Well, I guess you can have it."

Harley looked over at Joker skeptically but did not permit herself to speak. Danielle had now awakened and watched the show excitedly.

Joker pulled a gun like object out from underneath the pilot's seat. He brought himself back into the view of Penguin and shot a line over to his enemy's chopper, it hooked cleanly onto the landing gear.

"What the hell are you doing?" Penguin yelled out to Joker, but he only laughed in answer to his fervor.

Joker now withdrew a small bag from one of the lockers. He tossed the ring into the bag and then grabbed a pair of hand cuffs from a large kit he had found earlier. _Always prepared…_

He hooked a cuff to one of the handles on the bag and then knelt down and wrapped the chain around the wire he had shot across to Penguins helicopter. He secured the other part of the cuff to the other handle on the bag and took his hands away from it watching the sack dangle carelessly on the wire alone.

Joker smiled and looked back at his pilot who had been waiting tolerantly for Jokers next command. Joker nodded instructively and the pilot instantly began to rise higher in the air so that they were slightly more elevated compared to Penguin.

The wire now created a downward slope to where Penguin stood and the sack slid smoothly over to his presence.

"There you are Pengy! Diamond's all yours, now leave me the hell alone would you? Someone might think you have a crush on me. I mean you always follow me around, and you won't leave me alone...you're like my very own stalker!" He chuckled and cut the line loose after Penguin took the diamond out of the bag.

He examined it and then placed it into a secure case, which upon he locked up with vast care, "Great doing business with you Joker!" as promised he ordered his own pilot to steer away from the clown.

Harley's mouth was agape, "You just gave him the diamond?" she looked at him as if he had just given away a billion dollars to a billionaire. "I thought you said you would never give up your belongings?"

Joker didn't pay her any attention and went straight to Danielle, "Well good morning! Did daddy wake you up baby princess?"

Danielle smiled out a yawn.

"Hello?" Harley tapped her foot on the floor.

Joker finally smiled at her and reached out for her hand. Once he had her hand in his own, he slid the ring back onto her finger, "No of course I wouldn't give him what belonged to me." He kissed her palm, "Stupid old bird probably won't figure out that the diamond I gave him is worthless for quite some time I suppose."

Harley pressed her hand against her forehead and let out a small grin, "You're somethin' else."

"That's what I hear…" he let his eyes travel around.

"Hey daddy?" Danielle spoke up quietly as she rubbed her eyes.

Joker looked at her with his full awareness, "Yes?"

"That man in the helicopter…he was the one who came into my room."

He smiled and combed her hair with his gloved fingers. So Penguin did act alone, he was right on the nose with his accusation. He let out a high pitched laugh and held his daughter soothingly, "His name is Penguin, but I want you to call him Oswald."

"Why do you want me to call him that?" her voice resembled Harleys although extremely underdeveloped, just the same Joker could notice the familiarity.

"I want you to call him that because it's _such_ a funny name." he tapped her nose with compassion.

Danielle yawned again as Joker picked her up laughing low and soothingly this time. He rubbed her back through the small purple jacket she was so fond of, "Aw, are you tired my sweet mini jester?" Joker kissed her cheek and then stroked it with the back of his hand.

She squirmed to get comfortable in his arms and then gave a quick indication of 'yes' with a nod. Danielle burrowed into Jokers neck and talked quietly as she dozed off again, "I love you daddy."

He smiled warmly, "Daddy loves you too sweetheart." Joker rested his head against hers and hummed softly to the theme of Hush Little Baby.

Harley came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and grinned as she remembered the day they had found out that she was pregnant with Danielle. The way Joker had knelt down and sang to her tummy, the way he cried in joy, it was everything Harley could have wanted. She didn't want anyone else besides him, _couldn't_ _want_ anyone besides him because he was the greatest father to Danielle and lover to her that she could have ever hoped for. She had no doubt about that.

"Hey daddy?" Danielle asked peacefully.

He ran his fingers through her ponytail and responded in his usual tone, "Yes?"

"That man, Oswald? I don't like him, he scares me."

"Oh Dannie girl, that silly old bird? You have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to him. As long as daddy is around, then you're as safe as can be. Trust daddy right?"

She pushed her head against his chest, "Trust daddy."

"Atta girl." He felt Harley reach up and kiss the back of his neck and he in chorus turned his head to the side and gave her a charming look.

Harley patted his tummy and whispered to him, "Cute."

"Didn't we have this discussion before Harl, the word is adorable not cute." He let out a chuckle and then turned around to face Harley, "You're the cute one anyways."

Harley opened her mouth and stuck her finger in it as if she was going to puke from the high level of sappiness.

"Well you are…" Joker turned back around.

She smiled and leaned in on his back, "What are you going to do when Penguin finds out that the diamond isn't the right one?"

"Don't worry about that pumpkin pie."

"What if he shows up at the house again?" Harley pointed this out and Danielle seemed to get upset.

"I don't want him to come back…" Her eyes filled with tears.

Joker wiped them away, "What did I tell you sweet stuff, trust daddy."

"Alright." She pushed her head back into its haven.

Harley turned Joker around and looked up at him, "How are you going to deal with him?"

Joker looked out of the helicopter and noticed that they were about to land at the beach front home. He laughed and the vibration shot through his body like an echo, convulsing to one end of his being to the other. He sang into Danielle's hair, in the Hush Little Baby beat, while he looked sinisterly at Harley.

"_And if that stupid bird comes near…daddy will indisputably fill him with fear"_


	22. Chapter 22

Harley gave Joker a quick glance and then laughed.

"What?" Joker jumped out of the now landed helicopter with Danielle safely in his grasp, he held out his hand for Harley to take.

She took it with great appreciation and he helped her down off the helicopter. She shook her head, "Your rhyme was a bit scary…"

He wrapped his free arm around Harley, "I know!"

The three of them made way to the house. When they entered it Joker spoke quietly to Harley, "I'm going to go put Danielle down for a nap, I'll meet you in our room?"

"Yea, I'll meet you there."

Joker went away to accomplish his announcement while Harley walked up to the immense window that overlooked the sea. Snow had just now started to fall, and she noticed the odd swirling patterns of how they were gently cascading onto the sandy beach. She sat down on the couch that faced the window and crossed her arms across her chest releasing a burden filled sigh all the while. Harley bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes shut. She brought one hand up to her forehead and held it there while tears slowly made their way to her cheeks.

"Harley?"

"Just a minute Puddin'."

Joker sensed the sadness in her voice and appeared behind the couch after a moment, "Harl?"

Harley tried to hide her tears but was unsuccessful after a short sniffle had escaped from her. Joker immediately hopped over the back of the couch and landed next to her, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know…"

Joker sat next to her with his legs crossed on the cushion. He ran his hand across her back, "Hug?" She nodded and fell into his open arms, his warmth engulfing her wildly, "I wish you'd tell me what's wrong pumpkin."

Harley placed her hands into one of his coat pockets, "I don't know what's wrong. I just felt like I needed to cry."

"As long as nothing's wrong…you girls are silly creatures, always needing a cry here and there. But I don't mind." He chuckled, "Because when you cry your face gets all scrunched up and you just look unbelievably cute Harl."

She pushed harder against his chest while she dug around in his pocket, when she finally came across an object and she pulled it out, "A cheeseburger?"

Joker grabbed it and looked it over, "That would be a cheeseburger."

"Why the hell do you have a cheeseburger in your pocket?"

He started to unwrap it, "I don't know."

Harley shook her head and looked up at him, "You don't know why you had a cheeseburger in your pocket?"

"I don't remember ever putting one in there…" He examined the burger with great care.

Harley laughed, "How long has it been in there you think?"

"It isn't rotten…not that long I'm guessing."

"That's so disgusting Joker, you need to clean out your coats more often." She started to dig through his other pockets.

She came across a knife and pulled it out, she flipped out the blade and looked at it, "Oh my gosh…" Etched into the blade was a fancy way of writing 'Harley' and it had two diamonds before and after the name, "How long have you had this?"

"Didn't I show you it?"

"No…" Harley looked at him kindly, "You probably lost it in your coat a long time ago and forgot about it."

"Possible, I've had it for about a year."

"Don't you ever take stuff out of your pockets to get it washed?" Harley went to a new pouch in his coat.

He kissed the top of her head, "I just take my coat to Ike and tell him that all of my stuff better be in my pockets when I get it back."

"Oh." She pulled out a small rubber chicken, "What the hell are you going to do with this, smack someone with it?"

He laughed, "I don't know."

"You probably have a lot of stuff in these pockets that you won't ever use." She set the chicken on the coffee table.

"You never know when a rubber chicken may come in handy…"

"What could you possibly use it for?"

"I can think of five good uses for a rubber chicken Harley." He took the chicken off of the table and strangled its neck.

"Like what?" She held him tighter and kissed his neck.

"You can amuse your hyena. If your hyena insists on chewing on your shoes, try to convince them to chew on a rubber chicken instead."

Harley bit his earlobe, "Dork."

"You can…cheer up a friend. If your friend is feeling down, give em' a rubber chicken. If it doesn't make em' smile, the sheer absurdity of the item should at least distract them from there problems."

She giggled in his ear, and it energized him.

"I bet you could even cross a giant chasm, of course there would have to be a cable stretched across the chasm and your rubber chicken would also have to have a pulley in the middle of it."

"You are so random!"

Joker grabbed her and sucked lightly on her neck, "You can juggle rubber chickens. I mean sure you could juggle tennis balls or something boring like that but chickens are more mesmerizing!"

He took of his coat as he sucked a little more aggressively and Harley started to undo his tie. His breathing became short and he started to cough and wheeze, "Baby you're still hurt…we can wait."

Joker held his diaphragm as he wheezed, "I want you though…"

She smiled and stroked his cheek, "I know Puddin'. What was the fifth use of a rubber chicken?"

"Wielded effectively a rubber chicken can stun your enemies…" He coughed again.

She laughed and stood up, "You want me to get you some hot chocolate Mistah J? It'll make you feel better, I promise."

He gave her a warm smile, "Sure Harley."

Harley went to the kitchen leaving him behind and began to collect various ingredients and utensils needed to create the drink. She went to the fridge to collect the milk and satisfied with finding it she closed the door, to her surprise Joker was standing behind it.

"Shit!" She jumped out of fright that he was right there, "How the hell did you get here without me seeing you?"

He laughed and shrugged, "I don't know, I didn't mean to scare you though sweetie pie." He pressed his elbows against the island in the kitchen and watched her move about with a smile plastered onto his face.

"If your name wasn't 'The Joker' I may have believed you."

"Are you going to make it the way I like?" He licked his lips as she began to mix some ingredients together.

She smiled, "Yes…"

"Are you going to put those miniature marshmallows in it?"

"Yes…"

He scooted over to her side of the island, "Are you going to sprinkle ginger on the top of it?"

Harley laughed just a little, "You don't like ginger…"

"What do I like?" He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her pressing his lips against the back of her neck.

"You like cinnamon…"

Joker rested his chin on the top of her head, "You know me so well."

She rolled her eyes and then turned her head to the side and waited for him to kiss her. When he did she turned her attention back to shaving the chocolate, "Do you want to see if Danielle wants some too?"

He pulled away, "Should I wake her up? She's only been asleep for a little bit."

"Go ahead, she'll be fine." Harley urged him away with her foot.

Joker scurried off to where Danielle's room was. He entered and smiled as he watched her sleeping peacefully underneath the covers. He knelt down beside her, "Danielle, wake up." He nudged her softly.

She opened her eyes and looked at Joker, "Hi."

"Hi…you want hot chocolate?"

Danielle rolled her eyes around in thought, "Are you making it or mommy?"

Joker picked her up and laughed, "Don't worry mommy is."

"Then yes!"

Harley poured the liquid into mugs as Joker reappeared with Danielle. He set her down on the floor but she wouldn't let go of his hands. Joker didn't mind a bit.

"Here you go Dannie girl." Harley handed her a mug filled with hot chocolate, "Careful okay?"

Danielle let go of her father's hands as she retrieved her mug and then scampered off into the room with the view of the sea.

"And here you go, one hot chocolate, the way you like it, with miniature marshmallows and cinnamon sprinkled on top."

Joker smiled while taking the mug and then gave Harley a big kiss on the nose, "Why thank you!" He went into the living room with Danielle.

Her mug had been set on the coffee table and she stood by the window looking out at the sea.

Joker set himself down on the couch and watched her, "What are you looking at sugar?"

"The snow."

Harley walked into the room and carefully set herself next to Joker. He wrapped his arm around her and smiled.

Danielle pressed her hands against the window and then tilted her head to the side, "Can we go out and play in the snow?"

"Tomorrow okay sugar pop? Daddy needs to rest for a little bit." Joker set down his mug.

Danielle turned around, "Okay."

Harley closed her eyes and started to fall asleep so Joker grabbed her mug out of her hands and set it on the table as well, "Go to sleep Harley." He grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and covered her up.

Danielle climbed up onto the couch and slid herself under the covers with her mother. Harley smiled and wrapped her arm around her daughter, "Hey Dannie girl, you want to take a nap with momma?"

There was no response she was already out.

"I take that as a yes." Harley giggled out.

"What time is it anyways?" Joker rubbed Harley's feet which were sitting in his lap.

"About eight o'clock, why?"

He yawned, "I want to go nigh nigh."

"Nigh nigh?"

"I'm tired Harley…"

She giggled and kissed Danielle, "Did she even drink her hot chocolate?"

Joker looked down into her mug, "Yes…she downed it!"

"Go and take her back to bed and then we can go nigh nigh."

He jumped up and stretched his abdomen as far as he could without inflicting too much pain to it. He picked up Danielle and trotted away to take her to bed. He returned shortly after and stood above Harley.

"Who put the Christmas tree up?" Harley had noticed the tree that sat in the corner of the room.

"My henchmen, they're bringing over more stuff in the morning. Now come on woman, get up and let's go to bed. The cots at Arkham are simply atrocious and I can't wait to get into my warm cuddly bed again…"

Harley smiled and opened her arms up wide expecting to be picked up.

"You want me to carry you to bed?"

"Mmhmm."

"You have legs don't you?"

She giggled madly, "No!"

He smiled, "Are you sure? I could have sworn you walked into the house on your own, was I mistaken?"

"They broke shortly after that."

Joker bent down and picked her up, pressing her close to his chest and kissing her sweetly, "How unfortunate…"

"Not for me it isn't."

He cocked his head and swayed her back and forth, "No?"

"How is it unfortunate that now I get to be carried everywhere by the man I love?"

Joker smiled, "Damn Harley, that's really corny…"

"It worked didn't it?"

He began to walk to their bedroom, "I suppose so."

"Then I don't care if it was trite."

"Well it isn't regrettable for me either." He entered the room and set her down on the bed, "Because now I get to carry the girl I love around everywhere. Now she'll be even closer to my heart."

Harley laughed, "Now that was sweet _and_ corny."

Joker hovered himself above her body kissing her neck and throat, "I want you Harl…"

"You already have me."

He pressed his lips against hers and laughed, "This is going to be one of those sentimental nights huh?"

"Looks that way." She ran her hands to the bottom of his shirt and un-tucked it from his pants.

"Have you ever wondered, _why_, we were born?" He kissed her jaw line kindly.

She started to unbutton his shirt, "Yea why?"

Joker ran his thumb along her lips, "I think I was born to love you."

They both laughed, one high pitched, the other low and ominious.

Harley finished unbuttoning and Joker slipped his shirt off, she ran her hand against his bruises, "I'm sorry I made you carry me, I forgot."

"I don't care, I like to hold you." He licked her ear soothingly.

"We're quite sappy tonight."

Joker lifted her chin up as he kissed her lips, "Its okay in moderation pumpkin."

She reached down and held onto the top of his pants, "You want to know why I think I was born?"

"Yes." He pulled away from his kissing but let his lips brush against hers.

"I think I was born to fulfill your other half, that way you _could_ love me."

He smiled and then let out a chuckle, "Me too." Joker fell to the side of Harley but brought her on top of him, "I was pretty fucked up before I met you Harl."

She couldn't help but laugh, "You still are…"

"I love you." He laughed as he spoke.

Harley undid his pants, "Aww Puddin' you're happy to see me!"

"Of course Harley, I'm always happy to see my girl."

They both shared in another laugh as Joker ran his hand across his abdomen.

"I think you're still too hurt to have a blissful session." She shot him a smile.

"What? You get me all worked up and then drop me like that? It's hard enough to keep from getting aroused by just looking at you. Then you practically throw yourself onto me with all of these little…emotional foreplay things…and then you're going to drop me like a bag of groceries?"

Harley tossed her head back and laughed.

"I'm serious! That's pretty messed up Harl!"

She shook her head and pulled off his pants, tossing them to the side. She went back to his boxers and pulled them down as well, "You know for being called The Joker…you should realize when I'm joking with you or not."

He straightened his smile out, "Maybe I was joking with you…ever thought of that miss funny?"

"It ran across my mind." Harley crawled over him and up to his growing smile. She kissed him gently while she took off her shirt.

He fumbled at her jeans, "Fuck! You're the biggest tease in the world!"

"Why?"

"Your damn jeans won't come undone!"

She laughed and undid them with ease, "Happy?"

"No! I'm so fucking sexually frustrated it's beyond pathetic now."

Harley looked down at his cock that pressed firmly into his stomach, "Yes you are…"

"Do something about it!" He started laughing hysterically at her reddening face for she too couldn't stop laughing, "Please baby I'm dying!"

She pressed her hands against his chest and then relaxed her laughing to a steady breathing process, Joker chuckled lightheartedly.

"I love you Mistah J."

"Then release me of my tension!"

She closed her eyes tightly and let out another burst of laughter, "I'm so sorry!"

Joker wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, "Why are you sorry for laughing?"

"Because you want me to 'release you of your tension' and I keep laughing…"

He kissed her as they both laughed, "I don't mind…but I do wish you'd give the ultimate blissful session, I got a real hard on for it…"

Harley snorted and fell to the side of Joker and off of the bed. Her laughter was overtaken by the sound of a loud 'thump' and Joker looked over the side of the bed laughing, "Harley?"

She held onto her bare stomach laughing so hard that she had to take large gasps of air in when she could.

"Don't think you can get away from me by just falling to the ground. I can still have full mobility down there." He smiled as he watched Harley laugh with no care to the world.

She stood up and took her pants off still laughing crazily now only in her underwear and bra. She walked over to the bathroom and stepped into the shower taking off all the remaining clothes and tossing them over the shower door.

Joker sighed and stood up listening to her pleasant laughter. It was almost enough to make him explode right there, "Harl?"

He opened the shower door and watched the water fall over her, "Why are you taking a shower?"

"Because…" She started to laugh again, "Because it's…it's hot!" She fanned at her face.

"That's because you can't stop laughing." He stepped inside and closed the door.

Harley wrapped her arms around him and laughed into his chest, "I can't stop!"

"That's okay." Joker pulled her face away from his chest and watched her tears of joy stroll down her cheeks, "Tell me, are you cheeks cramping?"

"Yes!"

"Do you feel good?"

She nodded as a few more giggles made their way out of her.

"Then it's okay."

Harley felt his cock against her skin, "But…you want me to provide a…'release of tension'!" She started to laugh harder.

He kissed her neck as she laughed, "Harl, by laughing your doing a whole lot more than that."

"I don't even know why I'm laughing!"

Joker pushed her against the wall, "Because you're happy."

"I feel like I'm drunk…"

He laughed into her neck, "I like when you're happy pumpkin."

She kissed him, "I like when you make me happy Puddin'…"

"You know what I really like about this?" He ran his index finger down between her breasts and licked her lips, "It's pure…not fake…your laughter is so pure Harl. I have never heard a laugh in all my years that was as clean and untainted and _gorgeous_ as yours."

Her laughing stopped and her face relaxed, but then after a short pause she snorted again and burst out in a screaming laughter.

Joker kissed her passionately while she laughed, allowing his tongue to intertwine with hers.

"I love you Mistah J!" She managed to get it out before she began laughing again.

Joker pushed her legs apart with his knee and then slyly pressed the tip of his sex against her opening. He watched as Harley pushed her head against the shower wall. Her eyes were opened, and she bit her bottom lip while her arms were wrapped tenderly around his neck.

He slowly slid the tip of his cock into her and had to stop and appreciate the beautiful glow of her smile, and the wonderful sound of her playful moan exit her.

He smiled and lifted her leg up and let it fall over his, he pushed himself into her and listened to her moan loudly. He bit into her neck and felt faint when he saw her blood ooze so carelessly downwards.

"Oh God Puddin'!"

Joker smirked and sucked at the bite mark, "That weirdo has nothing to do with this Harl!"

He trembled as she laughed again into his ear, he didn't feel any pain from the wounds he had been so nicely given earlier. All he felt was her joy and happiness.

He pushed himself deeper each time he thrust himself into her, "Fuck Harley_ you feel so damn good_!"

The blood from her neck drizzled down over her right breast and Joker licked up the trail with his tongue. Harley felt herself begin to tighten after a short time, "I'm gonna come…"

"Do you want to yet?" He teased her as he slowed down his pace.

Her breathing became hard and ragged, "Yes!"

Joker pulled himself out of her and kissed her lips, "I don't think you want it that bad…"

"Please Puddin'! Please I want to so bad!" She lowered her hand down to her clit but Joker grabbed her arm.

"Okay pumpkin."

Joker reentered her and swiftly thrust himself in and out. He pressed his forehead against hers, "_You're so tight I love it!"_

"Harder baby harder! I'm so close!"

He obliged and soon felt her warm liquid surround him. He felt laughter build up inside his chest, darker than ever for some reason. Harley smiled when she heard his ominous laughter start to peak, she felt herself release again from the memorization of his uniqueness.

It started out a low decibel but then bit by bit it climaxed at a higher point echoing against the walls of the shower and room. Harley felt him release his tension inside of her, and she hurriedly gave him kisses against his chest as he pulled out of her.

His laughter reversed as it dissipated, starting out at the climax and then bit by bit turning into that low decibel terrorizing sound. Harley swooned at it, "_You're the greatest Mistah J!"_


	23. Chapter 23

Joker and Harley lay on their bed, he on his back and she on her stomach. She ran her fingers in circles against his chest, "I'm not tired."

He opened his eyes and turned his head towards her smiling, "Me either."

"What time is it?"

Joker looked over at the alarm clock, "About twelve."

"Only twelve?"

"Yup." He looked back at her and reached his hand out to her cheek, "Only twelve."

She scooted herself closer to him, burying her face into his side, "You look sexy when you only wear your pajama bottoms to bed and no shirt."

"Yea?"

"Yes."

Joker flipped over onto his side and then ran his fingers against Harley's stomach, "You always look hot to me."

Harley giggled into his chest, "I could never stop loving you, you know that?"

He only embraced her. That was the only thing he wanted to hear at that moment. He rubbed the back of her neck, "Harley?" He kissed her forehead and she laughed.

"Yes?"

"You're so beautiful."

She laughed, "So beautiful you could slit my throat?"

"Oh yes…" He let his finger travel along her throat, "Let's go play in the snow Harl."

She pushed back in shock, "Its midnight!"

"So? Let's get Danielle up and go out and play!" He jumped up enthusiastically out of the bed and ran to the closet to get dressed.

"You're serious?"

He turned around and looked at her while he slipped into his coat, "I'm always serious…"

"Right." Harley got of bed and she too started to prepare herself for the outside, "Poor kid doesn't get any sleep with us huh? Having a random dad doesn't help either."

"She'll be fine…" He grabbed Harley's coat and handed it to her, "I'll go get her."

Joker went off to Danielle's room and then knelt down beside her when he entered, "Hey sugar pop!" He pushed her until she woke up.

One eye was closed and the other looked at him with an intense glare, "Hi…" She didn't seem too happy to be woken up.

Joker noticed this, "Well fine, I guess you don't want to go outside and play in the snow…" He stood up and started to walk away.

"Wait! I want to play in the snow!" She jumped out of bed and ran to her closet, "Wait!"

"What outfit do you want to wear? Mommy colors or daddy colors?"

She paused her actions for a moment, "Mommy colors!"

Joker reached into her closet and pulled out a jacket that had a black right side and red left side. He put it onto her and then grabbed her matching pants that had a red right side and black left side and likewise slipped them onto her, "You look like mommy."

"Not yet!" She ran over to her drawer and grabbed a pair of gloves and slipped them on. The left hand glove was black and the right was red.

"Now do you look like mommy?" Joker leaned against the wall as he watched his daughter travel quickly about the room.

She ran back to her closet and retrieved a pair of snow boots again one was red and one was black. Once she had them on she walked over to her father, "Now I look like mommy!"

He placed a finger onto his lips and tapped his foot, "Not quite baby princess."

"Oh!" She went over to her bed and lifted up her pillow, underneath was a red and black beanie. She slid it onto her head, "Now I look like mommy?"

"Yup!" Joker bent down and picked her up and brought her back with him to Harley.

Harley appeared out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready for the snow. When she saw Danielle a wide grin appeared, "Hey Dannie girl, you picked mommy's colors?"

"Yes!" She reached her hands out to Harley, wanting to be held by her. Joker handed her over.

Joker chuckled, "Come on let's go have a snowball fight!"

The three of them exited the house and instantly Harley and Danielle started to build a fort. Joker seeing that he was on his own laughed, "You girls are going to gang up on me?"

Danielle shouted out, "You're going down!"

Joker took his smile off realizing the seriousness of this battle and started working hard at his own fort. A snowball slapped him in the face suddenly and he scrunched his brow and looked up at Harley and Danielle. He smiled as he saw each of them pointing at the other in fear, "Let's not point fingers now…who was it?"

Harley cowered down behind the half way built fort and Danielle laughed as she continued to build up her side of the barrier.

"Harley, really?" He positioned himself on his stomach and looked over the snow wall he had built.

"Sorry Pudd'."

Danielle, in the midst of their conversation, tossed a snowball over at her dad while he wasn't looking. It hit softly on the top of his head, "This isn't fair! Two against one!"

Danielle fell over in laughter and rolled around in the snow giggling madly, "I got you!"

Joker stuck his tongue out in concentration as he smoothed a snowball out to be perfectly round, "Guess what DD?"

"What?" She stopped rolling and looked up, fully exposed from her safety barrier of snow she had built.

Joker threw the snowball over at Danielle but she ducked just in time for it to pass over her head, "Damn!"

"Ha! You missed!" She crawled back over to Harley who then whispered in her daughter's ear.

"Here…" She handed her a huge snowball, three times the size of the puny ones they had been throwing, "Get daddy!"

They both looked up from the wall and were surprised to not see Joker in sight, "Uh oh…"

"Uh oh is right Danielle…" They both looked furiously across the snow for his appearance but couldn't find him anywhere.

Harley started to make a plethora of snowballs, "Look for him Dannie girl!"

Danielle snuck her eyes over the barrier. All was extremely quiet, "I don't see him…"

"Keep looking, he's probably right under our noses."

She continued her search and noticed something, "Momma!"

"Did you find him?"

She looked over at her mom, "Uh…no." but she pointed out to the area between Jokers fort and theirs. A trail of footsteps leading right up to their barrier could be seen.

Harley nodded, "Well, maybe he's behind us?" She handed her a snowball and acted out what she wanted her to do.

Danielle giggled and then speedily jumped out from the barrier and slung the ball at her father who had been hiding in front of their fort, "How the hell did you know I was there?" He wiped the snow off of his face.

She laughed and pointed out to the footsteps.

"Stupid snow…" Joker stood up and brushed off the excess snow on his coat. Another snowball hit his side and he looked over at Harley who started laughing joyfully, "Will you give me a chance at least?"

Harley shook her head, "No!"

"No?"

Danielle threw a snowball at him now, "No!"

He sighed and walked back over to his fort as he felt at least six different snowballs hit his back, he smiled all the way.

"Hey Dannie girl…come here." Harley called out to her quietly and waited for her to reach her, "I've got a plan…" She whispered into her daughter's ear, "Understand?"

"Yes!" Danielle rose her hands up in the air, "Daddy, I want to be on your side now!"

He squinted his eyes and then smiled, "Okay, come here sugar pop."

Harley smiled trying to hide her laughter, as she watched Danielle run as best she could through the snow and over to Joker.

Danielle sat next to her father and waited for several moments until her mother gave her the command.

"Now Dannie!"

Danielle pulled the already made snowball out of her pocket and threw it harshly at her father who hadn't a clue to the ambush he had brought upon himself.

He wiped away the snowball from his chest as he watched Danielle run back to Harley.

"That's just wrong!" He formed a ball and then threw at the back of Danielle making contact square on, "Finally!" He threw his hands up in victory.

Danielle playfully limped to her mom, "I'm hit! I'm hit!"

Joker made eye contact now with Harley. A furious look that hit the back of Joker's mind was being shown, "That doesn't look good…" He hid behind his fort.

"No one hits my girl!" She waited until Danielle was safely back, "I'm goin' in Dannie girl! It could be dangerous, but I'm doin' it for you!"

Danielle laughed and patted her mothers back, "Don't do anything stupid, it's not worth it!"

"I must!" She posed in a dramatic fashion and Danielle giggled carelessly.

Harley kissed her forehead and then jumped out from her safety barrier, "You've made a grave mistake by hitting my girl buddy!"

Joker peered over his fort and saw Harley running in slow motion to greater emphasize the moment, he couldn't help but burst out in laughter and fall over onto his back. After a few moments Harley made it to his location and smiled, "Sorry but…" She threw the snowball down hard against his stomach and then fell down over him.

Joker grabbed her neck and gave her a kiss, "You make me laugh miss funny."

Danielle looked over at the other fort and didn't see any movement, "Mommy? Did you make it?"

"Mommy didn't make it precious girl!" He stood up with Harley in his arms in a cradling position.

Harley laughed, "Come save me Danielle!" Joker set her down behind the fort and readied himself with snowballs to fight off Danielle.

She looked around quickly and saw a trash can lid behind her. Danielle grabbed the lid and hid herself behind it as she slowly made her way across to her mother's position.

"Damn she's smart…" Joker looked down at Harley in a surprised expression, Harley was just as amazed.

"Good thinking Danielle!"

Danielle charged now screaming out odd and random battle noises that caused Joker and Harley to laugh. They watched as she threw punches to invisible people and pushed her shield out at oncoming weapons. Joker fell to his knees in laughter as she did a quick tuck and roll to the side and then jumped up with a 'hi-ya!'

Harley noted out loud, "She has quite the imagination."

She kicked her leg out an unseen enemy and then charged onward until she reached her fathers barrier, and stood heroically with her clenched fists on her hips "Give me my mommy back or else!"

He smiled, "Or else what?"

"It's a secret…"

They both narrowed their eyes, waiting for the next response, "I'll give you back your mommy…if you do one thing for me."

"I'm listening…"

Both he and Harley laughed at how far she was taking her role, "You give me a big hug, and I'll give her back."

Danielle bit her lip contemplating her choices, "Deal."

"Phew! I thought you were going to kick my butt like you did to all those guys!" He pointed out to the seemingly empty space between the two forts.

Danielle smiled and gave him a hug, "You're lucky, I was going too!"

Harley stood up and joined in on the hug, "You want to go down to the hill and sled Danielle?"

"Yea!"

The three stood up, Harley on the far right, Joker in the middle, and Danielle on the far left with the trash can lid by her side as she dragged it along the snow. Joker placed his hand on the back of Danielle's head and held Harley's hand with the other, "Was that fun DD?" Joker asked.

She shook her head like mad, "Yes!"

Harley spoke up, "What was your favorite part?"

"When I saved you from daddy."

Joker let go of Harley's hand and placed his arm around her waist pulling her in closer and giving her a quick kiss on the temple.

Then an incredibly loud gun shot was heard, followed closely by the sound of a piercing clang…


	24. Chapter 24

Joker's heart stopped as he first heard the shot, it then broke as he heard the piercing clang of the bullet hitting something. It seemed so slow as he let go of Harley and looked down at Danielle, and she just stood there, like nothing had happened. He saw the trash can lid several feet in front of them, a bullet hole residing in it. He turned around to see a man about fifty feet away from them aiming to shoot again. Joker reached down into his pocket to reveal his own gun and shot relentlessly at him, hitting him several times in the chest and face. He dropped his gun as he ran out of bullets and fell to his knees to grab Danielle. He didn't care if the guy had information or not, he shot at his daughter, he needed to die.

Harley had been holding tightly onto Danielle's small body, tears flowing from her eyes. Danielle cried hard into her mother's neck.

Joker placed his hand onto the back of Danielle but spoke to Harley, "Did she get hit?"

"No…"

A rushed relief went through him. He wanted to die, just shrivel up and die right there. How could he almost have let his own daughter, his own flesh and blood get shot? She could have _died_...

Harley held firmly onto Danielle who still cried harshly, "I can't do this anymore."

Joker looked up, his eyes already filling with tears, "What?"

"I can't do this…" She closed her eyes and picked up Danielle walking away towards the house.

"What…what do you mean?" His voice cracked.

Harley stopped her steps, hushing Danielle soothingly, "I'm leaving and taking Danielle." She continued walking and entered the house.

He followed right behind her, "When are you coming back?"

"I'm not…"

Harley grabbed her cell phone and called a cab, while Joker stood by her side trying to register everything that had just happened, "Why?"

"My daughter just got shot at! That's fucking why!"

He reached out to her shoulder but stopped himself, "You can't go."

Harley went into Danielle's room and grabbed some toys and clothing, "Yes I can."

"You said you'd never leave me…"

"I need to do what's best for my daughter."

He shook his head, "Our daughter."

She walked away shaking her head.

"Harley, just sit down and think about this. If you leave then I can't protect you." He held onto the back of his head, still trying to download everything.

"A bullet coming within inches of her is NOT protecting her!" She opened the door and took a step outside, "Three times Joker! Three times I almost lost her…"

"We already talked about this, please Harley, we talked about the consequences of having her." He pleaded with her, she was slipping away from his grasps and he was still trying to figure out everything that had just happened. It seemed so simple his daughter had been shot at, and now Harley was leaving…_oh shit_.

"Harley don't go! Please don't go!" It finally clicked.

"I'm sorry…" Tears fell softly from her, "I have to do this for Danielle."

She started to walk with Danielle to the street but Joker grabbed her shoulder, "Don't walk away!"

"Don't do this Joker…just let me go…"

He felt tears fall across his cheeks, "I told you I could never let you go, you told me that you would never leave! I love you Harley, I love you I need you!"

She kept quiet as she bounced Danielle while she held her.

"Talk to me…" He wrapped his arms around her but she pulled away, "Harley."

"Joker…she almost got kidnapped. She would have been gone. Then she got a taser aimed at her face, her face! Now she gets shot at…next time it could be worse."

"You don't understand, if you leave, then you'll be even worse off!"

She turned away out of his view, she hated this just as much as he did.

"_Harley_…just come back inside it's cold out here."

The cab pulled up and Harley opened the back door and set Danielle down inside along with her belongings. She turned around and gave him one last look.

"Harley…please I can protect you."

She reached out to his cheek and wiped away the tears and then got into the cab. Danielle climbed over her lap, "Daddy!"

Harley let Joker bend down and give her a hug, "I love you Danielle, you always remember that."

"I love you daddy…"

Danielle went back over to the other seat, not really sure what was going on. Joker grabbed onto Harley's hand and tightened his grip, "Please Harley, I'm begging you…but I'm not going to force you."

She bit her lip, "Just…let go…"

"Where are you going to go?"

"Ivy's…"

He nodded and leaned in and kissed her, but she didn't kiss back. He sighed and pulled away, "I love you Harley…"

She battled with her tears as Joker let go of her hand and closed the door. Closed the door to his only two loves in the whole world, closing off his access from them for who knew how long. He took a step back and watched silently as the cab pulled away, it had all happened so fast. The cab was out of view and he grabbed his face with both hands and screamed.

It didn't help his anger or insecurity or regret or anything, but it felt good. It felt good to just scream. He dropped his knees down to the ground, what had he done?

He fucked up…he screwed up his entire life. He didn't protect them, he said he would, he said he would!

He had no idea if he would ever see them again, ever hear their laughter, ever see those two beautiful smiles. He lost them…both of them…the only two things in the world that made him truly happy. _He lost them…_

But maybe it was for the best, maybe if they were away from him they could live safely. Then they could be truly happy. That's all he wanted for them to do was be happy, that's all he tried to do for them was make them happy. Then he messed up, and let his girl become vulnerable.

His body shook and trembled, he was such a horrible father he thought. They should have just had an abortion…not be so selfish and bring that beautiful creature into this disgusting and vile world. But he wanted to show everyone…show everyone what a wonderful job he could do at being a parent. Show the world a joke…

A good joke, not like any of the other jokes he did.

And then he shot himself in the foot, and then shoved it down his throat and it went unbelievably deep. What type of father puts their kid on the line like that?

_I'm no better than my father…_

He stopped crying and just sat now, his body still convulsing at the thought he had just produced. He couldn't be any better than his own father, he was just stopped before he killed Danielle…he just got lucky.

Harley saw what was happening and she stopped it before it could get any worse, and for that he was truly thankful. If he had never met Harley, none of this would have happened. She would have never been in danger. If he didn't pursue her, if he just would have let her be his doctor and let things take a natural course instead of letting his stupid ass obsessive compulsive tendencies get the better of him…she would be safe. He believed that.

And he would be his old self, psychopath with no remorse to anything. No reason to remorse anything because he had no one in life to worry about.

He needed to be that person, he needed to be The Joker, not Joker…_The Joker_…he needed to change back.

The Joker lifted his hand up to his face and looked it over…it was so clean…no blood…no dirt…nothing. He stood up and walked over to the man he had shot. He looked him over and smiled as he bent down and ran his hand over his face, at least what was left of it. His eyes closed as felt the slippery substance beneath the tips of his fingers.

He knew just what to do to get back to his old self…

But did he want to do it? Did he want to loose his new self? Did he really want to feel remorse or no? Did he want to be his old self if Danielle was introduced back into his life? What if Harley just needed to get away for a few days? What would she think of him if he went back to _The_ Joker?

He pulled his hand away and wiped his hand on his coat.

He loved Harley and Danielle too much to risk it.

He loved them too much to let them just walk away from him, even if Harley thought he wasn't protecting them, he was. And he would continue to protect them whether she knew it or not.

It disturbed him to know that she didn't tell him that she loved him back after he had said it to her. Six years she had trusted him, and it so abruptly blew up in his face…six years and now she didn't trust him to protect her.

Joker opened up the man's coat and took out his wallet, what an idiot to keep you wallet on you. His name was Irwin Tabor. He would look into that later.

He went back into the house and instructed Cur to clean up the body outside. He moved aimlessly towards the kitchen and pulled out a glass and filled it with whiskey. He moved it to his lips but stopped and threw it across the room, causing it to smash with a wall.

Why didn't she say that she loved him too? Why?

Joker pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat down heavily. He just wanted Harley to come back…he could do better, he could protect them!

He could if he was The Joker…but then again he probably wouldn't care for them as much…but he could protect them…

"Fuck!"

What was between The Joker and Joker? Was their even something in the middle?

He dug his fingers into his scalp.

He needed to be able to love and protect, not just one or the other…he needed to do both.

_He wanted to do both…_

Joker stood up and paced the room, he had to find the middle. For the loves of his life he would.

"Damn it Harley!" He struck his fist hard against the granite counter top in the kitchen.

He went to his room shortly after and put himself into his bed. He got under the covers and felt so alone without Harley by his side, snuggling close to his body and telling him how much she loved him. He would do anything to get her back, anything at all.

There could be no weirdo in the sky if this was what his fate was to become. Show him what happiness really is, give him the world! And then the fucking bastard takes it away in an instant with no _remorse_…

He lived in Hell…

Joker whistled the non distinct tune that he and Danielle had secretly come up with while he tried to fall asleep. It relaxed him to think that maybe she was humming it right back with him. Just maybe his beautiful daughter was.

Harley sat in the cab holding onto Danielle's small and fragile hand, "I'm sorry baby girl."

"For what?"

"For taking you away from daddy."

"We'll see him again."

"Not for a long time Dannie girl."

"Why?"

"Because we'll be safer if we're away from him."

Danielle's eyes produced more tears, "Take me back."

"What?"

"I don't care if I'm safe I want daddy with us…"

Harley looked down at her and cried, "You'll understand when you're older."

"You always said that I was safe mommy…"

She stroked her back, "Things happen sometimes."

Danielle pushed into Harley's side and began to hum the secretive tune, "We'll see daddy soon, I know it."

* * *

End of Part 2, Part 3 to be posted soon. Thank you all for being patient as I reposted this. I had intended to edit it, thus why I had pulled it down (I wasn't pleased with the grammar and structure, but then decided against it). I look it at now as something to compare to my current writing samples and it's nice to see how I've grown through the years.

Thanks again everyone.


End file.
